Loving care vet west milford nj

Hey everyone! Hope you're having a good week so far and you're looking forward to the weekend!
I love meeting new people and getting to know one another. I really enjoy voice chatting as I feel like it helps me build a better connection with someone. I have been told I have quite a deep, soothing voice too. I actually really enjoy making other people happy too and making someone laugh or smile always makes me smile too.
Physically, I'm 6'1, with short brown/blackish hair, deep blue eyes, fairly broad and keep myself in good shape. Physical attraction is important to me so I'm happy to swap pictures as soon as we start talking.
Ideally I'm hoping to find someone in the North West however, I'm open to talk to anyone from anywhere! I'm open to relocation too.
I'm a big fan of gaming, martial arts, going to the gym, board games and watching films/series on Netflix. If you have any recommendations, I'd love to hear them. I'm always open to new recommendations!
I'm happy to talk about anything at all. No topic is off limit - I'm an open book.
I would describe myself as intelligent, ambitious, passionate, kind, caring and very affectionate with good communication skills. I love making my partner feel loved, safe, wanted and cared for. Just making them happy would be my number one priority. In the bedroom, I'd definitely describe myself as dominant and I enjoy taking charge and being in control, but again, making sure my partner feels cared for too.
If any of this has piqued your interest, please message me!

Hello everyone!
My name is Pip, AKA Mystic Mind. I'm a 34 y/o Genderqueer Demi-Girl (they/them) living in the North-West of England (Cheshire region) who is looking for a nerdy Sapphic partner. As you can probably guess from the title, I'm a huge animation nerd, and see Luz X Amity as my ideal relationship goal.
I'm the kind of enby who can talk your ear off about anything I find fascinating, be it animation, Dinosaurs, steam trains, or Heavy Metal music.
I've only recently come to identify as trans-femme, and haven't done any physical transitioning yet, so I do still look masculine. I'm currently experimenting with social transitioning to see what grants me euphoria, but it's work in progress. I hope this doesn't put off anyone who's exclusively lesbian/interested in feminine enbies, as I am.
I personally don't care what your ASAB is. For the purposes of dating, I am romantically attracted to any woman, cis or trans (including gender non-conforming enbies).
With all this said, I should mention that the concept of the "Friend Zone" is a pet peeve of mine, because it implies that friendships are somehow a consolation prize in a relationship hierarchy. Would I like to find a romantic partner? Of course! But a good romance will only be as functional as a solid friendship, so making new friends who share interests are more than welcomed, anyway.
Personality wise, I describe myself as "Genderqueer Chaos" and the "Friendly Neighbourhood Anarchist". I am a very chill person, and usually only get angry at stuff like overt bigotry or an unwillingness to learn from one's mistakes. Even if someone has come from a very problematic background, I am happier to forgive than many, because I'm more concerned with a person's present day actions and how they're actively doing better today.
I follow the "Everything, Everywhere, All At Once" school of optimistic nihilism. In my view, there are no gods, no set destiny or plan for the universe. There is only humans, and it's our actions that can change a person's life, at the end of the day.
After all, "You are not unworthy of love. There's always something to love. Even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hotdogs for fingers, we can get very good with our feet."
As a final note, I'm a big animal lover, and own two lovely Degu boys myself. So, if you have any pets, however exotic, feel free to share any pics of them!
I hope to meet more people who share similar interests while also being on the Ace spectrum :)

And now the six merry murderesses of the West Hollywood drunk tank In their rendition of 'The Vanderpump Tango'
TV! BJs! Pasta! Tequila, Faith, Lightning! TV! BJs! Pasta! Tequila, Faith, Lightning! TV! BJs! Pasta! Tequila, Faith, Lightning!
He had it coming, he had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same
TV! BJs! Pasta! Tequila, Faith, Lightning!
You know how people have these little talents That, like, turn you on, like Rob Rob liked to hang tvs, in, like, seven minutes Like, I come home this one day and there's Rob He’s got another tv and a timer going So, like, I said to him, I said "Rob, you took down my canvas portrait to hang that TV" then he shrugged
So I took the TV off the wall And bashed it into his head
He had it coming, he had it coming He only had himself to blame (Yasss, it’s all happening)
I met Rand from who cares where about two years ago And he told me he was rich. He even bought me a Range Rover So, I started giving him bj’s for pjs He'd go to work, he'd play pickleball, I'd fix him fried chicken, play with his toothbrush. Then I found out, successful, my ass Not only did he owe 50 cent, he gave Bruce Willis dementia.
So that night, when he came home I fried him his chicken as usual You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic
He had it coming, he had it coming He took a sugar baby in its prime And then he used it and he abused it It was a murder but not a crime
Now, I'm having an ice cream social With my dog Graham in the living room And in storms my ex boyfriend James in a pasta filled rage "You been screwin' Tom Sandoval" He says and then he kept sayin' “Go go go go go go go go go" Then he ran into my spork He ran into my spork ten times
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you…..uhh, I forgot the rest.
Uggggh, like, why am I here? He wore mumus, and green pants His dick didn’t work, and he was never on my side This is probably all Tom Sandoval’s fault anyway. Ugh, would you blame me though, he poured tequila on my head!
But did you do it? No, it was Stassi
Y’all, my coworker at Sur, Faith, she had this other job as a caregiver for the elderly And my fiancee, Jax, he’s a real cool guy. He’ll give one, two, four, five shots for free Well, this one night we were The three of us, we were at Sur Boozin' and havin' a few laughs but I went home early And then I get this text I open it and it’s a voice memo and There's Faith and Jax Talking about hiding the sausage, on an old lady’s couch!
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I told him to Rawt in Haaail! Then I can't remember a thing, it wasn't until later When I was washing the beer cheese off my hands I even knew he was dead
He had it coming, y’all, he had it coming He had it coming all along I didn't do it, y’all, if I'da done it How could y’all tell me that I was wrong
I loved Tom Sandoval, he thought he was a real artistic guy, sensitive, loved lightning bolts and mustaches, even had a cover band But he was always trying to find himself He’d go out every night, with his sidecar motorcycle, looking for himself And on the way, he found Miami girl, Schwartz’s mom, and Rachel, gave ‘em all the same necklace. A lightning bolt.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead
The dirty pump, pump, pump, pump, pump The dirty pump, pump, pump, pump, pump
They had it comin', (broken birds) they had it comin' (broken birds) They had it comin' all along(Rawt in hail!) 'Cause if they used us (cover band!) and they abused us (tequila on my head!) How could they tell us that we were wrong?
He had it coming, (broken birds) he had it coming, (broken birds) He only had Bravo to blame (bRand new) If you'd have been there (seven minutes!) if you'd have seen it (ice cream social!) I betcha you would have done the same
You hang that tv one more time Rich my ass Ice cream
It was Stassi The old lady’s house Lightning bolt I betcha you would have done the same

I've made this name because my primary account is recognizable. Let me know if I need to clarify.
Me: 40F, "self-employed" with complex disability issues. Isolated, no immediate family or social support, and metaphorically drowning.
Hello strangers. I've never posted some of this publicly so please be kind.
Pretty much all my life, I have been considered strong, smart, and capable of facing some of the worst things life can throw at a person. My role in every community I've been part of has been either the strong mom type or the enigmatic philosophy chaser. People express a lot of appreciation for that person, as long as that person stays "strong" but... If the veneer ever cracks, just about everyone runs. I've always tried to consider this to be like a protective choice to avoid being confronted by weakness found in someone who represents strength for you, but at this point I think that interpretation has probably been too charitable... People stick around as long as I have strength they can take advantage of but will either give me Hallmark platitudes or will avoid talking to me all together during the times I need support the most.
This reputation is ironic as, despite logically recognizing that I am speed running towards homelessness and losing everything, I am unable to admit to it. I'm afraid to admit to how bad it is to the people I know, as multiple difficulties in my past simply resulted in almost all of my relationships being abandoned by the other party, only for them to return and want to be friends again when it looks like I got myself back on track. I'm not sure I could deal with that happening again right now...
I have a therapist. I know I have people who love me. I'm terrified about the materialistic side of my life but I'm not at risk of any type of violence and I don't need crisis intervention in that respect. Additionally, I fully understand this is not an advice thread, though I might take it to one eventually.
I'm so stuck. Things started going downhill about a year ago after unexpected job loss. There went my medical insurance, my treatment plans, my planned effort to move out of an apartment I can't afford, absolutely everything really. Even vet visits for my elderly pet were out of reach. I've tried to get my feet back under me, but I'm no longer physically able to do shitty retail jobs to "get by" because of disability. So I've been fighting through trying to build up some semblance of income doing delivery work and remote task projects... I'm having no luck really with the exception of doing DoorDash, which is the only reason why my pet even gets food right now. I would literally do any kind of work at this point but The nature of career experience combined with the financial necessity I'm facing has made it just about impossible it seems.
Admitting to this even in the bread crumb version I've given so far has been met with comments like, I am strong and resilient, or I have survived worse. I love my little nugget of people, I know this is meant to encourage me or remind me of things I might be forgetting about myself, but it doesn't help me. It sounds like a veiled excuse these days. One that allows distance, to not even check on me to see if I'm emotionally okay. I can't even seem to find an avenue for emotional support from friends despite directly asking. So why would I bother telling them what's actually the full force news of it?
My problems are mine and I know that. It's not reasonable to expect anybody else should care or provide help, whether requested or otherwise. Everyone has their own stuff. Yeah, I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who say things like, if you need help just ask... But any ask in that arena is just met with silence. So instead of being confronted by that, I just choose to maintain silence myself and I know it is negatively contributing to my suffering... Which is that a really terrible space to be to try and make new friends who might be better able to meet me in a balanced fashion.
Often, in the few times I've had a chat to talk about these feelings, I get the message that is essentially earning that effort for care by giving care to others myself, as if it's just a question of karma or something. At this point, I don't understand how much more I am supposed to give or what I haven't given enough of if that's really how the world works. I'm so exhausted, which is running alongside a growing resentment. The result of cutting away so many bits of myself in an effort to be acceptable over the years... without much to show for it.
I try to be of service as a person out there in the world. I try to provide whenever I can. I do these things not because I expect a return, but because I think they are the right things to do... Like helping people navigate emotionally difficult spaces, giving NSA money if they're hitting some financial strain and I have the room to do that, giving references, offering resources, I've even opened my home to let people stay with me when they didn't have anywhere to go. I thought I was doing good as a contributing member of society. I've had a few instances of return in this respect, ones t I'm immensely grateful for, but... It's never lost on me that these few instances were monetary responses to my asking for emotional support or accountability partnerships or other things that would provide a much more sustainable forward momentum. I hate the fact that these offerings brew resentment.
So basically, after decades of fighting on my own and overcoming quite a lot, I'm just so very angry. I know it's not fair to be angry at anyone other than myself because my outcomes are the results of my actions and choices... But I still don't know how to fix something that's the result of undervaluing my own happiness for the sake of others and broader community in general. I don't understand why I can't just be selfish and be a wrecking ball if necessary. I don't know how other people do it.
I also don't expect this to be worthy of comment or concern. I think I ultimately just needed to admit somewhere that I am effectively bankrupt in multiple ways. I am on the brink losing my home. Most of my bills are behind by at least one payment. It's bad enough that it has directly compromised my motivation to think of my passion project is worth giving energy. Even if I did decide to get into it with someone to just admit to how bad it is, I'm not sure how I could do that without experiencing devastatingly mortifying about a failure and immediately feeling like I need to apologize to that person for making it clear that I don't deserve to be considered strong and resilient.
Anyway. It's Friday night and I'm going to go DoorDash with some good music and try to put my braid in a different space. If you read this far, thank you for the time. Feel free to send some positive energy my way... Because the powers that be you should very well know that I was scraping the bottom of my emotional compensation barrel and could really benefit from a sunny rainstorm to refill their reservoir.

I could see it in his eyes, a distant and pained thousand-yard-stare, the type of look that was hardened over years of brutality, the mind of a man cursed with the knowledge of humanity’s most horrid and inescapable depths, the grimace of a human who knew.
“What theater?” I asked simply while sitting beside him, offering my bottle of Jack Daniels.
The park was sparse and cute, families and picnics dotted the horizon like freckles, yet I saw him amongst the pantomime. I saw him because he wasn’t acting. “Olive garden,” He said with grizzled honesty, taking the Jack from my hand and swigging without reservation. “You?”
“Started at a Ruby Tuesdays,” Memories of violence and horrid trauma flashed in my mind like grenades. “Worked my way up the ranks before moving.”
He nodded, “What branch?”
“Front of house, but they also put me on dish when manpower was low.”
A smirk glanced the man’s face, one that spoke of understanding and sympathy, but not of remorse. He knew just as well as I that war was hell, and hell was the service industry. “Call outs?”
“They just quit.” I said while drinking the Jack. “They just….”
“Couldn’t take it.” He finished for me with a nod. “I know son.”
Comradely was all we had. Unity in knowing that we weren’t alone in this brutal state of awareness. We were the tainted children of the modern world, the slimey cogs used to push humanity deeper into whatever sin we were heading for.
“You?”
“Back of house.”
The branch only said so much, how strong was his leader? What was the rush like? Only God can judge a man, and only God can understand the pain of a man on grill.
“The brass hats?” I asked.
He chuckled, letting his head rest between his legs before brining his eyes back to the light of day. Sometimes the soul needs the familiarity of darkness, “GM was fine. A good woman who knew what battle was, but the high end brass hats…”
“Corporate.”
“Corporate.” He corroborated. “They could go to hell. Didn’t know a damn thing about what we went through.”
“They never do,” I offered him more Jack, but I saw the shake in his hands. Raising my eyes to meet his I didn’t see the stare anymore, but I saw the fear, the scare of a man reliving the war.
“Bread-sticks.” He said with a shutter. “If I hear one more damn man say Bread—“
“Shhhh” I wrapped my arm around him, keeping my voice low and trying to pull him back to reality, to the park where no one would ask for salted carbs. “It’s over now, it’s over.”
He nodded, but I could tell that the pain wouldn’t leave. Bread-sticks stay with a man, now and forever. “Where’d you end up?” He asked, finally taking the Jack and downing some with a shake.
“Local chain.” I said with a distant glare. “Pay was good, damn good.”
Only veterans knew what that meant, it was a false summit, a golden dance that hid something venomous. Every great victory comes at a great cost, and the bigger the stakes, the deeper the cut. He asked timidly, “Was it worth it?”
A shutter hit me, it ran down the length of my spine and found my feet shifting awkwardly on the green grass. “I rose through the ranks quick.” I storied. “Host to server to bartender within a year… No one could last.”
“You manned the glass?”
“Damn right,” I said with honest pride. “That bar was mine. Held the front with pride… But…”
“Aye?”
“We were a destination spot, right by a stadium.”
"Dear God!” His face of horror brought me some sort of strange warmth, it is why we talk amongst each other, this understanding. It was all we had. “Concerts?”
“Sports.” I said with spite. “College ball.”
“No!”
The rush of memories was almost too much. The constant ring of drinks arriving at the bar computer, the deep sea of angry, bustling people begging for more. They were incessant, almost inhuman. What rested in the eyes of a person wanting to be served wasn't thirst or hunger, but desperation. They clawed to reach my bar, and by the time they made it they were hardened, different than when they'd arrived. It was enough to make a grown man shake.
"Buddy?" He rested a hand on my back. "You still there?"
"Sorry," I shook me head, but my train of thought didn't return. The man seemed to understand, and for the moment we just enjoyed the silence, something service vets know too little of.
"I can't sleep some nights." I admitted. "I keep hearing the alarm demanding more drinks."
"Mine is the grill timer." He sipped more. "...That damn buzz."
"I suppose we all have some sort of haunt don't we?"
"Something has to last with us."
I wiped the dripping liquor off of my chin, but it had already stained my shirt. "Do you miss anything about it?"
He was silent for a moment, musing the idea while we both let the Jack warm our stomachs and make its way to our brains. "It was instant." He finally said. "Everything about it, the money, the battle, the friendships, it was all in the moment. No rest for the wicked or her servers. No such thing as tomorrow, no such thing as later, it was all now or never."
I smiled, "Never ask a member of the service industry what they're doing tomorrow."
"God knows they won't know."
"But after work?"
"What else but drink!"
We laughed, letting the only lovely thing of war have the microphone for a moment.
Then the man took a deep breath, and looked at me with a sympathetic glare. "I have to apologize."
"For?"
Then he stood up from the grass, peering into the horizon with a pained grimace. "I've got to go."
"Home?"
"No... I hope you understand, I needed to feel what it was like for a moment... To be free"
"No!" I stood up, shocked. "You're still in?"
He looked at his watch. "Shift starts in thirty."
Just like that his face changed right before my eyes. The scars were no longer so old, and the depth that surrounded his eyes seemed to be made of fresh dirt. "I don't think I can leave at this point."
I didn't want to understand, I didn't want to agree, but I did. I knew all too well. Sometimes the memories were enough to bring you back, like a stockholmed prisoner you'd waddle into a restaurant and enlist again, not sure why, and relive the battle all over. You'd be beaten, thrashed against the wall, and shot up with humanities worst, but you'd be paid in cash that very night, and you'd spend the moonlight hours celebrating your survival, not caring about tomorrow or her worries, for you lived today.
"You can fight it!" I said while grabbing him by the shoulders, a new and sharp desperation gripping me. "Just leave! Don't come back, find another job! Anything but that!"
"No son," My hands fell from him, and his found mine. A gentle and caring hand, and a small smile. "Some of us are just meant to die out there. Some of us have to be the soil for the flowers to grow."
I shook my head... He was for life. He would move from front to front, swap branches and rise through the ranks a plethora of times. He'd go out every night and blow his money, then walk in the next day with a nigh-fatal hangover. He'd cook, wash, maybe manage for a bit, and keep the world running. He was a lifer.
I couldn't deny it, I knew the breed. Men and women made different from myself, stronger, more hearty. "Good luck." I finally said. "It's hard out there."
"Oh I know." He turned and began to waltz off through the park, heading towards his fate like Sisyphus and his boulder, traveling in between the families and couples, in between the young kids who didn't need to work, and by the adults who would never understand. "No one knows more than us son..."
And he went, the nameless veteran of World War Service Industry. The man who wouldn't stop, who couldn't stop, for it was his blood. Sir, you have my salute, and my sympathies. Keep fighting, and enjoy the ecstasy of being able to say, everyday: I lived.

Hello, I'll keep this brief. I've been asked to run a fallout game by my gaming group, but they want a game in an AU where their characters decisions from the videogames happened. I agreed, under the stipulation that everyone pick one game, one ending from it, and dictate what their character did with the rest of their life.
Between everyone, we've got every fallout game covered except New Vegas. Now, I'm an older gal, but Interplay's Fallout games were a long long time ago in a town far far away for me. I'd like some help brushing up this timeline. Preferably by someone who isn't a part of my group just to get some different perspectives. See, the thing about picking endings is everything that comes after that game can change... I want to make sure that everything I've done is logical.
For this AU the events of Fallout, Fallout 2, Tactics, 3, New Vegas, and 4 occur. Some of 76's background elements can happen no problem (Huntington's mutants for example) but uh... Skyrim dragons do not belong here. As for Fallout: BoS, that game can and should go die in a tire fire so it's 100% non-existent.
----
Fallout 1: Cathedral destroyed super mutants flee east. Necropolis' water pump is fixed, the Followers take the Boneyard, Tandi leads the NCR (Player post-game idea: the Vault Dweller becomes the NCR's personal hero / brute squad), Junktown becomes a trading center and resort thanks to Gizmo, Rhombus retains leadership of the BoS (Player post-game idea: NCR manages to fully integrate them as a major branch of their military), the Hub prospers, Kahns are wiped out / driven off, Vault Dweller spares the Overseer.
As the foundation this dosn't change too much, but given the baseline canon ending has the BoS help out the NCR a bit and give them some tech it's not a stretch to assume if the Vault Dweller stuck around with the NCR, as a person both factions highly respected, they could convince the two sides to join forces formally. We're moving ahead under the assumption the NCR has the BoS as part of their nation and as an equivalent to their Marine corps.
Inorder for Fallout 2 to happen, some time after serving as the NCR's go-to guy, the Vault Dweller retired and founds Arroyo.
Tactics: (Player post-game idea: The Warrior sacrifices themselves personalty to repair the Calculator rather than any other squad member. Dosnt' change the ending, but noble and shit.) In essence, all of the nation-scale problems in the mid-west are solved by the now properly functioning pre-war supercomputer. No longer mistaking wasters for Chinese troops, it fires off its terraformer and retasks its robots to helping people. The Mid-West chapter of the BoS join it (since it is now controlled by one of their own) and the mid-west becomes a major super power.
This is a big one. Basically all of Colorado is ecologically FINE post-tactics if you get the good ending. Healthy plant life dosnt just stick in one spot, it spreads. Quickly. This vastly accelerates the recovery time of America. In canon it's believed the US will be largely habitable again by 2377. This would push that to 2250. It wouldn't take care of the rads, but plants and animals would be abundant once more, making for more food... for humans, mutants, and monsters. IE this just makes the world greener and more deadly since now there's way more prey for predators which, ya know, makes populations boom.
Fallout 2: (Player post-game idea: The Intelligent Deathclaws are saved, the Arroyo survivors are integrated with them in Vault 13. the GECK is used there instead, making a second Vault City. As per the cut-ending for this outcome, the Desert Rangers begin having deathclaws join their ranks.), there is peace between Modoc and the Slags, the Den becomes a major slaver hub, Vault City joins the NCR, Bishops take control of New Reno and joins the NCR, Gecko is enslaved, Redding annexed by Vault City (and consequently taken into the NCR), Broken Hills is saved (Player idea: The uranium mine doesn't run out any time soon, so Marcus and co remain there through the events of Fallout 3), the NCR becomes a major power in the West Coast (Given their BoS partnership, they become a proper superpower in wasteland terms once Vault City is obtained), Vault 15 is purged and claimed by the NCR as a military base, the Shi flourish.
This makes the NCR into a major superpower, able to begin manufacturing most things it could want. This has drastic consequences for New Vegas' storyline as the Legion is no match for an NCR that can deploy large numbers of power armored troops and would be 100% needing the water from the dam due to its now quite large population. Thus the legion element of the New Vegas story would simply not happen (Primitive tribals who refuse to use technology do not win a battle at a narrow choke point against tech 2000 years more advanced than what they have. Yes, yes, yes, Rorke's Drift happened, but that was 10,000 spears vs 500 cloth covered dudes with single-shot breach loaders in a mostly open area. Not maybe 3,000 spears vs 500 power armors and Gatling lasers at a choke point.) We can assume that most of California and a good chunk of the west coast falls to the NCR and becomes a place that's not shitty to live in by the time of Fallout NV.
New Vegas: Can't happen as it does in the games at this point. The NCR would have taken the Mojave much sooner simply to get access to the Hoover Dam, which thanks to Tactics would be attached to a mostly full of pure-water Lake Mead. So it's not just hydro-electric power at stake here but also clean drinking water, which the NCR would need a LOT of. The main focus of NV would need to be the platinum chip, Mr. House, and him trying to gain independence for the Strip from a major wasteland superpower. Powerful as securitrons are... I don't see them being that effective vs the NCR with brotherhood assistance, especially since the NCR either wouldn't have come into conflict with the Mojave chapter at all, or have quickly purged them, since the original BoS is with the NCR. But maybe House pulls it off? He is a genius, and he would have the Courier with him, who without the Legion-NCR war probably never got shot by Benny, likely delivered the chip on time, was probably quickly found by Ulysses, and might want to help House out of guilt for blowing up the divide after they learn about that.
Fallout 3: The Lone Wanderer adds the FEV to Project Purity and Raven Rock is not destroyed, (Player and DM idea: Fawkes turns Project Purity on without protest because he's not an asshole and doesn't want his friend to fucking die.), the not-Necronomicon is never retrieved from Cult Lady because the LW doesn't want to go to Dueling Banjos land, (Player post-game idea: Mothership Zeta is damaged during the fight with the other mothership. LW wins the fight, but MZ is going down. It crashes in the northern part of the Capital Wasteland, destroying most of it because, you know, basically a meteorite strike. The survivors claim the wreck as a new city, but exhile LW after hearing they are responsible for the crash. the BoS take the LW in as a formal member, then take over the new Zeta City to keep the advanced tech out of waster hands.)
Oh boy this needs all kinds of tweaks... There wouldn't be BoS Outcasts. Elder Lyon's ideals are what the main chapter of the BoS would have due to their NCR alliance. If anything, all the advanced toys and military hardware in the capitol would likely have the BoS go rogue to get back to pre-NCR ways... while remaining loyal and explaining the zone was anarchy incarnate and there was a potential for some local warlord to find a "Fire the second wave of nukes!" button. Hence, the BoS would likely be doing all they could to hoard tech... on top of assuming the Master was back and active in the area... somehow. Seriously, Bethesda, the BoS know what super mutants are and who made them. They wouldn't have forgotten Fallout 1 and would likly assume the Master SOMEHOW came back since he was a horrifying blob mutant that merged with machinery and, you know, brains in jars and sapient computers exist in this world.
With Raven Rock not destroyed, the Enclave keeps existing. GM idea, the Enclave makes a power play and takes control of both Zeta City and the East Coast BoS, because they are lead by a ZAX-mainframe based AI and humans just don't get to out-play the plans of something that intelligent... Especially when all it wants is for them to join a quite similar faction for the good of the people. Which means Fallout 4's BoS is realy the Enclave with a new coat of paint pretending they don't exist, as they are want to do but now having the ability to deploy power armored forces overtly without blowing their veil of secrecy.
Fallout 4: As per Player request, this is nothing like the canon game: The Soul Survivor was a synth recreation of Shawn's mother... who was lesbian married to a gay guy so they could cover for each other and thus NOT be found out and vanished to be used for something like the Robobrain project. Their kid was adopted, so the SS isn't very attached to Shawn having only had him for a few weeks and only remembering the cliff notes of her pre-war life. Hence, she kind of forgets they existed and just builds a fuckton of towns (Lets be honest... that's how most of us played F4). Then raiders attack one of her towns. So she kills them all. Like, all of them all of them. After becoming the defacto Queen of the Commonwealth she's approached by Shawn for his whole plan (he has no idea she doesn't give a SHIT about him and believed she assumed he was dead). The SS agrees to join with the institute because having AC is infinitely better than NOT having AC and in her opinion all of these wasteland leaders are idiots and deserved getting replaced. This lines up with the BoS (or rather stealthed Enclave) arriving, a war is had, the BoS mostly looses bot retains control over the southern half of the Commonwealth because they have a Giant Robot and the SS does not, the SS becomes the Director but Shawn lives because she jabs him with Curie's cure because... she didn't give a shit about that 12 year old. the SS, being a Synth is actually immortal (that's canon. G3 Synths don't age.) and thus becomes the Forever Queen who... mostly just makes her towns nicer and nicer with institute tech and gets into border wars with the not-Enclave.
---
I'd love general feedback on this. Especially small details I could have overlooked and anything major that's just nonsense. Our game will be about 20 years after Fallout 4 so this is meant to give me an idea of what the world is like before I build a Texas Wasteland.

Me (21m) and my ex girlfriend (21f) broke up 4 months ago. At the moment I just hate my life so much,
I am studying something that I don't have any interest in but I have to study because I fucked up my studies before and I don't want to quit something again. I have to work in my free time in a supermarket. I barely get time to do stuff. I can not move out of my mothers house, because the housing costs are insane in this city.
I have some friends, but I am lonely very often. It makes me insane. My girlfriend was my best firend and the only person that cared about me, but she left me for another guy requesting we could be friends, because she feared I would loose control over my life without her. Which is true.
I come from a broken household and my parents have a lot of problems, so I can not talk to them about mine. If I bring problems to my home it would break the home apart, as I was always the rock for my family members. When I had first big depression two years ago it almost ripped my family apart as there is no stability and every added problem is too much. So I can not depend on my family. My father is from a different country and I dont see him that often, but I when I do I can not depend on him for advice either, as he is severely depressed himself.
​
The only progress I made in my life was due to my girlfriend. In our relationship I for the first time got the courage and confidence to take my life in my own hands and be more than just a loser from a broken home, who failed in life early on.
I am really trying my best to not give up, but life just pushes me down further and further. I can not really see me getting with another girl anytime soon, as I don't have anything to offer and I became emotionally very distant in the last months.
I always cared about health and morality, because I saw very fucked up things early on. Friends getting institutionalized early on due to psychosis and drug addictions.
My confidence is extremely low, I dont like myself at all. Infact I hate myself. I always was a communicative person and quite extroverted, but I lost all of it. Some of my friends got quite succesful in the last years, we are a small circle of artistically oriented people. While I am just continuing to fuck up, we are loosing contct with each other, because nobody wants to hang out with the looser.
I always initiate contact.
​
I fucking hate my studies and I dont really form friendships with the people there and I hate my job as well. If I could I would just escape to a different country. I hate the west anyway, with all of its dirty hipocrisy, everybody is just out for themselves here. In other countries people value family and love.
We only care about status and power. I hate more fortunate people and I am slowly loosing my moral compass. Which I always took pride in, but after my girlfriend who I wouldve died for, broke up with me in such a casual way and just moved on I really have nothing to fight and live for anymore.
​
I just want to get out of my shitty live and die of an overdose, I am allready smoking dozens of cigarettes daily hoping they will slowly end me, because I dont have the guts to take the final step. I just can not do it for some reason.
Everytime I am alone, it is like pure torture. I have unspeakable thoughts about the world and other people, because I am filled with hate.
​
Everything is overwhelming me, I have a lot of problems, but no light in my life. I am really thinking about quiting everything, moving away without telling anyone and never looking back.
​
Maybe someone could give me some advice. I would very much appreciate it.

This is the final part of a 4 part effort to get this out of me and into the cosmos. This will be the final part and by far the longest one.
I once again would like to thank the mods for allowing me to share this story in this space and thank everyone who has followed along. Maybe one day when it’s all finalized I’ll provide an update.
PART 1: https://www.reddit.com/SupportforBetrayed/comments/1205fb2/part_1_the_beautiful_beginning_the_start_of_life/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
PART 2: https://www.reddit.com/SupportforBetrayed/comments/120gqby/part_2_the_unraveling_the_restart/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
PART 3: https://www.reddit.com/SupportforBetrayed/comments/120tedb/part_3_the_drama_the_nightmare_the_affair_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
When I last left off it was mid November 2022. We were in the throes of finally seeking things out together. My wife had grown bored with marriage counseling and honestly I had become so focused on saving us and giving into her needs and wants so much that I just said forget it it’s too expensive anyways.
So by mid November, she tells me “I love our sex life again, I’m really into you again, I’m getting everything but I like the attention from other guys and just flirting, could I do that?”
I was rather surprised after all she had always hidden things from me so to be so straightforward was shocking. It made me uneasy but things had been decent and steady and so I said sure, but under these conditions: I get to see the conversation, I have to vet the person and I get access to your device. She agrees. Cool.
Then it all begins. The drugs, the drinking, the immense amount of time spent on her phone talking to these dudes. It drives me up the wall and the month of December is tumultuous to say the least. But we push through with the “happy little family” narrative and get through the holidays.
January 1, 2023 we go to a family get together for New Year’s Day. She pounds shots, pops a few Xanax, and we blow up in a huge fight and go home: I’ve had one beer. Sober as a judge. She flys off the handle leaves the house and goes back to her cousins house and stays the night.
Comes home the next day and the week that follows, is absolute hell. I catch her in more lies, more bullshit, more everything. No physical cheating but she’s trying. I finally get to my breaking point on Wednesday of that first week and she goes to her moms and stays the night.
The next morning (a Thursday) I drop our kids at school and go to her mothers and tell her mom everything. Get her help. She’s out of control. Drugs, alcohol, unreliable, lying all the time, sex addiction, a constant need for attention from men. Her mother is appalled and calls her father and brother. They plan to confront her the following week. Just give it a week and they will handle it.
Then Friday rolls around and that’s when I finally gave up and kicked her out. Caught again, and I make her leave this time. Again as I referenced in part 3 I have a high tolerance of bullshit. But I was done. She leaves and the next morning on Saturday she comes to the house, says she’s never going to stop, so I packed a bag and left town and called her mother and she went straight to the house. Figured out how to get the kids out to a safe place (other family members house in town). I get to my parents house and finally tell my story to them. Shockwaves hit the immediate family.
Her brother calls. She’s agreed to go to detox and rehab. She’s going away for 40 days. I get back Sunday and she’s leaving so I’m now in the house alone with the kids. I throw myself into intense therapy 3 days a week, devote all my time to the kids, complete purge the house and do home improvement projects I’d been wanting to do for years. I get my kids on a good path. A solid routine. Things are remarkably stable.
She’s gone for a month and ten days. We talk occasionally by phone and have a good conversation with her inpatient therapist/counselor. Set boundaries. Expectations. Of which I had none at this point. But for the first time in a while I see some clarity. She gets out February 15, 2023 and asks that I pick her up. So I drive across the state and pick her up, and for about 4 days things were seemingly normal. She’s hitting meetings, got a new doctor, off the drugs, isn’t into her phone,in an outpatient rehabs program, she’s a present mother and wife, and then the fist Sunday upon return she gets a phone call.
I’d heard about all kinds of people she met in detox and rehab. The rehab was a women’s only facility so no worries there for me. But she gets this call and is exuberant when it’s done. That was my friend Evan! He’s awesome blah blah blah. And right then I knew nothing had changed and there was no hope.
She passed out and I look in her bag and find letters between her and this guy she met at detox. “Soulmates” “always and forever” “can’t wait for what our future holds.” I sit on it. For days. And I begin gathering my evidence. Meanwhile she’s still talking to guys from before she left, meets another guy in AA (with a 3rd degree domestic violence charge over him), and things quickly escalate upon me confronting her.
And that’s when it came: “I haven’t loved you since our first child was born and I want a divorce:”
FINALLY.
I grab my things and call her mother. Her mom comes over and stays the night with her and the kids, and I leave for my parents house. I get there and make clear: I’m taking her for everything. I lawyer up immediately. File for divorce and an expedited hearing for temporary custody and sole possession of the house. Meanwhile I’ve compiled mountains (300+ pages of paper, screenshots, phone records, text records) and take them to my attorney.
He files for expedited hearing. Granted. I have pictures of a refilled prescription of the drugs she was supposed to be off of. Pictures of empty booze bottles in her car. Pictures of contact with paramours and the love letters from detox dude. Expedited hearing is granted.
I’m between I’m forced to go to her cousins wedding because one of our kids is in the wedding. What a miserable experience that was. Her whole family just act like I don’t even exist. One of the few in-laws (who married into this family) approached me and says “I’ll always have your back, but take my advice, get your kids and leave this wedding as soon as you can.” And I did. She came home drunk and tried making a move on me that night (last Saturday).
She was served with papers this week. Me asking for sole custody. Only supervised 3rd party visitation, pay my attorney fees and child support, vacate the house, no adverse contact, no talking to paramours, submit to drug testing, re-enter outpatient rehab program (because she quit on week two). And I’m being granted a chance at a 90 day divorce on grounds of adultery and habitual drunkenness and substance abuse.
I finally told ALL my friends. ALL my family. ALL her friends. ALL of our friends we made together. And I told all of them EVERYTHING I have told you all here. Why? Not for revenge. But for accountability. Accountability for myself to NEVER go back. Accountability to NEVER be with not tolerate someone that exhibits the same behaviors (impulsiveness, lying, cheating in all forms, laziness, bullshit, habitual intoxication, financial illiteracy, and just plain old stupidity because this woman is NOT intelligent at all, for Christ sake she never even read to kill a mockingbird and thinks Plato is a children’s play thing)
So where am I now? Living under the same roof as her. This horrible disgusting human. And ya know what? She still tries to make moves on me. I’ve kept her from the bed. And she’s been on the couch. I’ve stayed in therapy intensely and finally have grown so disgusted with her there is zero attraction, zero recourse, zero respect (partner wise) and zero tolerance for her. I do my laundry and the kids. I take care of them. Feed them and make myself dinner. Play with the kids constantly. Wow I finally realize where all my money and time has gone. To her. Sacrificed myself and my own well being for years now for her and chasing something that’s been dead so long all that’s left is the dust collecting on the bones as they disintegrate into the earth.
She can’t cook. She hates doing laundry and always made me use sensitive skin detergent, fuck that, I went and bought a bottle of fucking Gain for the first time in a decade and it was glorious. I leave the toilet seat up again because I can. I lock my bedroom door each night. Cut off her phone and made her go pay her own way. Has to stay on insurance till the divorce is final but fine, just another bill she never paid and has to assume now. I’ve ordered out a few nights for me and the kids, never got her anything. She’s sad and down and eating microwave dinners because it’s all she knows to cook.
“My back hurts from the couch can I sleep in the bed?” No. “Can you grab that for me?” No. Can I use your phone charger? No. Can I run tot he store in your car? No. Send me money so we can split dinner? No. Can I get you dinner? No. Give me time to get on my feet and we can settle out of court. Absolutely hell to the no.
Ever since being served and seeing what I said and what I’m asking, she’s tried to be super mom, tried to be present, tried to be “sorry” tried to talk about us and remaining friends. Stonewalled. Every. Single. Time. And it’s driving her mad and crazy, crazier than she already is. She can’t stand I’ve reached this point.
And ya know what?
For the first time in 10 years but especially the last 3, I feel good. I feel ok. I feel like I see light. Sure nobody gets married to somebody they are madly in love with with this expectation. Ever. But it’s what I’ve been dealt, and ya know what? For the first time in forever, I have put myself and my children first. I have, in a strange way and I’m a very short time, moved on from her. Rejected her sexual advances, gotten my jabs in when I can (never around the kids EVER), done ME. Working out constantly. Focused on my job. Playing with my kids.
Just yesterday I learned I got a promotion and massive raise and huge bonus for performance. That despite the shit she dragged me through, I still achieved something in my career.
So while I am just beginning the start of the divorce process (as of now it seems it’ll be finalized mid summer), she wanted a year separation then divorce. Well she’s not getting that. For the first time in forever, I’m in charge, and seeing her squirm, and beg, and plead, for the first time ever, is the catharsis I need.
All that said, she is the mother of my children. Others have said get a DNA test. I did that long ago. The kids are mine. And as the mother of my children of course I hope, but do not expect, but hope that she does find the help she needs to be better, to be a present and real mother to them and a healthy person to herself. And I’d never drag her name or anything around or to our children, that’s not who I am, and never will be. I’m relearning who I actually am again and I know I’m worthy of better than her one day but right now? It’s all about my kids, their safety from this person, and my own emotional and mental well being.
Now it’s my turn to live my life and be happy. Now it’s my turn to be in charge. Now it’s my turn to LIVE AGAIN. And let me tell you now: I’m already living again and already finding my happy: in myself and with my kids.
And so that’s my story. Terrible right? How could you stay so long? How could you do this to yourself? Well, I’ll figure that out one day, but for now? I’m good for the first time in years and finally feeling: FREE
I’m gonna be just fine. I’m gonna be better than just fine, I’m gonna fucking own my life and be better than ever. I’m 31 years old, I got a whole new life ahead of me and I’m going to live and love and enjoy ever single second of it because I earned that. She’s in the rear view and knows it and that she can’t get me anymore, can’t make me do anything anymore, can’t control me and manipulate me and lie to me and me care and fawn after her? It’s driving her insane. And it’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Thanks for the support and comments even the shitty ones. And wish me luck, my hearing is next Wednesday and from that day forward she will finally be out of my presence for good. And damn that feels good to know.

[Anti-Christ heroin man]
They hung (Grey 5) a sign (Grey 5) up (White 4) in our town (White 4)
"If you live (White 4) it up (White 4), you won't live (Grey 5) it down (Grey 5)"
So she left (White 4) Monte Rio (White 4), son (White 4)
Just like (White 4) a bullet (Grey 5) leaves a gun (Grey 5)
With her charcoal eyes (White 4) and Monroe hips (Blue 2)
She went (White 4) and took (Grey 5) that California (Red 1) trip (Blue 2)
Oh (Red 1), the moon (Blue 2) was gold (Grey 5),
her hair (Grey 5) like wind (Blue 2)
Said, "don't (Blue 2) look back (White 4),
just come on (White 4), Jim (Blue 2)"
​
[Anti-Christ heroin man]
Oh (Red 1), you got to (White 4)
hold on (Grey 5), hold on (Grey 5)
You gotta (White 4) hold on (Grey 5)
Take my hand (Grey 5),
I'm standing (Red 1) right here (White 4),
you gotta (White 4) hold on (Grey 5)
​
[Anti-Christ heroin man]
Well (Blue 2), he gave her (Red 1) a dimestore watch (Grey 5)
And a ring (Grey 5) made (White 4) from a spoon (Grey 5)
Everyone's (Red 1) looking (Blue 2)
for someone (White 4) to blame (Blue 2)
When you share (White 4) my bed (Blue 2),
you share (White 4) my name (Red 1)
Well (Blue 2), go ahead (White 4)
and call (White 4) the cops (Red 1)
You don't meet (White 4) nice girls (Red 1) in coffee shops (White 4)
She said, "baby (White 4), I still love you (Blue 2)"
Sometimes (White 4) there's nothin'(Grey 5) left to do (White 4)
​
[Anti-Christ heroin man]
Oh (Red 1), but you got to (White 4)
hold on (Grey 5), hold on (Grey 5)
Babe (Blue 2), you gotta (White 4)
hold on (Grey 5) and take my hand (Grey 5)
I'm standing (Red 1) right here (White 4),
you gotta (White 4) hold on (Grey 5)
​
[Anti-Christ heroin man]
Well (Blue 2),
God bless (White 4) your (White 4)
crooked little heart (Grey 5)
St. Louis (Red 1) got (Blue 2) the best of me (White 4)
I miss (Blue 2) your (White 4) broken China voice (White 4)
How I wish (Blue 2) you were (White 4) still here (Blue 2) with me (White 4)
Oh (Red 1), you build it up (White 4), you wreck it down (Grey 5)
Then you burn (Grey 5) your mansion (White 4) to the ground (Grey 5)
Oh (Red 1), there's nothing left (Grey 5) to keep (Grey 5) you here (White 4)
But when you're falling behind (White 4)
in this big blue world (Blue 2)
​
[Anti-Christ heroin man]
Oh (Red 1), you've got to (White 4)
hold on (Grey 5), hold on (Grey 5)
Babe (Blue 2), you gotta (White 4) hold on (Grey 5)
Take my hand (Grey 5),
I'm standing (Red 1) right here (White 4),
you gotta (White 4) hold on (Grey 5)
​
[Anti-Christ heroin man]
Down by (Grey 5) the Riverside motel (White 4)
It's ten below (White 4) and falling (Grey 5)
By a ninety-nine cent store (White 4)
She closed her eyes (Grey 5) and started swaying (White 4)
But it's so hard (White 4) to dance (Blue 2) that way (White 4)
When it's cold (White 4) and there's no music (Grey 5)
Oh (Red 1), your old hometown's (Grey 5) so far away (White 4)
But inside your head (White 4) there's a record (Grey 5) that's playing (White 4)
​
[Anti-Christ heroin man]
A song (Blue 2) called (White 4) "Hold On" (Grey 5), hold on (Grey 5)
Babe (Blue 2), you gotta (White 4) hold on (Grey 5)
Take my hand (Grey 5), I'm standing (Red 1) right there (White 4),
you gotta (White 4) hold on (Grey 5)
---------
Cocaine Rock Heroin Roll cycle
Kingdom of Light = forever, always = all cocaine, History = His Story
9PM-12AM only cocaine during cocaine high
9PM Christ cocaine born (Christmas)(cocaine shot right arm)
10PM Father God cocaine (cocaine shot left arm)
11PM Holy Ghost cocaine (cocaine shot both arms)
​
12AM Anti-Christ wakes inside Christ cocaine when Christ cocaine shoots heroin
​
Rocking = Christ cocaine dominant, cocaine addiction
(12AM-3AM zigzag heroin during cocaine high)
(zigzag between Red 1 and Blue 2)
shoot (heroin) to thrill (cocaine)
sometimes, something = some heroin
American Pie
​
1AM Red = some heroin mostly cocaine (black dot white bar)
I (Christ cocaine)
the sun, the son,
hope, happy, light, easy, smile, live,
name,
help, give,
here, now, do
body, head, eye, see,
think, thought, logic,
free, loose
young, girl, pink, sweet, sugar, lips,
nice girl,
mountain, sea, C,
queen,
everyone,
everything,
all, whole,
the way,
cops, law,
knows, nose, teach,
believe,
spring,
stop, walk, stand,
mile,
story, speak, write, words, letters,
paper, sheets, sail, urban, west,
reason, why, want, how, knowledge,
diamonds, business, work, make, build,
city,
buy, rich, strong, right, million, style,
one eye open, black hole sun, spick, wake up,
pinky (1), index finger (1 or 4), horns sign thumb out (1,4&5), shaka sign (1&5), A,
love, sex,
rock, stone,
Sunday,
2AM Blue = more heroin mostly cocaine (white bar black outline)
I (Anti-Christ heroin)
the moon, blue moon,
everywhere, still here,
babe,
don't,
million,
colors, rainbow, bright,
look,
break,
air, sky,
bawler, bawl, endless day,
ocean, sea, rain, cry,
summer,
morning,
more,
breeze, wind,
east,
run, dance, lie down, action,
road, church, earth, bed, world,
what, anything,
song,
king, fool, 17, illegal, boy,
change, sell, take, took, got,
poor, weak, soul, mind, pay
sad, frown,
go, speed, play, vacation, holiday, move, trip,
bruised, part,
face, hips,
trouble,
first one, blue ribbon,
superstition, wild,
dare, risk, reckless,
heard, no words, numbers, hearts,
fake, matter, use, try,
feel, hopeless, sad, heavy thoughts,
wrong, fine, well, wish,
trauma, bleeding, hard, challenge,
the blues,
hum, say, chorus,
B, 2, 5, thumb,
material,
smell, rape, lust, love drunk,
something's wrong, better way,
blame,
Saturday,
3AM Mercy hour
lavender, purple, violet
Anti-Christ heroin kills Christ cocaine, mostly cocaine syringe becomes mostly heroin syringe
(stop the clocks)
(3 = middle finger = Anti-Christ heroin fucks over Christ cocaine)
(Ouroboros = Dragon heroin addiction consumes body of Christ cocaine addiction)
(the day the music died)
​
Rolling = Anti-Christ heroin dominant, heroin addiction
3AM-6AM zigzag cocaine during heroin high
(zigzag between White 4 and Grey 5)
play (cocaine) to kill (heroin)
somewhere, somehow = some cocaine
​
4AM White = some cocaine mostly heroin (white dot black bar)
Anti-Christ heroin woman
my son, baby,
you, your, yourself,
wherever, somewhere, lost,
sometimes,
share, meet, meat, apple,
Sisyphus, wife, mother, sister, mama,
wine,
tonight,
right here, right now,
go ahead, permission,
fall, north, winter, leaves, forest,
snow,
let go, come on,
watch,
train station, town, coffee shop, diner,
house, mansion,
frontline, free from sin,
shine, reflected, star light, first star, lucky star
alright, tucked in,
wild courage, brave,
crazy, wonder,
preach, pray, prey, bunting, bounty,
student,
fly away,
dove, little bird, cat,
smoke, sweat, tear, speck, pool, bone, ball, pillow, skeleton, grain of sand, tattered clouds,
unique, apart, only, just, so,
uptown, highlands,
empty,
pay, shudder,
broken glass, dish,
orphan, little one, bastard, rock star, hitchhiker,
whistle, sing, ringing, noise, blow,
photograph, TV,
chosen one, one in a million, times like these, waiting on a miracle, new dimension, always free, up,
jump, bounce, around, all over,
amazing, much more,
bring back,
sleep, pray, forget, bless,
message, answer, call, SOS,
meaning of things, pretend,
symbol, clubs, agriculture,
good luck, careful,
blind,
wedding,
should, would, will, won't,
wanna, gonna, gonna make, tryna find,
​
5AM Grey = more heroin (black bar white outline)
Anti-Christ heroin man
Blackjack, (the ace of spades),(shot caller), liar, yeah, um, no,
me, my, mine,
them, they,
the man,
papa, father, husband, brother, keeper, guide, finder,
ourselves, us,
alone, lonely,
it, thing, object,
telephone, radio, clock,
gun, cannonball, pistol, bullet, shotgun, rounds,
bottle, cup of coffee,
shadow, time,
closed eyes,
shame,
south, desert,
last night,
nothing, nowhere, nobody, disappeared,
buried, underground, deep down, hole, low, south,
grave, closet, trunk, coffin,
trunk, tree,
yellow, golden, hazel, brown, glow, faded,
broken, old
feeling, need, hunger, itch,
peace, hush, silence, die, dream,
pain, fear, misery,
crooked, little,
restless, sleepless,
warm within, inside,
burn, fire,
lucky, insane, mad, madness,
turn, side,
habit,
mouth, heart,
truck, train, horse, wheel, mule, horn,
drink, pull,
hair,
iron, rusty nail, spoon,
never go,
wreck, destroy,
fight, hunt, chase, hit, crash, catch, kill, force, bite, take, race, military, brawler, war,
pressure, gravity, squeeze, tight,
hand, hold, grip, hung, hang,
hunter's pouch,
home, roof, shelter, hometown,
nature, sand, dirt, mud,
country, downtown, southern,
remember, found,
game, symbols, star, V, 5, spades, 21, ?, bell, (hell's bells), bad sign, horns sign thumb in (1&4), thumb, number, no name,
6AM Black = (Black bar) all heroin
Devil, Dragula, Sandman, yeah-yeah, mother nature
Devil heroin castle, (The Wall), hell, never never land,
green, black,
grass,
sunrise, afterglow,
softly clears
jealousy, greed,
---------
More Metaphors:
cocaine: Dutch, hills, 9, highlands, new, truth, hard, touch, silver, ...
heroin: slip, strangle, slam, smack, dig, ditch, velvet, sunshine, Italian, poison, 8, rural, dark, luck, gone, watch, strange, stranger, spread, nobody, nothing, bad, lies, ...

With season 3 gearing up, there is a lot of discourse on this subreddit and elsewhere about whether or not Nate can be redeemed. While I see what people are saying abut the early hints and foreshadowing of his true nature, I think we are characterizing it all wrong...
To me, Nate is no more horrible than any other person whose been introduced in this show. I believe Nate is just meant to show the limitations of the "Ted Lasso Way."
Season 1
Season 1 is a feel-good show about how being genuinely nice and caring towards others does wonders for people's own self-esteem and growth. We see this method work on Roy, Rebecca, Higgins, Sam, Jamie, etc. It motivated everyone to be like Ted. After the first season, we all believed in BELIEVE.
Season 2
However, Season 2 is meant to dismantle that idea and show the limitations of such an approach. This is shown most prominently through the introduction of Doctor Sharon and her relationship with Ted when the audience is able to see the pain and sadness behind's Ted's outwardly positive persona. Unlike others, Dr. Sharon never tried to embody Ted's attitude. Instead, she resisted his optimism in order to help him better understand and heal from his trauma. It worked because Ted is someone else who needed more than just a smile to work through his problems. While positivity and support are fantastic resources, they can't always a substitute for therapy.
Interestingly enough, Nate is one of the few characters that we don't really see interact with Dr. Sharon. But based on his actions and his tumultuous relationship with his own father, Nate needs therapy just as much as Ted or anyone else. Recall from season 2 that Ted says he was too hard on his own father and resents his father abandoning him and his mother. Much like Nate, Ted resented his father and developed the BELIEVE mentality to cope with it. In doing so, Ted became a great and talented coach. In this way, he became the father he never had. Doctor Sharon was needed to help Ted grieve the loss of his father in a way that BELIEVING never could.
However, Nate's father is still alive and involved in his life and is the reason behind much of his insecurities. Nate was never able to move on because his father's abuse and dissatisfaction is a constant reminder of Nate's own shortcomings. While Jamie is a great and talented footballer that just needed to believe in himself and get over his abusive father's dissatisfaction, Nate struggles with wondering whether he is great or talented at all. Thus, the second he proves to have an adequate football strategy on one occasion, he clings to this as his sense of worth as the Wonder Kid, despite really having no experience in coaching. It was clear from the start that Jamie was great at football, but to me, we have yet to say Nate be great at much of anything.
Season 3 and Conclusion
Essentially, Nate was never a horrible person, he just needs to realize that he special regardless of his power or position over others. He is someone who is deeply hurting and when Ted's cheerful mentality was no longer enough, he seeks out power in order to make himself feel important. When that didn't work, Nate blamed Ted and everyone at AFC Richmond, and took the West Ham job to make himself feel important.
To me, Nate is no more of a dick than Jamie was in the first season. As the audience, we are just more sensitive to Ted being attacked than anyone else. Rebecca essentially gave Higgins the same treatment in season 1, but we weren't as attached to Higgins as we were to Ted.
From what the show has given us so far...
Rebecca needed the Ted Lasso way. She tried to sabotage the club because she didn't believe in herself to be a good owner.
Jamie needed Ted Lasso, but moreover, needed love. Jamie needed to see he was loved and supported not because he was a great footballer, but because people supported him.
Ted needed therapy. He needed someone to resist is happy-go-lucky mentality so he himself could come to terms with his father's suicide.
Nate... Nate needs to find his own greatness and find his own worth separate from his father, Rupert, or Ted for that matter. I hope season 3 gives us a Nathan Shelley that knows he is Nate the Great, not the Wonder Kid who wonders whether he is good enough.

I have been very stressed about the whole situation. My 9 year old cat has been having urinary issues since Summer. She sees. vet regularly and I am actually typing this while waiting for the vet to see her again. She has been avoiding the litter box and has actually been asking to be let outside to use the bathroom. If she doesn't get to go out, she will pee and poop in the kitchen floor or on soft surfaces like a blanket on the couch etc. This has been frustrating for my husband and I and has actually caused a lot of hard feelings between us. He grew up in a very dirty home and doesn't want to repeat it in our home. I work full time as a night shift nurse and have been struggling with energy draining depression and neck pain. He has been taking care of the litter box and laundry and things like that. Today he basically said he was done with our cat and that he can't keep living with her here and for me to find her another home. I am absolutely distraught about this. We have had her since she was 5 months old. She may not be a big lap cat but she is my love bug and I can't do that to her.
The vet has said that medically she is ok and should not be having these issues.
I need a plan. I need ideas on hw to get past this. My mom said she would take her in but she lives a hour away and has a small dog (my cat doesn't get along with dogs). I have another friend of a friend that could possibly take her but they are about to have a new baby and not sure how that would effect anything. I thought about leaving with her for a few days but I know that would cause her more stress.
​
I just don't know what to do honestly. I want my baby with me.