Jeep wrangler not blowing hot air

​
Hi everyone! This is a complete English translation of the Aniara sequel book by Harry Martinson called Doriderna that was put together after the author died. This translation was put together using various translation programs that can be found online, so I can't guarantee that it is a perfect translation, but it's better than nothing. I will also post the original in Swedish so you can improve the translation or look up words etc. if you want. Hope you enjoy!
I would also like to let everyone know that I am also working on my own Aniara fan fiction short story that I call "The Lost Voices of Aniara". This story tells about the events aboard the Aniara from the view point of another passenger and attempts to add more details to the story. It should be ready in the next week or two.
​
HARRY MARTINSON
The Dorides (Doriderna)
Remaining poems and prose pieces in selection and with preface by Tord Hall Albert Bonniers Förlag
​
PREFACE
For reasons I will not go into here, Harry Martinson did not publish any new work in the last years of his life. There is therefore a very large literary legacy, the publication of which began in the fall of 1978 with "Längs ekots stigar" (Along the paths of the echo), published by Georg Svensson. This collection contains only a few purely scientific poems - the emphasis is on nature poetry. The selection was made from unpublished material - which had nevertheless reached the proof stage - in three previous collections.
It remains to address other lines of thought in Harry Martinson's work: the ideas in Aniara, which in various forms occupied his imagination until the end. To follow the continuation of this great theme - at least in part - is what I am trying to do in this second selection from the surviving archive.
​
The 103 songs in Aniara were part of a larger set of poems, and the author then worked for several years on a sequel, to be called 'The Dorids', the people of the tribe of Doris. Around 1959 there were about 80 songs - most of them in more or less completed drafts. The dominant figure in the Dorids would not be Isagel or the Mimarobe, but Nobia, the Samaritan from the tundra planet and deportation site of Mars. Nobia would be a norna (fate goddess), though not a cruel goddess of fate, but a norna who weaves goodness into the fabric of the world.
But the whole project remained a large-scale endeavor. The reasons were many: illness, world events, which seemed to be moving towards a fulfillment of the prophecies in Aniara, and which gave him an increasingly dark view of life: he told me that "Aniara has become a neurosis" ... I feel like Mima being blown apart'. But the decisive reason was surely his demand for absolute freedom in his creativity. He did not want to be confined, and the result was, as he himself said, 'I have stepped out of Aniara'.
The fact that Harry Martinson stepped out of Aniara, and thus also out of the Dorides, does not at all mean that he left the motifs or ideas found there, which cover the scientific field from atoms to stars. Rather, it means that he was able to write without direct connection to the characters of Aniara and the Dorides in particular.
I have therefore considered it justified to call this entire collection the Dorides, even though the prose pieces and several poems do not have a clearly visible connection with such a title.
In order to comment briefly on the selection, I would like to say a few words about Harry Martinson's attitude towards modern science (it is my intention to return to this subject in more detail).
There are two main lines. One is deterministic, and has its roots in classical physics, founded by Newton, which dominated until the end of the 19th century. It has a philosophical form in the law of causation, which means that if you know enough facts about a certain course of events in the present and in the past, you can precisely specify the course of events in the future. Examples of such events in the 'big world' - the macrocosm - are solar and lunar eclipses.
But in the world of atoms - the microcosm - this determinism does not apply. Heisenberg demonstrated this through his uncertainty relation, also known as the indeterminacy principle. In the atoms, individual events are indeterminate, we cannot discern any causality - there is randomness. But chance can be mastered by the methods of statistics, and we must content ourselves with a "statistical causality", which describes the course of events in the atom with the highest possible degree of probability.
It is this second, indeterministic line that has long been followed by most physicists. But there is one major exception, and that is Einstein. At the 1927 meeting of physicists in Brussels, for example, he asked Bohr, Heisenberg and others with mild irony whether they really believed that God plays dice - "ob der liebe Gott würfelt". Einstein was convinced that the universe follows an ordering principle, a geometric structure, which can be called a world soul. This is a pantheistic view that is reminiscent of Spinoza.
Similar ideas are already present in Aniara, but in this selection the picture has become more sharply defined. Harry Martinson does not believe that chance plays a decisive role in the course of the world, as is clear from several poems and prose pieces. He believes more in Einstein than in dozens of other Nobel Prize winners. Apart from these authorities, he follows his intuition.
His approach to religion has often been quoted: he chooses the Riddler over the God. This belief is reflected in 'The Riddle'. In 'Poems on Light and Darkness', published in 1971, Harry Martinson, with 'The Inner Light' and 'The Bird in the Phoenix Bell', presents the events inside the atom itself. These poems show that - although 'Aniara' and 'The Dorides' are more about stars than atoms - he never lost his interest in the microcosm. In this selection, it is the atoms that are more interesting than the stars.
The bard enters the atom. He describes the course of events in a world which is completely beyond our senses and which, despite the enormous aids of science, we will probably never be able to understand exactly. The story itself probably comes from Gamow's book "Mr. Tompkins Explores the Atom". Published in Swedish translation in 1946, it is, along with "Mr. Tompkins in Wonderland" (also 1946), the versatile Gamow's best popular science books. Harry Martinson rated them highly.
The two poems 'Submerged as in a dream but still awake' and 'Actually, the comprehensibility was slight' depict a journey of thought into the atom, and the same motif recurs in several other places.
The poem "A Cosmic Thickness Lying Boundlessly Spread" poetically depicts a world development related to the hypothesis of the "stationary universe" put forward by Hoyle and others, and to Klein-Alfvén's "symmetrical cosmology". For several reasons - mainly aesthetic - Harry Martinson did not like the theory of 'the big bang', which was celebrated by most scientists. His poem should have been written quite a long time ago, and perhaps he would have changed his mind if he had been given the opportunity to understand what the "cosmic background radiation" - with a temperature of about 3 degrees above absolute zero - means for the credibility of "The big bang". It took natural scientists some time to become convinced that this radiation can best be interpreted as a fading glow after an unimaginable cosmic explosion some 18 billion years ago.
This selection also contains several pieces of prose, which in general do not need any comment. But I would like to mention a few. For "The Figuration Patterns of the Goddancer's Juggling Program", in three sections, there is a drawing by Harry Martinson, reproduced on the cover of this collection. The spread comes from Hindu philosophy: we see 'Siwa's juggling dance before Brama'. The dominant curves are so-called lemniscates, which were already known to the ancient Greeks. The lemniscate looks like an eight and is the mathematical symbol for infinity. It is defined as the trajectory of a point under the condition that the product of its distances to two given points is constant. In the center of the drawing there are several small curves. They are ellipses, and an ellipse - also first studied by the Greeks - is defined as the trajectory of a point under the condition that the sum of its distances to two given points is constant. The result is a geometric pattern, similar to a flower, which at the same time provides a poetic image of the complex interplay of forces in the atom with outward and inward energy impulses The juggler finds it increasingly difficult to work with his ball-particles as he progresses through the periodic table of the elements. In the end, he "dances the spectral theme in the dance of the Phoenix" - a symbol of the indestructibility of both energy and poetry, and a recurring motif in Martinson's poetry.
"Delsaga om tidens ariadnetråd" (Part of the saga of the Ariadne thread of time) is almost a fantasy about four-dimensional space, where you have to be careful not to get on the wrong track. The selection of prose pieces ends with "Some fairies dancing in the summer night near a quiet lake". It is a cheerful tale where the author combines a love of the Swedish summer with a love of light.
​
I made this selection at the direct request of Harry. He even said several times that I should have all his scientific poems and prose pieces. But I think I judged this offer correctly when I saw it as an expression of his great generosity towards his friends. I always replied that he himself should complete and select what was to be published. But in his last years he did not want to publish anything. I therefore promised to make a selection if he did not change his mind.
​
He did not, and this collection is the result.
Finally, I would like to thank Ingrid Martinson and Georg Svensson for the understanding and assistance they have given me in bringing this selection to fruition.
​
Tord Hall
​
​
The Dorides (Doriderna)
The book you hold was written in Mima's hall.
Now, on a secret wavelength, it is sent home to you, my friend, who for some years inhabits a spherical beach called the Valley of Doris.
In other words, it was written so close to your own being that nothing could be closer to you than those described here. You are one of them.
​
Over the graves, the indifferent wind spreads
the whisper of the immortal gods
that no loss is foreseen in the grand scheme of things.
But what do the gods - those wasteful billionaires of the heavens - know about the beautiful and wonderful Doris?
how she was worth saving forever
and that whoever loved her
can never be comforted by the gods' continued waste.
About her a bird sings now alone in the tree of the grave. Of her as she was, the glorious one, if no other, the Dorides' thrush sings.
​
The window was full of stars,
The Leonids' swarm of stars came, then you know the time.
Autumn was gone, its yellowing burnt.
The lookout tower, closed on the wooded mountains.
I stood as a child of a time that saw the stars detach from the roofs towards a room where novas frightened a more distant valley, I found other myths than those I was used to picking hurled at me from the space of the Leonids.
I stood in the cathedral of fear of dreams.
The great copper woman who lay there with her back soldered to the lid of the sarcophagus drove horror into me, cast my foot with lead.
That the copper woman knew who I was, I immediately sensed as a deadly weight, and that I had been summoned here by herself, by the queen of copper, of that I was certain.
In empty benches sat forgotten years, from the emptiness of the auditorium the organ pipes shone like stalactites in the vault of a cave and there was nothing, no light, no hint that gathered my crumbling courage.
For everything was fulfilled as it was written in stone once when the water abandoned the green and it was said that man will go away and become the dead slave of the dead dust.
And as I stood there gripped, filled with horror
for this judgment and epitaph
which was predetermined and rehearsed
in the mute trumpet of the seraphim of the stones,
bells fell suddenly from the towers to the earth that rocked with an ore-broken thunder, and the copper woman rose, a scream of remembrance drawn from afar to her lips as she drew me in close to her copper body in terrified death.
He woke up. There was light. It was day.
And the Samaritan Nobia sat silent, but still heard the echo of the screams his dreams had squeezed out of his fear.
She searched for words simple enough for a stranger to grasp, but not so simple as to drive away his trust, hardly won yet.
In simple action she finally found them.
And she stood up and smiled with milk
From the moors of Gondrin to the mouth of this fugitive.
​
​
It is no exaggeration to say that space gave us long winter evenings rolled into one - the one that lasts. Our leisure time finally became a grim question with ice in our eyes and a frozen flame.
It became necessary to tell stories from reality - as it can be taken. I chose to tell about King Basii, who, supported by Chefone, forcibly turned himself into a god and magician in a celestial drama.
The Goldonder King felt like God and determined to live up to the gods he built himself a city in the sky.
It was a global world city of goldonders assembled into a kind of hive heaven.
But Basil's space-city, though it contained twelve million men in his service, was not enough for him; he had another built, and the greatest city in the world was soon in space. That city was a marvel to behold: a mighty golden dome, surrounded by three bionomically serving drabants, one of which was called the Vegetable City, one the Fish Drabant, and the third the Sting.
​
The names reveal their role and purpose.
So Basii sits in his heavenly land. The aquarium dragon orbits faithfully and Stings follows it with fattened animals and the vegetable moon amounts to the redwood.
The golden dome was the city of retreat for all climbers and celestial rebels, for gamma was a poison to all alike and all poor and rich alike had to choose between death and escape.
So many preferred the city of Basil.
But although he rules over twelve million
inhabitants of the great city of space, he is still very rarely happy.
And although the dragons in a faithful circle
raise animals and grow fish and wheat
Basil's only pleasure is when he gets
with Vulvis, the royal slave, to bathe in Lethe.
But all the deliciously good virginity
that can be enjoyed in Basil's harem
is in its nakedness a skin of fear.
of frightened dissimulation. And his love story
...is but a tale to be seen from the outside..,
and all his lust a forced voluptuousness.
​
Thus in The Night of Aniara I draw a little picture that everyone can understand from the rich treasure of reality.
And every time I make an arabesque in the hall of Mima about this space grotesque that Basil's space city can probably be said to be, I can for an hour or so make people sigh: the best is here anyway.
From Basil's false heaven we preserve. No, I'd rather travel with Aniara.
But soon the alarm goes off. The bells proclaim that the images of the fairy tale are overtaken by visions here that distress ignites.
And quickly to the halls I return.
​
The Goldonder's garden bubbled with glamour. A party was being held there and Chefone was there. He showed us a picture of the smith of happiness: the goldonder king Basii, a portrait jubilantly taken on the day the fifteen thousandth goldonder lay in the field ready for the wave of endlessness.
Then we were each seized by thoughtfulness and went to our own in solitude.
For in every ship of this number there was a Mima locked up in its cage.
The Rapid criminal was much loved and could operate as he pleased under the protection of the admiration he aroused. He always appeared at great speeds and abducted women whom he brought to Chefone in light blue rapid rockets.
Of course it was criminal, the people of the valley thought, but the charm was so close to the deed that the rampart was breached by sheer admiration and open worship soon followed the advice of restraint at the murder pedal.
​
Tucked away in a corner of our gondola, I pretend to smile at some rough fellows who spend their evenings with mockery and violence, with a devilish flutter as their sole aim.
They look at me and find me mortified,
- The clear approval is what they expect...
and I'm close to being squeezed badly
every time they jokingly glance at my grave door.
The brute is approaching, his dull face with many a foolish whim weighing on his mind.
And many a scowl missed by pigs from the worst corners of the soul he throws at me.
And when, full of fear, I strike with depleted strength in the dull face, the troll is only amused by my blow and raises his eyebrow with interest.
Then I flee between the troll's legs and out the other side of the danger of death.
How this happened can only be fully explained by the light of the gopher and the fourth tensor theory.
​
Here came the sober, composed and sober man who always kept his soul in trim and stuck to the dry, honest maxims of life.
Now he went into the fire with his imagination.
His cool reason was completely burned His sober composure was fried in seconds when the photo turbo in Xinombra exaggerated the cold matter.
And yet I can't help but admire the man as he made his way to the office where he had been employed for many years
and where, despite offers to flee to the tundra, he provided punch cards for thousands who broke up every day.
There died a man who never raised his voice, who always remained true to his calm tone, the martyr of calm composure who was burned when the cruel fires of excess were lit.
​
One is often chilled to the rock crystal by everything one hears before the ear falls like gray-white ash into the cremation hall.
And the girl from Rind who sees nothing is often heard to ask beyond the eye: how is the world of such torment visible? What is to be seen in this madness, where eeriness against eeriness is heard to answer?
Cultivating insight seemed futile
and many fell away from the faithful crowd.
and its program which was to see through
so that with the transparency of evil
as lens and instrument
try to find new signs
and new ways for the land of Gond.
Most people grew tired and withdrew from the room of the Truth Service, and Nobia sat for long periods almost alone, trying to hold on to her looms, always tormented
by the blood moisture of evil memories, the echoes of horror
surrounded her days
and made the Mara a bedfellow
who tore the fabric of the noman
and raped Nobia's dream
and the mood of life over the moors of Gondria.
It is as important to us to have friends
in the houses of distant worlds as at home by
the familiar road of the green earth.
You are reflected in endless eyes, watched by immense spectators.
They never interfere, but they watch the sewing and the mining,
the nurse and doctor on the rounds and the weapons in the shamelessly cruel wars.
Your own position under their eyes may be likened to the position you take with one whom you do not wish to grieve, but to share joy and to please.
So spoke the old astronomer, and then laid his head down to rest.
And he went smiling to the eternity that had been waiting by his side all his life.
His forehead shone with its ideas, even in the dead of death in the years of space.
He was among those who know the fairies of everything, those who get to comb Berenice's hair.
​
But for the longest time I still want to believe that this is the torment of an evil dream and the ship Aniara a phantom from which I will wake up in the Valley of Doris.
Perhaps everything is a nightmare and I want to wait with poison and a knife. They say there are dreams of a kind that seem as long as a man's life.
Out of the dust you were born, from its gifts you were supported.
You did not manage the gift, many a meadow you made desolate.
What is beyond this sea is called Going down deep among riddles too great to be found in a grave.
Faith can never cover more than what you see in spirit.
​
All the other things are too much to bear.
Do you hear the sound of the rescue team calling from an emergency station that is one of a thousand others, regardless of faith?
Now guess where the road leads and what Paradise is.
One of a thousand rescue stations scattered along the coast here.
Now I want to sing to my ear and ask it to listen to a voice that descends not to destroy the language I have collected for comfort. For the comfort of life and death, I whisper the price of sensitivity every time the sinful flow of language storms the breeze of the spirit.
​
One night Heba lay awake in the city of Aniara and heard the painter's joyful painting.
The skilled varnisher was varnishing the years that would one day end on a stainless steel stretcher.
And suddenly from Heba there was a shout against the smooth roof.
The skilled varnishers know their business well.
Too hard to become joy, too happy to become sorrow. The painters paint everything in Aniara's castle.
​
We know that we have been left out of the higher insight of the ocean of mystery and that we lack the tools to reach the depths of clarity that Mima once gave. But since Mima's death, the average of what we achieve of truth is not very high average is what is required if the choice of new paths is to be avoided.
A small number reach the values that should be the average to reach.
The others are satisfied with the flow of thought,
the rattle with which time is made to pass.
A daughter of my mother, called Tovi, was born in the night of space. Alas, dear ones, where can the crowd's demand for sensation and wonder lead us?
First came, as it should be, the blissfully sweet and indescribably pure birth, when the mimicry lay naked, uncovered and panting in the golden bed of the formula.
To her camp now came the mimicry and winged it
the naked one, as when the butterfly flies the honey chalice of its flower, in Dori's meadows. The description is not given (much to my regret) because there is always the possibility of a wave of miracles taking place in secret, to the great disappointment of many who wish to see how the mimagyne makes love, and from what angle the picture of the goddess's love life should be taken in order to really reach the audience.
Can it not be enough that Tovi gave birth to an allegorical child whom Isagel happily suckled at her breast and practiced miracles and consolation You may think so yourself, but others think otherwise.
For not even a mimagyn can defend the fruit of her womb against the human hyena who demands a clear answer on every point of what precedes it all: the prelude to sowing,
with the insides of the thighs well described in a clear image that gives the "public" a feeling that it was in the bed.
​
Yes, it has happened that I have sometimes asked myself (in private silence, of course) whether the smooth ice of superficiality does not have enough joy, and that the great swallows in these spaces are only terrible wakes which, compared to the agile princess and heartlessly threatening with superior power, will in the end become the cold room of beauty.
So small a strip bears, the other breaks, and all the incomparably large gapes with the same dark death which, unchanging with cold upon cold, only imitates itself.
To raise one's hand then with a light-year pound and demonstrate the fugue of eternity on terrible organs, while the girl in the icy distance dances, hardly greater to see than a fly flown away towards the light, it is to chill with the great weapon as when the superpower with the powers the element hides coldly makes its rows in the land of Gond against unsuspecting cities and, although itself dismissing all talk of sin punishment and trial, nevertheless treats the human with such terrible flame that this terrible torrent of loose gamma released by those who do not mean sin punishment nevertheless cruelly destroys both Yaal and Gena and melts down to ashes the wonder Heba
With the same fire they turned on Chebeba.
​
Posterity does not understand you so easily.
It judges according to the image of posterity
and counts up the time you lived in
as rows of negligence, as offenses
against the spirit of foresight, the duties of thought.
To this it adds the work of suffering
and piles up, as blind as a judge
as you were blind as a criminal, case by case.
Can those who have killed the foundations of joy and destroyed the great city of joy have the right to the joys of life?
Does Cain have the right to be happy?
Can those who strangled the joys of Xinombra and burned the valley of paradise have the right to heights of heaven other than Aniara's daily agony?
I ask but never get an answer. I have to arrange for pastimes
for the hordes of Aniara and manage its entertainment.
​
A wave of newly awakened hatred swept through the mountains where Nobia lived in deep mines and ghostly white lights illuminated every thread of life in the fabrics she wove.
She had sought and found the thread of life - a discovery of how healing rays are empowered by the inner council of things and fused with the heart of the atom.
And while hatred swelled around the mountains
and wounds screamed in the valley of time.
she wove day and night until the color of victory
and the skin of life rose in the hall of death.
Of her beauty little can be said. It was lost in a wave of radiation but the clear purity of the soul could be weighed; in healed wounds we saw her reflection.
​
Then I will throw you out of your chair. I will break your armchair view, because it is false and holds a convulsive security in a time that has slipped out of its rooms, but also the other way around: that it becomes a view without deep insight.
From this world, I shall send you happiness today to the kingdom of love, to the evil shore where the Samaritan Nobia and others spread works of love from country to country.
Figuring out the ways of evil and tracking down all the poison in the city of hate was futile, for hate stood there with heavy blocks united row by row.
Within its walls there was life and movement in the birthing centers and squares where human beings were conceived and human beings were born and human life in the human gap was destroyed. It was best to pretend that this city of self-righteous evil existed as nothing more than a devilish childhood that would mature, grow tired of itself.
We resolved to keep on sending saints there for the longest time.
from the saints' camps as long as the funds lasted
and as far as the need still aroused the heart.
This plan was tried for nine years, during which the Rind camp of saints bled to death: an act of self-sacrifice based on faith in the powers of good. But the heavy wall of hate stood just as hard, and the fatigue of leadership followed the act of hate; only too great was the throne of victory we had.
A single city consumed the power which we had thought sufficient for the transformation of the world.
​
On a rare occasion, the happiness of being free from desire also came.
Then the emptiness suddenly became populated by a kind of spiritualized mystery.
We walked the spirit's path of happiness along the beach, exchanging thoughts, making fortune cards.
It was evening and sunset in the sea.
Night fell, but the land of thought stood firm.
He woke up. She said: guess where.
I can't, he said. How did you get here? The same way you did: up the gravel path and then straight to the left among the cypresses. There was a dewy path the moonlight itself went there with light steps which I tried to imitate.
And when everything was past and the path was over
I managed to become a clear crystal and find you, my friend, on this path.
It is so transparently wonderful here.
We no longer exist. All that was is over.
Neither god nor devil here reaches us anymore and the end is the cruel parody of life.
​
Where is the plain text?
This is what I'm looking for.
The one that fits but still gives song.
After thanking God that he was a wasp and not something else, he continued between the leafy branches and stung the farmer.
Laid out by spiritual mobs, the truth becomes worse than the lie. When the mob washes the barley, it is never clean.
The rabble always wash in the dunghill from the Augean stables.
​
​
Matema's camel bells ring in the deserts of speech where the caravans of unfinished quarrels
never reach their oasis, only become more camels.
Immersed as in a dream but still awake, I found myself changed and so naked that no dream has words for what it was like when, transformed by the stone, I cut down towards the inner realms and while this was happening I became smaller, smaller and even more stripped of layers and layers of time and space as I sank further and further into the stone, deeper and deeper into things.
Who undressed me, wore me down so much that no conceivable smallness so small on this earth can be imagined unless one is long since beyond what every comprehensible thought wants to deny.
And yet I was being stripped and reduced still further in no direction.
So sunk, unceasingly sunk in
towards even more breathtaking reduction
I retained in my dream a way of seeing
and understand that I was traveling into
to the dimensions, the innermost
who with their interior work with their interior
and whose interiors compose the world.
They scare children with darkness, criminals with punishment and sinners with realms beyond death where the vengeful desire to torment has transported its arsenal of tormenting images.
But sorrow follows us every day, and joy follows us every day.
We ourselves are the sorrow, we are also the joy, everything human is rooted in humanity, and no human being can escape humanity, not her hatred and her self-degradation, nor the joy she spreads, nor the love she forms.
There is a third land that is not death and not life, but the reality that pervades all realities, and spins the very thread of the fabric from which dreams are woven. Yes, I had come to the rooms where these threads are spun. When I arrived, I stepped out and saw no longer surprised the smallest fairy, who herself was not at all surprised to welcome me to her inner land.
And although we were both unimaginably smaller than two grains of traveling dust on a suit on earth, we thought we were big here in this smallest room to which I have now come and which nevertheless encloses with its vault a separate world of realities formed.
On the contrary, I cannot describe what I saw of strange things, but that will follow when the habit of telling stories has been practiced for other habits than what life offers,
and other things than those called death.
For though beyond all I have known
this was not death
and though within all I have known
this was not life.
​
Actually, the comprehensibility was slight, as when multiples arranged in layers, and layered in the directions of space, make the fabric of the dream omnidirectional structural and become a fabric consisting of paths where the thread is only thought of as a path as a sign that here the shuttle has gone, but where is the thread? The thread is the path. I saw how the gnome was in a quandary as to which of two different possibilities to give clarity.
Then came formulas of such an elusive nature that the gnome was again gripped by the anxiety
which arises when the explanation is attempted but little response is felt by the pupil.
And with a look that shone as if with sorrow, he signaled a break in the dilemma. And with a formula more magical than comprehensible, we left the atom.
We expanded to other contexts and sat on a leaf next to a bee eagerly searching for honey in a meadow.
​
The Dance
Around the great star of the day we shall orbit the years we have been given to live, and our family for a few thousand centuries, perhaps more, perhaps less, no one knows.
But the time that we are orbiting is so small compared to that of the suns where they wander around in orbits in the galaxy our family named the Milky Way, luminous to behold.
What can our eyes see, our hearts cry out at the thought of atoms going around in the same way with waves and particles.
Some have called this the dance of the gods - it is always being danced by everything in the universe.
All indications are that among the arts of the muses
the art of dance is the first and the last,
and we are in it, dancing out
our role in the dance, it is already being danced
in other worlds separate from our time,
in other dance theaters,
yet one thing is clear
that we are dancing our turns.
Our role in it
is ours and no one else's.
Our own role in the dance art of all worlds.
​
Economic overview
Our earth wanders alive alone, around the sun our dear parent.
As far as the giant tubes reach no living neighbor to see.
Desolate and empty on the one who received the name of the god of war, burning hot and desolate on the one who received the name of the goddess of love.
Jupiter, planet of Zeus
ice-clad to two hundred times the height of the Himalayas.
The others are death's door.
Beyond that, light years to the next planetary village.
So each sun has only one living person, and that one is a leased farm, indefinitely and to an unreliable and dangerous race.
​
Here is a world of light distributed in the mystery of things.
Here is the salvaged light in the innumerable rooms of the stone.
Wands point with poles directed to their rooms inside mountains and stones, spinning mystery.
Deep in her fairy tale, she lives for the sake of the tale.
the norn who has learned to spin the yarn from the wool of the riddles.
​
The spirit of Ideema from space in endless lines gathered the seeds into the durable wood of the suns.
From far beyond time the hydrogen came in modest garb and built for its God the ingenious nests of the atoms.
Come, let us nurture the foundation of our life. The green sphere we have been given to live on in the universe's lottery system.
When the next lucky draw can get rid of the Milky Way's big tombola we do not know and can never reach.
But we do know one thing for sure: the next draw will not include us.
​
A stranger called chance shuffles the cards and deals them to the local players.
Every single poker face keeps a straight face.
There are plenty of goldfish in the tureen here.
According to the law, the silent coincidence itself is the last to raise its hand, with ice in its stomach.
Soon jaws of granite are chewing the cigar.
Where is the bundle of happiness among the starlings?
That question is answered when chance wins.
Then the shot goes off, chance's life disappears. His house of cards collapses, but soon everyone at the counter thinks it was a nice fish, that no one won, that chance herself was told by Smith and Wesson what chance was.
by Smith and Wesson what chance should do.
( translation to be continued )

If it's a guy who I'm not interested in (you don't need to match to message someone on Grindr), I just ignore and go about my day without a care. I mute them on Grindr if they are constantly messaging me and can't take a hint. Blocking them will just incite confrontation so I like that Grindr has a mute button. I can't recall if TindeBumble/Hinge/etc. have a mute button. Like they'll create multiple accounts and harrass you, mass report you so I don't block.
If it's a guy who I am interested in, sexual advances are well appreciated however. There was one guy who told me that he was going to fuck me up the ass against my will after I told him I just wanted to give him head because I'm an anal virgin and I'm just not comfortable with a BBC up my ass. And that was yikesy because it triggers my spidey senses. Violating consent is not okay.
But yeah if a guy is just expressing his sexual desire for me, that's perfectly fine and welcomed. I wish I could be that forward with women. "God I want to fuck you, your legs are so sexy" is what I wanted to say to a woman on an app not that long ago. But I held my tongue because I know 99%+ of women are prudes. You can't talk like that to women. It's weird how women are. At the end of the day women know that you're messaging them because you wanna fuck them. Yes I want to date them, enjoy their companionship. But the bottom line is I'm going to want to fuck them. That's the whole point of dating. So why are women acting like you're supposed to pretend like you don't want to fuck them?
When men open me with "I want to suck your cock" "I want your hard dick up my ass" "I want you to blow me" I find that hot. Why don't women find that hot?
I'm mildly bi, heteroflexible I suppose is the right word for me. Yet I feel like I sexually desire men more than straight women do. For me sex is not a big deal. I'm not a prude. I can have sex with someone I don't care about. It can just be pure lust. And there have been instances where I had butterflies after having casual sex and eventually caught feelings after having repeated hookups with someone. But women act like they shouldn't "give it up." As if sex isn't supposed to be something that is mutually beneficial. I've been ghosted after sex by women before. It's not just men who do that. And that sucked. But if I see a woman I desire, I'm still gonna wanna fuck her. The risk to my feelings and my ego is worth it.

Small Hotpoint propane (converted from gas) range. The burners function normally, and the oven heats up, but it doesn't get hot enough. It only heats to 350° F, even with the knob set to 500. I understand that the first thing to check is the igniter, so I removed the bottom panel to observe it. It seems to work properly: I turn the knob, it glows, then the gas flows and the burner fires up, all within 30 seconds. The cones seem to be raging, but the manual says the air shutter should be fully open for propane, so I think this is expected. I didn't leave it on to observe it over time, just saw that it seems to turn on and off properly. In the oven, I checked the end of the thermostat capillary bulb. It is in its two clips and not touching any wall of the oven. I decided to electrically test the thermostat, but couldn't get the top of the oven disassembled to get to the knob end of it. What do you think? More testing of the igniter or get to the thermostat to test it? The igniter is a much cheaper (and easier) part to replace, but that doesn't mean it's actually faulty and needs replacing. If I should pull the thermostat, I'm going to need guidance in taking apart the stovetop. Thanks.

I’ve got a 22 Nissan Armada with an AC issue. Frequently, I don’t get AC’d air until the thermostat is set to 61 degrees. Even then, the air blowing out will cycle from colder AC’d air to more ambient temp air, and the cabin often feels stuffy. Occasionally I’ll get AC’d air at say 73 degrees, but mostly it just blows non AC’d air from outside. On cooler rainy days the windows fog easily, and the climate control when set to AC won’t clear the cabin of humidity.
I’m thinking possibly a bad temp or sun sensor, but not really sure and wanted to se what y’all think.

Hey, I was thinking that I would finally buy myself a fresh pair of air forces for summer, but I've been hearing from a lot of people that they get so so sweaty when you wear them in hot weather. Can anyone tell me if it's true or not? Or are they totally fine to wear on beach. Thanks

This post is the final part of this story. Sorry it has taken so long to get through. And I'm not sure I even understand all of it yet. If you're new, this all started here. The previous part (Part 7) is here. Thank you to everyone who followed along.
-----
“Do you see her?” I asked in a meek voice.
“You mean that girl in black?” Harvey answered.
It was her, in the flesh. Her lips parted and formed a malevolent smile. Her dark eyes fixed on mine. My legs turned to solid lead. My feet refused to move. The anxiousness to reach Parker and Juliet and Beth in the cellar crumbled like the wood turning to ash behind us. She demanded my attention.
A hand rocked my shoulder. Harvey. I pushed him away.
“You have to go. Help them. I’ll take care of her.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be right behind you.”
A mirage of Harvey flitted past Ally and disappeared into the kitchen. Everything blurred, everything but her.
She tilted her head to one side and bridged the gap between us with four slow and deliberate steps. She pushed her right hand out from a long sleeve and ran the black painted nail of her index finger across my cheek, the smooth lacquer cold against my skin. I shuddered as the chill spread like ice creeping up a window.
“It is such a shame to be losing you so soon. We’ve only just met, and yet I feel like we’ve known each other our whole lives. Do you feel it too?”
I shook my head. “Let me go.”
“We’re past that now Sam. I considered if we could coexist, you and I. It gave me a thrill knowing there is another one out there like me. But you insist on meddling with my work.”
“You mean locking all those girls in that filthy dungeon where they met their end? And Jane here.”
“The work is sometimes unpleasant.”
“But the pay is good?”
“This isn’t about money Sam. You and I are the same. The pain you felt from not fitting in. The lonely nights lying awake, wishing you could be like everyone else. The stares and the whispers. The rejection from those who are supposed to love us the most. I too know. But where you hid, I searched out a path where my talents were appreciated and rewarded. You don’t hate me Sam. You hate yourself for not thriving like I have.”
“Thriving? Is that what you call it?”
“By all measures yes. I am good at what I do. The best. The only. Or so I thought. And then there is you. A naïve, sheltered little boy who can barely put on his own pants in the morning. It is such a shame. And these so-called friends of yours, that was always doomed to failure. Oh and if you harbour any thoughts of them escaping, know that we blocked the little secret entrance the stable boy showed you. There’s no escape except through the fire. When they pick through the ashes of this building they will find their bones, and yours. Is this how you imagined it turning out?”
I flexed the muscles in my legs, but they refused to move. Ally smiled.
“It’s useless now Sam.”
I heard the faint whisper of Juliet’s voice in my head. She pleaded with me. Come on Sam, you can do this. I remembered the last encounter with Ally, outside the wall separating Windhaven Manor from the world. Ally had put me in the white room. I had broken free. I had overcome her power once. I had to do it again.
I took a deep breath in through my nose and cried out and willed my feet to move. Electricity coursed through my body and I directed it down to the floor. My left heel separated from the floor and that set the whole thing in motion. The dam burst. I lurched forwards and overbalanced and sprawled to the floor.
Ally crouched beside me and chuckled. “Some would call it a tragedy for a child to die so soon after learning to walk.”
I looked back towards the front of the house. The fire burned hot. Thick black smoke circled up the huge open space of the gallery. Portraits hanging on the wall bubbled and curled as flames consumed them.
A figure appeared at the foot of the staircase. The spectre of Crown. The goons had dragged his lifeless corpse out of the house, but stood before me was the spirit with unfinished business. The ugliness of his actions showed through now in death. His skin was sallow and wrinkled. His head too big for his body and his teeth yellowed. A grotesque monster made worse by his mortal demise.
Ally whispered in my ear. “He knows it was your meddling that brought about his end. I’ll leave you two alone.”
She brushed my cheek with the back of her hand and stood. As she walked away leather straps materialised out of thin air and pinned my body to the floor.
The spectre of Crown grew before me, swelling in size until he had to crouch to stay below the chandelier. He clenched his fists and with burning red eyes let out a guttural growl that skipped my ears and penetrated directly into my skull.
I tried to pull my hands to my ears but they would not come. It made no difference. The roar coming from Crown stabbed the inside of my head like a thousand daggers. I lifted my head and the growl grew to a scream that ricocheted around the inside of my skull. I couldn’t take much more. It felt as though my head would explode.
Guilt bubbled up and mingled with the fear and I shrank into the floor and wished for it to swallow me. They were down there, the only friends I had known, banging against a locked door denying their escape. I sobbed. I sobbed like I had the night my parents turned from me.
In the pit of my stomach something else grew. A seed of frustration born of a lifetime existing in a world that didn’t make sense. A world where I had no idea who I was and what I could or should do. A world in which I hid. I couldn’t do that now.
Juliet’s voice as clear as day, cutting through the racket of Crown’s scream. Do it Sam. I gritted my teeth and electricity buzzed somewhere deep inside, at first dull and imperceptible, and then amplified and resonating until it peaked into a deafening roar.
Above Crown the bulbs in the chandelier glowed white. He swivelled his head and watched them dumbly.
I concentrated, felt the energy forming an extra limb. Like the arms and legs of a newborn it flailed spasmodically. I fought to control it, to turn it to my will. I focussed on the straps pinning me to the floor. The electricity fed into the straps and turned them hot. For a moment I feared they would scold my skin, and then in a moment of release they split and flung upwards.
I picked myself up off the floor and faced the spectre of Crown. Like a spent boxer throwing one final punch I threw out my hands and screamed, willing Crown to be quiet and be still. Demanding he be so.
The floor shook. The dozens of bulbs in the chandelier shattered. The giant spectre of Crown diminished and the screaming inside my head softened until it was no more. Crown’s eyes opened wide as his mouth stitched together and his arms wrenched behind his back. I flicked my hand like I was swatting a fly and Crown flew into the corner of the room and slumped to the floor.
I bent over and rested my hands on my knees. My muscles ached, like I had run a marathon. Shadows played on the floor. I sucked in air and smoke and spluttered and coughed.
In the hallway the silhouette of Ally. She turned and shook her head. The heat of the fire intensified and crackled at my skin. If we were to make our escape, she could not be here to block us. I straightened and strode towards her.
I cycled furiously through the events of the last few days, searching for something to defeat Ally. I had to do to her what she had done to me. The time for running and breaking her spells was through.
I closed my eyes and concentrated. I stripped away everything except for the two of us. The crackle of the fire replaced with silence. The smell of the smoke disappeared. The heat washed away. One by one I shut down all my senses. When I opened my eyes a monotone room of white. Sterile calm had replaced the burning insides of Windhaven Manor.
Her eyes scanned the room and she giggled. “Cheap tricks won’t get you far,” she said. “And you learned this one from me.”
The white rippled as if the walls were made of water. She was fighting it. I concentrated, focussing all my energy, all my will. The ripples slowed and then stopped.
“You’re a fast learner,” she said. “But I have been doing this for more than a weekend.”
Strips of colour permeated the white. A rectangle of tile appeared on the floor. And then some blue from the curtain. Enough of a smouldering wall to let in some smoke. The acrid smell reached my nose and I spluttered. As each wedge of colour appeared, I filled it back in white. But it was a sinking ship and the pail I held to bail out the water would not be enough.
Ally grunted under her breath. A grunt of frustration. The white room shook and made a sound like a train bearing down.
I had to bind her. I raised my palm and coils of rope rose from the ground and oscillated like snakes around her. She swatted them away and wrenched them from the ground and flung them at my feet, limp and unmoving.
“It won’t be that easy,” she sneered.
My arms jerked behind my back. She bound my wrists and then my ankles. She pursed her lips and blew as if extinguishing a single candle on a birthday cake, and it was enough to send me to the floor. I couldn’t do this on my own. I needed help.
I shut my eyes and concentrated my energy not on my bindings, but on the woods at the back of Windhaven Manor. On the girls who escaped the dungeon and now roamed the forest, watching the house burn from behind the barrier Ally constructed.
I fed the energy coursing through my body into the giant snowdome structure until it burned hot and then like the globes in the chandelier, it cracked and exploded into the night sky. The spirits of the girls watched the shards disappear and then strode towards the Manor.
I turned my attention to the tiny room beside the pantry, where Jane Laughlin lay bound to the bed. I stood beside her and lay my hand on the shackles binding her to the bed. She shuddered as the mask came free from her mouth and then stood as the shackles broke.
I opened my eyes and the white of the room flickered off and then back on again like bad reception on a television. I had to keep the white walls up long enough for them to draw near. For them to be ready when the façade fell. Ally strode towards me, exuding confidence.
“You can’t beat me Sam.”
Ally squeezed her hands into fists and screamed. In a burst of energy she wiped the white room clear and we were back in the burning house. The air was thick with smoke. Behind me a timber beam tumbled from the ceiling and crashed to the floor. The heat and smoke sucked the moisture from my insides and I heaved out a series of coughs.
Ally opened her eyes and smiled. She had bested me. But then they came. The girls from the dungeon and Jane Laughlin surrounded her. The sum total off all the pain and hurt inflicted in this place. Everything Ally had worked to keep hidden from the world.
They lurched at Ally. She raised her hands and pushed them back one by one as they went for her. She spun on the spot, trying to keep them at bay. She could not hold them all back. The sheer weight of numbers overwhelmed. They leaned in and pushed their heads into hers and showed her what those men had done. Made her feel it. The fear and despair and anger of each individual stacked together and Ally crumpled to the floor holding her head.
“Make it stop,” she said.
They kept at her.
Jane Laughlin sidled over to the base of the stairs where Crown sat, bound and with his mouth stitched. She considered him, restrained and helpless on the floor as she had been. He fought with his restraints, and then whimpered, as she had. As I ran for the pantry and the wine cellar, the corridor filled with the muffled sound of his screams.
The door to the cellar stood open and I made the descent of the stairs in three leaps. The enclosed space already full with smoke. At the end of the long corridor leading outside, Parker and Harvey shouldered the door. Juliet and Beth screamed encouragement. The door would not budge.
“We can’t go that way,” I yelled.
They raced back up the long corridor. A sudden rush of emotion bubbled up to the surface. I was so happy to see them all still alive. My lower jaw rattled and my hands shook. I fought to hide it.
Beth reached me first. “Sam, you’re ok.”
I blubbered a response and took in a lung full of smoke. We had to get out.
The fire raged outside the kitchen door. A wave of flame climbed up and spread across the ceiling. A subtle cracking sound from above intensified and a chunk of the upstairs floor came crashing down through the ceiling, blocking the rear door. We couldn’t get out the back. The only way now was back through the house. A ball of flame whooshed through the doorway and I put my arm up too late, my eyebrows wilting in the heat.
We crouched together in the middle of the kitchen, lowering our heads to get the last of the remaining oxygen. Malicious red flames and choking black smoke surrounded us on all sides.
“Where do we go now?” Parker’s words came out between coughs. Tears streaked down his cheeks. Soot covered his brow. I wished I had an answer.
Then he was there, standing over Parker’s shoulder. Leon. With the protective bubble gone, he too was free to come in the Manor.
“The fire has not yet consumed the dining room. But you don’t have long.”
I looked vaguely in the direction of the kitchen door and blinked back the stinging from the smoke. “I don’t think we can find it in this.”
“Follow me.”
I pulled my shirt up over my head. “We have to go. The dining room, we can make it. All together on three.”
I shouted out the numbers, the sound drowned out by the roar of the fire. I grabbed Beth’s hand and yanked her into action. Leon led the way and I kept my eyes on his heels. Together we were a flurry of arms and legs bounding for the dining room. I gritted my teeth against the heat. We burst through the doorway and everything turned orange.
From below the sweater pulled tight down over my hair, I shot a glance over to the floor of the grand gallery where I had left Ally writhing on the floor. She was not there now. Nor were the spectres of the girls.
I followed Leon’s heels into the dining room. The great wooden table smouldered in the centre of the room. Brilliant orange flames consumed the thick curtains. Parker spotted his camera still atop the tripod and set to pulling the camera free before Harvey grabbed his arm and yelled something that sounded like ‘leave it’.
Harvey grabbed one of the heavy chairs with their high backs and velvet cushions and heaved it at the window in the back corner of the room. The chair disappeared into the darkness of the night and Harvey kicked at the glass shards left behind. Parker joined. We piled out the opening.
I drank in the fresh cool air of night, staggering over the narrow path beside the house and to the small strip of grass beyond. Parker collapsed beside me and pulled the laptop out from under his shirt. He tapped at the casing and for a moment a brief smile flashed across his face, but it did not last long. He wiped soot and sweat from his face with shaking hands.
Harvey checked us all in turn, like a parent fussing over their children. We had scrapes and bruises and our skin was red and raw, but we were alright. We had survived. He ran to the front of the house and came back with palms held out by his sides. The man in the black suit, the goons Ponytail and Beanie, and Ally were all gone, along with the black van and the BMW.
Huddled together, we watched the fire consume Windhaven Manor, bright reds and oranges lighting up the windows and thick black smoke tumbling into the purple haze of sky. It was almost morning, the horizon signalling the coming of the sun.
Leon stood apart on the grass. I went to him.
“Thank you for coming back for us.”
He shrugged. “It’s something. It isn’t enough to make up for the rest.”
“You saved our lives. And those girls, they had their chance to meet their tormentors. That’s something too.”
He nodded. “What happens now?”
I turned my head sideways. “I’m still learning how all this works.”
The red of the fire reflected in his eyes. “Me too. I might go for a walk in the woods. I always liked it out there.”
He glided across the lawn and entered the trees and was gone.
The sound of sirens fought with the crackle of the fire. The fire brigade and the police. I got to my feet and shuffled to the front of the Manor. The burnt out carcasses of our cars stood by the low height wall. Black soot smudged the stone façade above the windows and the doors.
By the oak tree on the ocean side of the house stood Jane Laughlin. She peered down into a hole dug at the base of the tree. A pale and withered hand poked up out of the dirt. Her hand. They had meant to remove the body, but had aborted the task and fled.
A fire truck appeared at the head of the driveway and then another. They sped down the gravel and came to a sliding stop. A lone police car followed. Harvey sidled over.
Jane looked to the horizon. Out on the cliff edge stood a figure in a red dress. She recognised her sister Kylie immediately and ran down the slope. The two sisters embraced in the first light of the sun. I turned to the whoosh of water through a hose from the fire trucks and when I turned back, the Laughlin sisters were gone.
The members of The Séance Club, which I now consider myself a part, sat together on the low-height stone wall as the firefighters extinguished the flames consuming Windhaven Manor. The house was quiet now. The nausea and vibration I had felt that first night replaced with calm.
The police stripped the compound clean for the best part of a week. They identified Kyle the sketch artist and Hugo from the teeth that survived the fire of the hovel built over the dungeon. Hugo’s wife lay on the back lawn where Beanie and Ponytail had left her. But as to specific evidence of the crimes that occurred, they could not find enough to put a case together.
The two fires and the disappearance of Crown made some headlines, but there wasn’t enough to hang anyone else. The police claimed publicly that there was no link between the fire at Windhaven Manor and the fire at the squalid residence over the back fence. At Harvey’s behest they searched the area with cadaver dogs for the remains of the girls, but they found nothing.
Parker turned his laptop over to the police. They identified the two goons, Ponytail and Beanie, low level thugs who had disappeared from the streets years earlier. Those in the know presumed them dead. It made tracing them almost impossible. Tracing their vehicles lead to a dead end.
The man in black the suit on the other hand might as well be a ghost. On him they found nothing. They have a face, but nothing else.
As for Ally, the girl somehow managed to always turn her face away from the cameras, as if she knew where they were.
I sat in a small room at the police station for three days with Harvey putting the pieces together. He showed me a photograph of an old and gaunt man with a bent back, the last owner of Windhaven Manor before it was sold after his death. He had to be the man with the bent back from the ceremony in the dungeon, but I could not be certain. I never saw his face. Of the faces I did see, we knew Crown and Kyle and Hugo, but the others were harder to pinpoint.
At the end of it all Harvey sighed. There was nothing more we could do. But we could rest on the knowledge that the key players in the ceremony were all now dead.
Questions nagged at me. Where was Ally and what was she doing? Would she try to find me? Who was she working for?
That was the biggest question of all. Who was at the top and pulling the strings? Harvey wasn’t giving up. He was a dog with a bone at the best of times, and now he had a taste of blood. He refused to go back to the police even after Crown’s departure, which he described as the removal of a cancerous limb.
Harvey called me after the dust settled on everything. I told him that the trail had gone cold and I had no idea where Ally was. For all I knew she had evaporated into thin air. Harvey thought it unlikely, and I agreed. He told me it was time for some old-fashioned detective work. The names of the goons would be a start.
And there was something else Harvey mentioned, something that I had almost forgotten. He had always believed that his investigation into the disappearance of the girls was the reason one of his colleagues was murdered. Crown confirmed as much in the bedroom right before he was shot. Harvey thinks there is something to it. Another thread to pull, and he has a hunch. For now he’s keeping his cards close to his chest until he has some proof. I almost pressed him on the issue but decided I’d rather put it all behind me.
The story made headlines in the local press for a while, but ultimately it fizzled into a non-story, quickly forgotten by a public with a short attention spans. We all waited for a reckoning from within the police ranks, but it never came. Harvey predicted that’s the way it would go, and he was proven right.
The one item they did recover was a gold necklace with a heart pendant. The necklace Jane Laughlin wore the night of her death. The police found it where the black van had parked. After a few days in the possession of the police, Harvey arranged to have the necklace released to the family of its former owner.
The following day Mr. and Mrs. Laughlin appeared on the local news, thanking the efforts of those who recovered the remains of their daughter. It was closure, though not the kind they had hoped for. Both their girls were dead.
A week later The Séance Club convened in Beth’s apartment. Parker and Juliet were already there when I arrived. It was cathartic to talk about the events at Windhaven Manor, to compare stories and scars. I guess that’s why they have the saying about a problem shared.
After a brief silence, Beth asked, “Are you going to talk to the parents of Jane and Kylie?”
I shook my head. “What will I tell them?”
“That their daughters found each other out by the cliff edge.”
“And what about the agony of their deaths? Should I tell them that too? Besides, it doesn’t feel right. None of this feels right to me yet. And what weight do my words hold over those of some Priest talking about how he knows their souls are at rest.”
“Because you really do know.”
I shrugged. “I can’t prove any of it.”
Truth was I had no idea how to integrate the things I could see and do into my life. From childhood all I had wanted was to be like everyone else. For people not to stare or whisper as I walked by. To find acceptance. Sitting with my three new friends at Beth’s tiny kitchen table, with our shared experience behind us, I finally had it. This could be the start of something.
Parker was already planning the next Séance Club trip. An abandoned farm up north with mysterious sightings going back centuries. Juliet was already on board. I told them to wait. I couldn’t jump back in right away.
I was the last to leave, Beth and I sipping mug after mug of coffee and sharing comfortable silence. When I sighed and told her I should go, she grabbed my arm.
“I’ve never had a real family, and then I found Juliet and Parker. The Séance Club became my family. Whatever happens we are there for each other. And we mean it when we say we want you to join.”
I thought about that all night, unable to sleep.
The next morning I called Parker.
An abandoned farm up north you say?
* * * *
I navigated to the narrow alley and checked the time. The Exchange should be open. It looked out of context in the Saturday morning light. No bright light spilling from the window. No surge of Friday night after work traffic.
I slipped in the front door. A lone man lifted upturned stools down from the bar. He had his back to me and I crept across the hardwood floor in the direction of the stairs down and the bathrooms.
The vibration swelled in my chest, but I did not fear it. A dull pain rose in the base of my skull, but I gritted my teeth. A man wearing a pair of rough leather shoes came from the other end of the corridor and stopped before me.
“Are you here to help?”
I nodded.
X

Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/eCbfVLN
​
I am on a road trip. An object flew under the car in front. I didn't have any time to react. If I had hit the object when it was still in the air I wouldn't be here today.It ripped thorough the bumper and got stock damaging the radiator. Anyway, I am not great with cars. Is this the radiator for engine?
This happened yesterday. Outside was cold. I am on a road trip. I drove 4 more hours after this accident. I will check the car after I post this.
Completely irrelevant to this: An hour before this accident, AC stopped working. Outside is cold bu it's sunny, which makes the inside hot. For the first 3 hours of the trip AC was fine. And it stopped blowing even tho it makes the full fan noise. If I turn the AC off and run just the fans it starts blowing again. I am the second owner. I never used the AC this long before. I never had issues before this. I own the car for 7 years now.
​
2013 328i xDrive 52k miles. I am in the US.

Part 1 of the Evil That Lies Within arc begins.
[Previous] Part 022 [Next]
<==--------===-=-===--------==>
/- - Flight of the War Witch - - \
\ =>>>>><0> 023 <0><<<<<= /
\ - - - Patron of the Arts - - - /
=----=====----=
Voice Log Entry number: 81-3, Timestamp: 02-15 (estimated (guesstimated)(aintgotacluestimated))
Bit into the -second- year here. Yeah. Still getting used to that. Think I am going to just start counting days as they pass here rather than doing the mental gymnastics needed to convert fifty hour days and two-hundred day seasons into Earth days and years. A 'season' here being about four-hundred and sixteen days long. Give or take a few days. Considering everything else on this world is artificial - I have a feeling the variance in the season timing is intentional and probably oscillates. Not enough pattern data yet to know for sure.
Still no handle on why time feels... compressed here? I have settled into a sleep schedule of about sixteen of the twenty-five hour night - and it feels like a restful eight hours. The dragon folk tend to sleep twenty hours. I use the extra time to practice with my magic sword. My MAGIC SWORD! yeaaaaaah!
This Grand Bazaar is so fun! It is like an enormous ren-fair if ren-fairs were into greeco-roman fashions. Speaking of. Baroness Clade was all ga-ga over some new dresses from the outer ring of the gathering. These were pretty interesting as the floor length skirts billowed out. This was pulled off by weaving the whole thing from wire mesh instead of chain-mail. Or used metal struts connected to a belt to give the garment shape. Just more example of how their textiles diverged from ours due to the radically different materials on hand. No mammals, no wool, a ridiculous abundance of metals. Oh yeah. And freaking magic.
I have to keep reminding myself that this is all on an enormous scale. It takes me about three hours to walk the outer ring. (oh-so much longer because we are window-shopping...) My walk speed is forty-eight kph. So yeah. Its big. And this thing lasts a ten-day. Though the tenth day is when alot of folk start packing up. Some far earlier if they sold out their wares quicker.
Found out what the wigs are made from. Dragon hair. Found a stall selling wigs and turns out dragons with nice hair use a hair growth spell to grow it out and harvest it regularly. Can not do it frequently. Something about needing time to replenish. But it is a business here for dragons who like other hair colors.
If you are willing to hang around a few days there are crafters and brewers who can whip up during the event some basic magic items. Mostly little widgets that do not do a whole lot. Or quick-craft stuff like arrows with basic targeting enhancement enchantments. Potions can be gotten in a day. I nabbed a few "Healing Potions" because they should work on my nominally organic parts. Least that was what I expected. Guess what? That's right. I'm WRONG! Kinda-sorta... Its Complex!!!
We swung around the Druid section of the magic ring at Ghinda's request and got the lowdown on the problems of fixing me up as it had apparently unbeknownst to me, been prying on her mind ever since we met. She would prod me now and then at the keep to do some 'tests', but never said what for?
This for...
She had been talking at length with one of the higher ups in the rankings of nature lovers. This guy looked ancient! Yet strong at the same time. My chest and veins felt a little tingly near him. Guessing that was the more plant based parts of me responding? In any case he was blood red and had these curly corkscrew horns like a ram. Rings everywhere! Fingers, horns, tail. Don't wanna know where else! And holding this staff that was like twenty meters tall! Wood. Like a whole tree. Topped with a turquoise orb and an, ahem, orbiting ring of, er, rings with different elements in the rings where a finger would go. Standard Earth, Air, Fire, Water. But between those were Magma, Smoke, Ice (how'd he get that even???), and Mud. Really impressive looking. The length of the staff was carved with arcane runes and banded in gold. Guy really liked his ring motif huh?
So first glance at me is that dismissive "Fuck off technology." attitude and I'm like "ooooh Imma gonna -show- him somethin!"
But then he does a double-take and starts to look at me funny. Like he is looking -through- me, inside me?
Then he starts to get excited.
Then really excited.
Then -oh fuck! What did I do this time?- excited.
Turns out he could clearly sense all the plant-life inside me comprising my life support systems. A fifteen meter tall enclosed micro-ecology. He was just ooohing and ahhing at the near perfect balance of my internal workins. And so an hour or more passed while I tried to explain in fantasy terms the incredible effort that went into the CyberDyne project and the botanist who made the breakthrough in sealed life support systems. They read it all as a neo-Druid creating a self sustaining eco-system. Something Druids of this world consider a work of art or a religious experience in a way. Due to how the whole world is in a way just that. Self contained and perpetual.
He was really interested in the mini forest that makes up my lungs. Probably because they are not of this world and at a guess are pinging his nature sense. He asked me if he could get a clipping. And I said "Not on the first date."
He got all purple in the face and then laughed and laughed.
So he confirmed that basic healing incantations like [Balm of Life] will kinda-sorta work on me. But due to my, ahem, Golem nature and my botanic parts, I'd get more oomph from a simple [Repair] incantation for my cybernetics and [Botanica's Blessing] for my plant based systems. A healing potion was going to do me little good then - and would be only a -third- as effective. argh! ah well. I can use it in the others in an emergency. Stuff makes triage look like leeches and poultices. hmph. Magic.
From all this I did though get some advice. Mainly to look up a Master of Alchemy to whip up some specialized healing draughts. Cost a bit more. But better than needing the magic equivalent of a Pit Crew to heal me up. Not like I intend to get perforated again. But with these Coalition jokers out there. I have a bad feeling I am going to be in the eye of the storm. Least they pointed me at someone here to talk to about that.
Noon will be dinner with the local nobility. The Baroness suggested I dress well so I guess I will be stowing the Regalia and going formal. Good thing packed the clothes for this. Kinda nervous. Aside from meeting the mayor of Dynamiton City, I have never really had to deal with the higher ups.
Forescout Valkyria signing out.
=----=====----=
Valkyria, with much assistance from Roscida, disengaged her Regalia and a few plates to slim down to a less aggressive profile. Then her ward helped her to get dressed and don her wig. Together they met up with Dasos and she resupplied more goggles to sell and for the morning the Gorgon swapped out with the Ki-rin girl so Dasos could do a little shopping herself.
Wandering the stalls and merchants she was updated on the sales of the goodies and stoning potions. "huh, more sold than I expected?"
Dasos nodded while munching on a glazed tyra leg as she walked beside the War Witch. "The Grand Bazaar is an opportune time to sell and spread word. And word is spreading."
She glanced sidelong at the Gorgon. "Feels good to be making a difference?"
This got an emphatic nodding. "Very much so. The look on peoples faces. Especially the expressions when learning the low cost. After thousands upon thousands of days we are not shunned and driven off."
"In time the cure will be found and you all can go back to living normal lives."
Dasos was keen to buy a new dress for herself after a lifetime of living in rags and whatever they could scrounge or steal. Well the metal equivalent of rags. Dragon clothing was very durable overall.
-<>-
As noon rolled around they saw the Gorgon back to her stall and Roscida joined Valkyria in meeting Baroness Clade at the castle gates. The structure was tremendous and some of the taller minarets reached high into the sky perhaps a quarter of a kilometer. The gate guards were armored and looked alot like silver versions of Valkyria. Though without the stiff wing covers. Each was armed with a huge halberd, a pole arm some twenty meters long with a spike pointing upwards, an axe head facing forward and a hook facing back.
Baroness Clade did the introductions and then they were escorted inside by an attendant and Valkyria got to gawk at the decorations, all on a cyclopean scale. Fifteen meter tall statuary adorned some halls. tapestries and stained glass windows were common and there were quite a few paintings. The elder Clade encouraged the guide to elaborate on some of the depictions.
"Here is show the mounted battle of the Phantom Swamps some two-hundred thousand days past."
The white and gold cyborg ran a quick calculation and figured that to be over a thousand years ago by Earth time. "So you even domesticated a thunder lizard?" She was looking at the huge diplodocus that was being ridden like an elephant and was about as large.
"The diplo in the center? Yes. They are native to the great swamps of the lowlands. A few daring souls have trained them for war. But they are difficult to manage. Bron are even harder to tame and for reasons unknown once every few seasons a bull will ascend the plateaus and go on a rampage until either driven off or put down." So explained the attendant.
Valkyria studied this for a time, taking into account the gigantic scale of this battle depicted. Spells were flying, knights with glowing weapons were cleaving into each-other, and a pair of trebuchets mounted on the diplodocus were lobbing stones at some sort wall of earth some mage had called up. The painting had tiny little details in it down to links in armor and little fine inscriptions on weapons and standards. "Who are they fighting? Looks formidable? Are those a pair of Golems? I see hinged joints?" she questioned.
"Indeed m'lady. Ta Matia tis Mageías, The Eyes of Vraja, were a mageocrocy that formed formed around a renowned vraja college of Solomonari to the west between here and the Ki-rin lands. They grew in power and then began expanding. They employed Golems and Elementals in large numbers and were a force to be reckoned with. The painting depicts the final battle on the borders of what would become the Principalities." pointed out the attendant.
"So what became of them?"
Baroness Clade answered that. "Everyone turning against them and internal fraction caused the eventual collapse as they suffered a series of defeats after some initial victories. A faction within the Eye was against violence and secretly aided the unified people opposing the expansion and so inside and out the cracks formed. Finally they could take no more and sued for peace when they realized the horrible loss of knowledge that was happening as one after another fell. They reorganized and police themselves rigorously now as a true college of study and wisdom. That was all some half a million days ago."
The War Witch gawked as she did some calculations. Over two-thousand eight-hundred Earth years ago. "And it is still going today?"
A nod from the elder dragoness. "Indeed. I myself studied there for six-thousand days and graduated well in my class."
Valkyria did not comment on needing to go to magic school for thirty-five years before getting out was a bit mind blowing. "Seems all that study payed off!"
"Twas not that long. Curricula has advanced since those early days. Back then one was expected to study for a full ten-thousand says!" the Solomanari waved it off as if decades meant little in the greater scheme.
This got the cybernetic human in a draconic looking variable frame to wondering just how long these people lived. Something she would have to ask later. She had some clues already based on the ages of Roscida and the younger Clade, which reminded her. "So will Clade and the Baron be arriving in two days?"
"Correct. My husband and daughter wish to do some shopping while the event is close."
After that they met up with Princess Lykofos. This woman was tall and a rich royal purple with blue scale trim. She was dressed in an ebony gown set with hundreds of diamonds so it looked like a starry night twinkling as she moved. Her long hair was a night blue with a streak of lighter blue like a comet trailing down one side. "Ahh. So this is the mysterious stranger I have heard so much about in so short a span?" she addressed the War Witch with a pleasant rumbly voice.
"That is probably me if it is something weird yea, M'lady." she replied.
The Princess' smile grew. "I would not call selflessly aiding the people of the land weird Lady Valkyria. You have performed a deed long thought impossible in bringing back to us our brethren thought forever lost. That alone is worthy of high praise. I also hear you were instrumental in completing my cousin's elemental collection, yes?"
Valkyria looked from one to the other questioningly. "Cousin? So you two are related?"
Baroness and Princess shared a laugh. "Oh indeed. Though Procidens here takes more after her seaside blood while I take more after our inland kin." she then walked along with the group and plied the cybernetic visitor with questions. "I observed you on the streets yesterday. But you were much bulkier and not dressed?"
"Yes. I removed my Regalia as it is cumbersome for formal affairs."
That got a smile from the Princess. "We have lost a few chairs to knights insisting on attending in full dress armor. So your mercy upon my furniture is appreciated!" Glancing at the figure of the strange being she asked. "I understand that you are lost and far from home, with no hope of ever returning. Let me assure you on behalf of the Principalities of the Comet as a Princess of my realm that you are more than welcome in our lands. I wish only that you might have seen us in less troubling times..."
"I would like to think the same if one of you ever ended up in my world. And sadly I am no stranger to troubling times back home. It is how I became as you see me now." So replied the War Witch in thanks to her gracious benefactors. Then she was treated to a lavish dinner and various deserts afterwards. The main course were various soups, some meat stock and some vegetable, all with tyra egg mixed in like a sort of egg-drop soup. Then there were roast uta in some sort of glaze and seasoning with no Earth equivalent. It was faintly sweet. A rarity for dragon cuisine she had learned over the course of her stay. Sugar producing plants were rare in the qualities needed to make it even remotely viable. So she guessed what she was tasting was probably honey.
This got her musing as to what sorts of bugs were in the environment. But she had thus far held off on that question. She certainly had not seen any other than a little flitting thing she guessed was a dragonfly the size of an Earth eagle. A speck at her scale; and butterflies, or the prehistoric equivalents of, with bright single colors in stripes rather than patterns. The wing edges were flat rather than rounded.
As usual she got some amusement from the reactions to her eating. "So how bad has the Coalition been in the last season? I hear the realms bordering on the Coalition have had a few incursions. But nothing big since that ambush on Clade?"
Princess Lykofos nodded contemplatively. "Not officially no. But there have been two attacks deeper into the Principalities that were not made public."
"To keep the enemy guessing what happened to the squads?"
"Correct. Your case was impossible to keep quiet on. That and it was agreed that the nature of your advent would perplex and confound the Coalition well and good. The various Princes and Princesses have been quietly deflecting inquiries about you ever since. And keeping abreast of who is asking these questions. We have designated you a War Witch, though it is rather obvious your nature and incantations function outside the norm. Obvious to those of us with a broader knowledge of the mystic arts."
Valkyria nodded between tossing trees dipped in some manner of broccoli-esque sauce into her maw and munching. "Figured that would be the case really. Trying to mesh what I can do with what you people can had been a challenge to put it mildly." she admitted.
"We appreciate the effort on out behalf. Were I pressed to classify you, based on the information thus far gathered, I would probably lean to that of the Fusillade. An as yet rare outgrowth of Artifice focused on long range strikes. Alchemists are another calling that is much better known due to it's utility." so described the Princess.
"I will stick to War Witch for now to keep the enemy guessing" so smiled slyly said War Witch while taking a bite from a uta drumstick. After that she tried some pie which was remotely similar in flavor to a lemon meringue pie. Made from a thick rinded fruit called a citron. They were about the size of grapes to her and looked like yellow fragment grenades. The actual usable part was the size of a pea inside. "Somewhere on Earth an agriculturist is having fits over the quantities needed to eat round here." she chuckled. Apparently the rinds were fed to styra as they loved it.
After dinner the party retreated to sealed chambers with guards posted round. The Princess sat down in a comfy looking chair and her demeanor got notably more serious. "Now for the more pressing matter we invited you to visit today. There has been a death at the Grand Bazaar."
Baroness Clade looked concerned. "Another?"
Princess Lykofos nodded solemnly. "Another inventor of enchanted items."
This seemed to be an ongoing thing so the white and gold dragoness asked. "I take it that this is one of several? How many?"
"Six thus far. All crafters working on some new wonder. All found dead of what appear to be natural causes. But their inventions missing and soon to show up in Coalition hands. This can not be coincidence. We have tried communing with the spirits of the dead. But to date none have ever seen their slayer and thusly can not place name to this mysterious spy in our midst. We would like to ask if you can assist us in any way with this mystery. Perhaps someone outside the problem can uncover a clue we are missing?" The Princess then laid out the six assumed murders so far.
"The first was several seasons ago. About one-thousand days. An inventor working on a repeating ballistia was found dead in his home and the prototype missing. less than a season later the Coalition is being armed with a new repeating ballistia. The shape is different. But the function and timing are suspect." she sighed and then continued. "Next was a craftsman who was working to produce a more refined healing draught. Found dead and the formula gone. We suspect the Coalition is now issuing it to their soldiers. Third was a friend of mine that I had patroned for years. She was working on a new armor enchantment for the Lightning Knights. Found hanged in her bedroom. Apparent suicide. I -know- better. Tellingly. We questioned her spirit and she remembered nothing of that and was as perplexed as we were. This invention has not yet surfaced in the Coalition to our knowledge. The next three have each coincided with a Grand Bazaar and yesterday we found another crafter dead. No vraja residue and incantations to detect poisons showed nothing. His creation is missing."
"Is the body still on hand?" asked the War Witch.
"Yes. Though we checked thoroughly." replied the Princess. "Also the Ruling Prince sent us an investigator who has been following the case since the second occurrence. He is here now. We wished to speak to you alone before bringing them in."
"If vraja showed no traces then we have to think outside the box. And working with a professional would be a boon I bet. They know vraja?"
The purple and blue dragoness bowed her head and so they retreated to the castles equivalent of a morgue. "Yes they are a practitioner of the arts. "We checked for signs of covert violence. Assassination is rare, but not unheard uf in some less reputable kingdoms."
Here she was introduced to a male red dragon with black scale trim. He looked curiously at Valkyria as she looked over the body laid out on a stone slab pending last rites or other arrangements. "M'lady. I was not expecting you to come down so late." he deferred to the Princess.
Valkyria took some samples and ran some basic tests with her onboard analysis systems. These were not medical grade. But she took some readings anyhow just in case something showed up. "No foreign elements in the blood. But there is an elevated carbon trade in the lungs. hmmmmm." She redid her tests and focused them as an idea began to percolate to the fore. "Has anyone tried contacting the spirit since you have that option?"
"Not yet. It is a taxing incantation and requires five special candles to perform. We have some in stock but supply is limited and the dead tend not to answer exactly coherently. And you can not use the incantation on a spirit again till many days have passed." so explained the red dragon.
"Got it. Makes sense then. Lets see. Here's the results on the test and... ah-hah. Well I can save you some candles."
"Oh?" Both the Princess and the Baroness asked as one.
"Exotic tallow fume traces in the lungs. Someone used that communicate with the dead incantation ahead of you. Maybe to prevent you from finding out something? Or just waste limited resources?" explained the mechanical visitor.
The investigator nodded thoughtfully. "Though that does not explain the lack of clues as to cause of death?"
"Right. But we know from this that the spy is versed in the arts and is using it to cover their tracks. huh. Question. Would an incantation to cure poison work on a corpse? And would it leave any traces of vraja?" she asked thoughtfully.
"A [Counter Poison] incantation would leave faint traces of vraja in the system."
"Ok. Are there any incantations that mask vraja presence?" she followed up.
This surprised the gathered practitioners of the art. "Why no? How would that even work? To use vraja to conceal vraja. That would leave traces itself."
"Would it though?" mused the cyborg. Then she waved it off. "Just a thought. Was there any vraja trace found on the one that hung herself?"
"Why... no there was not?" and a dawning horror of realization shone in the Princess' eyes. "You mean..."
The War Witch looked down at the cadaver and then to those gathered.
"Yeah. Your spy is an inventor too."
<==--------===-=-===--------==>

I seek representation for my manuscript, Big Bugs and Big Words. It is an adult sci-fi/thriller complete at 88,000 words. Fans of (x) will find it frightening enough to quench their thirst for gore, and readers of (x) will enjoy more of its immense world and subtle undertones.
Henry has always wanted to be a pilot, but his lack of formal education stunted his career. The only solace he finds in being a lead security officer on Sepsit's satellite station is his retirement package which includes the life-extender. He could use the extra century to study for an aptitude test that would let him join the military.
There are only twenty more years on his shift when a barrichibo beetle escapes containment, and he becomes aware of all the safety violations inside the testing labs. He puts protocols in place to protect the crew, which infuriates the lead researcher Endo, who doesn't want a C-class citizen slowing down the experiments. Henry stands firm against the hot-headed scientist, and the two quarrel over who has more authority. Endo gets leverage over Henry when he discovers his illiteracy which, if Star-Dom found out about, would send him back to Newgaia with his last paycheck. In desperation, Henry sabotages lab equipment, hoping a barrichibo will sting Endo and inject him with its mysterious mood-distorting neurotoxin. Things go sideways, and the wrong man is hurt: a friend, Dr. Tell.
To get medical help for Dr. Tell, Henry flies down to Sepsit's main base, which has lost communications. Down on the planet, he searches for missing scientists, medicine he can't pronounce, and video footage he needs to delete. He starts to piece together a horrifying puzzle and suspects some researchers are involved in a sinister conspiracy. It feels like paranoia, but the barrichibo beetles might be at the center of it all. When the investigation becomes unmanageable, he must decide whether to contact Star-Dom's colony ship or continue the journey alone. If he chooses to call the higher-ups, he might prevent a catastrophe but, in return, be arrested when they discover his criminal activity. On the other hand, he could prove he's not as dumb as everyone thinks and solve this mystery himself. The latter would help his career because everyone knows the company loves to reward its heroes. Maybe he can be a pilot after all.
​
​
300-word sample:
When Henry was a child, he'd often lay in the loft looking out toward the stars wondering if they had planets and, on those planets, caves, and in those caves, monsters. As an adult, he no longer has to imagine having found such a planet, but it is far from perfect. Regarding monsters, the scientists will discuss them occasionally, but for the most part, they seem more concerned with the microbes that live down on Sepsit. Those are little monsters, as Henry has come to understand them, not feasters but infesters of the flesh. Pretty unsettling stuff, and he's still learning all about it despite his best efforts.
An orange caution light sits above the bay doors and swivels inside its casing. Someone's knocking. He steps away from a pipe and onto a metal grate. His heavy boots rattle the floor. He brings his radio to his lips, "Henry Bennette, lead security officer. Visitor requesting entry to the loading bay." What a mouth full but protocol is protocol.
He taps his radio impatiently as he waits for a response.
The orange light circles back around and hits his face. It is a lousy trade-off for a setting sun, and the axe hanging under it doesn't collect wood but gathers dust. The overhead vents blow out nose-clogging air, and the pipes running to them hum. He has never been so far from home, but not because of the time or distance-- the restlessness inside him is brought out by all the twinkling lights that are not stars. The rattling generator in the corner isn't the same as the sounds of a night-shift scrap yard, and the crackles in his radio are not the mating calls of nocturnal bugs. He is not home, but flying back now would undo everything.

Hello!! First time in this sub but I’m going to be traveling with my cat this week and I’m super super nervous about it!
She’s a 2 year old girl we adopted a year ago and is very well tempered. We are going on a camper RV trip and plan to bring her along and bring her on some hikes. We have already purchased a travel litter and an expensive special backpack for her with plenty ventilation which also allows her to stick her head out the top. I’ve also purchased her a collar with an apple AirTag. My concern is the harness we have for her she dislikes and will struggle to let us put it on but then if she rolls around enough she can escape it too. I’m severely afraid of her escaping and want to make sure I do everything in my power to make sure she is safe this entire time. Her well being is my top priority. Luckily I don’t think the weather will be too hot as we’re going to glacier national park. I don’t plan on keeping her out too long or anything.
Does anyone have advice on how to make sure this trip runs smoothly? I plan on giving her treats only when we put her harness on. Unfortunately this was a very last minute trip and she’s not harness trained enough. She wouldn’t just run away from us right?? She used to be a stray so she is familiar with the outdoors but I think she is also content staying in her backpack. I don’t plan to take her out of it too much.
She does well in cars and likes being in a backpack. I’m most worried about the possibility of escape.
If you’re just gonna discourage me and shit on me please refrain from responding. I do not need anyone making me feel more anxious because she is coming. Period. I don’t plan on allowing any chances for her to escape,she won’t be walking on the leash she’ll be in a backpack hooked up to the harness.

Hi, can someone help me. There is little to none information from DeLonghi online. I had my heater for one year it worked. The second year it just wouldn't heat up, it ignites. This year I forgot about the problems of last year. It still ignites but just does not get hot or glow orange. I can see the gas releasing. Do these portable heaters have filters? I can't get the grid off the front to try shoot air through the front panels either. It's infuriating.

As the episode resumed to the heat of midday, the camera panned down from the sun and on to Topher and Ezekiel as they stalked through the savanna.
Topher stopped both of them suddenly. "Check this out," The camera features human footprints on the ground. "Those are human footprints."
"I can even see some drool," Ezekiel pointed out the specks of drool.
"That must mean Ezekiel Clone," Topher deduced, and they continued moving forward and holding out their slingshots.
"Remember, we keep calm," Ezekiel told Topher after they stopped, their bodies starting to descend.
"Right. All we have to do is set up a trap that'll lure him in," Topher claimed.
"That's a good idea, amigo," Ezekiel agreed before looking down. "What the? Uh-oh."
The scene zoomed out to show the duo sinking in quicksand. "Quicksand?" Topher realized.
"Help!" they cried out.
\
"How are we supposed to find that alien?" Owen asked the girls as they stalked through the savanna with their slingshots ready. He turned around and backed into a bush, only to hit something almost immediately. He slowly turned around to look, and his eyes went wide and the camera zoomed out as he realized he'd just bumped into a rhino's butt.
The camera panned to the animal's head as it looked backwards and snorted, and the focus returned to Owen as he screamed and took off, knocking Eva and Izzy out of the way. The rhino's viewpoint was shown, and in its eyes, Owen zipped through the savanna Road Runner style.
Izzy and Eva got up from the collision. "I am so going to kill Owen for that!" Eva declared.
"Save it for when we find him," Izzy said before they ran to locate Owen.
Meanwhile, Owen was screaming his lungs out and running until he bumped into someone and fell down. He groaned while opening his eyes, and when he saw that it was Mal he crashed into, he yelped and got up.
"What is the matter with you!?" Mal scowled in Owen's direction.
"A rhino chased me away," Owen stammered. "What about you?"
"Same thing, but with a lion instead of a rhino!" Mal growled.
"I didn't mean to run into you," Owen apologized.
"And I didn't mean to do this!" Mal took hold of Owen and hurled him up into a nearby tree. Owen hit his head on a branch, and he held onto it for safety.
"That was on purpose!" Owen confronted him, but screamed for his life.
"Maybe that'll teach you a lesson for nearly killing me, tubby!" Mal mocked him.
\
The footage returned to Ezekiel and Topher stuck in quicksand still, Ezekiel holding out a stick.
"I don't want to die in quicksand," Topher moped. "I prefer a quick death."
"Be quiet and look!" Ezekiel hushed the junior Chris when he heard the bushes rustle and Ezekiel Clone hopped out.
"Ezekiel Two. Over here," Ezekiel waved the stick in front of his clone's face, to which he snarled and bit on.
"You've got it," Ezekiel said when the feral clone dragged him and Topher out of the sand, Topher holding on to Ezekiel. "We're nearly out."
The boys were soon out of the quicksand. An antelope was heard off-screen, and as it ran past, Ezekiel Clone growled and went off to chase the animal.
"Shoot him, Ezekiel! Now!" Topher ordered. Ezekiel stood up and readied his slingshot. He shot the ball, but rather than hit the clone, it hit the intern holding a camera and knocked him to sleep, much to their disappointment.
\
The scene returned to Mal and Owen. Owen was still hanging on to the branch, but Mal was lying by the tree and whistling 'In the Hall of the Mountain King.'
Izzy and Eva arrived at last, and noticed Owen's plight. "What did you do to Owen, Mal?" Izzy squinted her eyes at Mal.
"I just gave him a little boost up that tree," Mal admitted.
"He did this to me because I ran into him by accident," Owen said.
"You are really petty," Eva told the troublemaker as Izzy stood next to the tree. Izzy kicked the tree hard, and it made Owen let go of the branch, but Eva was able to catch him in her arms.
"Call me whatever you want, but I just found some alien tracks," Mal smiled at the footprints on the ground and followed them. "Enjoy being put up for elimination!"
"Not if we beat you to it. Follow him!" Izzy commanded Owen and Eva, who obeyed willingly.
\
Back with Ezekiel and Topher, they were following the footprints until they heard the bushes rustle.
"Did you hear that?" Ezekiel asked and the bushes rustled harder.
"It must be your clone," Topher guessed and they pulled the slingshots. "Ready your tranq balls. On three. One, two, three!"
They ran screaming, and the shot cut to the bushes to reveal Mal, Eva, Izzy, and Owen coming out screaming and holding their slingshots. Topher and Ezekiel shot their balls, and the other four did the same.
One by one, the six were shown getting hit in separate shots. Owen, Mal, Topher, Ezekiel, Eva, and Izzy. A big cloud overtook the scene and vaporized to show the contestants out cold with their goggles lying on the floor.
The music note icon promptly appeared in the top-left corner of the screen, accompanied by its usual ding.
"Iiiiiit's song time!" Chris announced from off-screen, the camera panning right to show him and Chef in a jeep a couple yards away. "Hello?"
The camera was suddenly filled with darkness. "Hey!" Chris shouted as an eye opened to show Chris looking down. "Anyone in there?" The scene showed that Chris was prying Mal's eye open. "What do you prefer? Dynamite or TNT?"
"Dynamite!" Mal answered the question partly awakened.
Chris focused on the contestants lying on the ground. "Half an hour of you guys sleeping?! Oh yeah, that's gonna be great for ratings," he said cynically. "I want a song, pronto! No matter where the tranq balls hit you and how "groggy" you might be. You will be eliminated if you do not sing at least once! Now sing!"
///\
[The African drumbeat that played from earlier started the song as Chris left and the camera panned down to Mal.]
"What a sickening day on the Serengeti! I just feel like kicking a pup!"
[Mal started the first line.]
"I'll find that clone and win this game! As soon as my leg wakes up!"
[As he sang, the camera focused on his legs not waking up and laying still.]
"You ditched us and went alone! You failed, and I find that pathetic!"
[Topher sang, his face against the ground.]
"We teamed up and almost had the clone! I wish we were a bit more athletic!"
[Ezekiel sang next while on his arms, adding "Really, we were that close!".]
"Almost, doesn't count to me! You didn't catch him, that's all!"
[Eva raised her head up and sang their way, turning her head to see Izzy crawl up to her.]
"To be fair, we didn't fare well! But at least we have our balls!
[Izzy sang next. "Tranq balls, I mean," she added.]
Owen stood on his feet, wobbling his body back and forth. "I should sing or I'll get kicked out. There's something I wanna say. Rhinos…and…lions…are really scary. My body…just…feels…like…resting!" He went back to sleep once more.
[Mal was focused on again, and he was attempting to get up.]
"What a sickening day on the Serengeti! I just feel like kicking a pup!"
[Mal stood on his two feet and noticed them bending over.]
"I'll find that clone and win this game! As soon as my leg wakes up!"
[His knees collapsed to the floor and made him bend.]
"My head!"
[Eva was holding her head with one hand.]
"My hand!"
[Ezekiel rubbed his hands together.]
"My arm!"
[Izzy flexed her arms to see if they're stable.]
"My face!"
[Topher mumbled groggily.]
"Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuupppp!"
[Eva and Izzy sang together.]
"Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuupppp!"
[Ezekiel and Topher sang the last line of the song together.]
///
The shot immediately cut over to Chris and Chef. "Somebody better catch the clone fast 'cause the plane is taking off in exactly one hour, with or without you," he told the contestants, five of them standing still while Owen rested still.
Chris pinched his nose, then turned to Chef. "Man, you are ripe! But, you wanna watch the tranq ball massacre on the widescreen?" he asked.
Chef pressed down on the gas pedal and sped off, but as Chris had been standing he quickly fell off the jeep.
"Hey!" Chris called out. "Get back here! AND STAY AWAY FROM MY HOT TUB!" he yelled as he ran off after his assistant.
Eva heard the sound of snoring, and it prompted her to make her way towards Owen and kick his side, jolting him awake.
"I didn't eat the strawberry cupcakes at the bake sale!" Owen shouted. "Oh, hi Eva."
"I'm giving you one more chance," Eva warned Owen. "If you ditch me and Izzy again, you're on your own from then on!"
"I won't do it again. I swear!" Owen pledged.
"You two were right about me going alone," Mal said and strolled towards Topher and Ezekiel. "I'll work with you now."
"Now you're reconsidering your plan," Ezekiel snorted. "And what makes you think I'd assist you after you tricked Sadie and got her eliminated?"
"That girl was expandable, and I didn't want to deal with any couples left in the game," Mal explained.
"Even if they're weak-looking and easy to beat in a contest?" Topher asked.
"I'd rather take on a powerhouse than an oblivious fool anyday, anytime," Mal said proudly.
"Temporarily. We'll work together temporarily for this portion of the challenge," Topher sighed.
"That's all I need. Now here's what we're going to do," Mal got the prairie boy and the junior Chris in a huddle and whispered their plan.
Confessional: Mal
"As you saw earlier, I encountered a lion while I was by myself earlier. Having allies by your side is necessary at a time like this," Mal claimed. "Allies that are easy to shove in front of a dangerous animal and let them be devoured while I protect my life!"
Confessional Ends
The scene flashed forward yet again, this time showing Eva, Izzy, and Owen as they walked through the plains.
"I'll forgive you for leaving us behind this fast because I love you," Izzy said to Owen. "Next time won't be so easy."
"I already talked to him about that!" Eva reassured her. "You can lay off, Izzy."
"I just wanted to let him know, Eva," Izzy replied.
Owen sighed. "I'm sorry for being so cowardly. I'm too young to die, sure, but I can't ignore lives as well, especially if they're my friends." A rustling was heard just before he tripped and fell down with a cry of "Whoa!"
The camera pulled back to show Owen had fallen in a bush that was littered with red berries, with red stains all over him. "P.U. These berries are as smelly as my underwear during laundry day," he winced.
"It seems like you fell in a patch of Serengeti blood berries," Izzy told him. "They are a sight to see, but their juice smells just like fresh blood.
"I said sorry for leaving you with that rhino," Owen wailed.
"I didn't push you into that bush. You tripped and fell yourself," Eva said.
"Now I have to go wash off these blood berries," Owen moaned as he stood up.
\
The scene moved to Owen at the edge of a pond, covered in red stains. "I'd rather be covered in strawberry jam than this," he complained as he peered into the water. A rustling was heard nearby.
He paused for a moment, and looked around. "What was that?" he asked before Ezekiel Clone showed up and sniffed the air.
He perked up and the camera cut briefly to the still berry-covered Owen washing up then back to him. The clone took the opportunity and launched himself at the fun guy.
The shot cut to Mal, Topher, and Ezekiel as they arrived on the scene. "This is simply entertaining," Mal said happily over the sounds of a violent and one-sided scuffle between Owen and Ezekiel Clone.
"I'm going to shoot if you two are just going to stand there like statues," Ezekiel said impatiently.
"Someone help me!" Owen yelled.
"Help is on the way! Eva shouted as she and Izzy arrived in time. The three boys got distracted by their arrival, and Eva wasted no time taking out her slingshot and tranquilizer ball.
A close-up was shown of Eva's slingshot as the tranq ball was loaded and drawn back, and the shot moved to show Owen trying his best to keep Ezekiel Clone from punching his face.
The shot came, and immediately knocked Owen and Ezekiel Clone into a deep sleep.
"We did it! We stopped that alien!" Izzy shouted to her friend.
"Technically, I was the one who put that thing to sleep, but sure, you can leech off my success," Eva said.
Chris and Chef returned in the jeep. "Congrats, Eva. You are on your way to first class!" Chris announced.
"I would've shot that clone if I didn't lose my balls on the way here," Topher claimed.
"Whatever you say!" Chris said with a smile. "Now quick. Grab Owen and let's get the heck out of Africa before that thing wakes up!"
\
The footage skipped ahead one more time to the Total Drama Jumbo Jet as it took off from the Serengeti plains. The camera zoomed in to the top of the fuselage between the wings, Ezekiel Clone pulling himself up before prying off a panel and crawling in through the opening.
Confessional: Mal
"Looks like it's time for me to pack my bags today since I'm the one going home," Mal glumly said, but quickly smiled in satisfaction. "Or it would be if I hadn't suddenly found a loophole through all this."
Confessional Ends
A flash took the scene to the elimination chamber, where Chris was standing in the middle of the room with all six contestants. "Mmm, tension-y!" he taunted, holding out the stack of passports.
"Alrighty then, one vote for Owen. And, the lucky loser with five votes is...," Chris finally said, reading the last passport with a devilish smirk as he paused for further effect.
"Mal."
"Serves you right!" Eva smirked.
"See you never, Mal!" Izzy taunted him.
"So this is where my journey ends…" Mal scowled at the pleased faces of the contestants.
"I'd agree with that, but I have to say otherwise this time around, 'cause Mal is not the one going home tonight!" Chris announced.
"Are you kidding me?" Ezekiel yelled. "He got the most votes out of all of us!"
"That is true," Chris explained, "but I remember telling all of you to sing earlier. You did, but it seems one person broke that rule. And I specifically said that you'll be eliminated if you don't sing, so Owen, here's your parachute!"
The teens, except for Mal, gasped as Owen was given his parachute.
"You're implementing this rule now of all times?" Topher protested. "Some of us don't even sing the songs in every episode."
"True, but this time, I was placing the rule on everybody, not just a select few," Chris said.
"It is what it is," Owen sighed.
"Don't be so down. You're better than this," Izzy told him. "And you're not getting evacuated this time.
"That does make me feel a bit better," Owen smiled again. "And thankfully, Mal has been exposed to the public."
"Just one more thing before you go!" Izzy jumped into Owen's arms and they began to kiss each other.
"Ugh. This is what I wanted to avoid," Mal reacted with disgust.
Owen and Izzy finished their kiss and Izzy got off of Owen. "If you didn't know it yet, we're now boyfriend and girlfriend," Izzy reminded the funniest guy around.
"I'll miss you, but just know I'll be watching you make the finale," Owen said to Izzy and made his jump…only to get stuck in the exit. "Could somebody push me out please?"
The camera cut to the outside of the plane, and Owen could be seen falling out of the open door.
"I'm gonna miss that guy," Chris said idly as the shot cut back inside to show the host staring out of the door. "Now, Eva," the host asked as he turned back around. "Who you bringing to the big leagues?"
"It's a decision I'll regret," Eva said while Izzy smiled expectantly next to her. "But I'll have to choose... Topher."
"WHAT?!" Topher and the others reacted.
Confessional: Eva
"Izzy's my companion, but I couldn't let her be in first class for the third time in a row or her head would be overinflated with arrogance. If I bring Topher over, he could give me tips on how to stop Mal for good," Eva clarified.
Confessional: Mal
"They might miss the big boy, but getting rid of Owen for the second time was like scraping gum off my shoe," Matthew smirked. "A bit sticky, but oh so satisfying. I'll have Chris's rule to thank for that."
Without warning, the confessional door swung open and Chris leaned in. "Things are getting cra-zy!" he told the camera with an excited grin, the series' capstone theme playing in the background. "Thirteen down and only five remain," he continued as Mal scowled. "Who will almost die next? Find out right here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
He lingered in the confessional as the music ended, and finally noticed Mal. "Whaaaat?"
(Roll the Credits)
\
(Bonus Clip)
The clip opened up to a shot of Owen parachuting down. "I wanted to sing, but I was too tired to do so. It wasn't my fault."
"Like my other elimination, I was eliminated irregularly instead of just getting the most votes. I think that's lame," he admitted sadly. "On the bright side, I get to keep my brain and me and Izzy are sitting in a tree!" Owen sang. "K.I.S.S.-"
He trailed off while drifting down, eventually landing in the quicksand...right next to a lion. They were both sinking, but it didn't erase the fear in Owen's face and the viciousness in the lion's.
"S.O.S.! S.O.S.!" he told the camera as his parachute covered him completely. The lion roared heavily, and Owen started to scream for his life.
18th: Shawn
17th: Amy
16th: Lindsay
15th: Rodney
14th: Jo
Eliminated: Owen
13th: Duncan
12th: Sky
11th: Heather
10th: Cody
9th: Ella
8th: Noah
7th: Sadie
6th: Owen

Girls: Eva, Izzy
Boys: Ezekiel, Mal, Owen, Topher
Episode 21: African Lying Safari
"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened, the recap montage beginning with a long-distance shot of the cast assembled by the Great Wall of China. "Thaaanks, China, we had a blast," the host said over a shot of Sadie hitting a landmine on her tricycle and an explosion being seen in the distance. "Just not the kind associated with fun," Chris added as Sadie had her tricycle stuck and Owen was shown getting knocked off the Great Wall by Ezekiel's donkey.
"Especially for Mal," Chris said as the troublemaker was shown pedaling his bike after colliding with an explosion, "who not only had to lose to Topher," Topher was shown overlapping Mal on his skateboard, "but he also had his cover blown, thanks to Topher." The Chris wannabe was shown announcing Mal's existence to the rest of the contestants.
"And since she doubted everyone's suspicions when it came to Mal," Chris explained over a clip of Sadie exchanging gifts with Ezekiel, "Sadie was the one to get dropped off!" Sadie was shown receiving her parachute in shock, "right after she learned the truth about Mike not being in control," he added as Mal chucked Sadie out of the plane.
The scene moved to the cockpit. "We're down to the Final Six!" Chris told the camera. "Who won't make the Final Five, and how will everyone band up against Mal? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
XXXXX
The episode opened to the traditional shot of the plane in flight before quickly moving to economy class where Mal was smirking at Topher, Eva, and Ezekiel.
"So you've been taking control of Mike's body all this time?" Ezekiel griped. "You've gotten some of us eliminated and hurt Sadie and Ella."
"Noah was right about you when he noticed how slimy you were," Eva grimly said.
"I don't even regret any of it," Mal shamelessly said. "And don't even direct all of your hatred towards me. Topher's caused some eliminations as well and worked with me in the process."
Ezekiel and Eva briefly scowled at Topher. "That is true. I did get Amy, Rodney, and Noah voted off, but I simply wanted drama," Topher tried to defend himself. "Mal, on the other hand, has gotten others severely injured and has no redeeming qualities."
"You still decided to collaborate with me even after I made you peeve off Chris in New York," Mal gloated.
"You two are jerks, and I'll have no problem getting you guys off the plane by the next challenge as payback," Eva threatened.
\
The scene flashed to first class, focusing on Owen and Izzy sitting on the couch.
"So what is that thing you're holding?" Izzy pointed at the tea bag Owen was holding.
"It's love tea," Owen confessed. "This was given to me in China. It's supposed to make us love each other more or something like that."
Izzy snatched the bag and chucked it away. "Why would you think we'd need to drink this? I love you enough as it is," she said and sat on Owen's lap.
"Wait. Really!" Owen's eyes lit up.
"Of course I do. I've missed having you around on the plane for the past days," Izzy admitted. "No matter what, you'll always be my special marshmallow."
Izzy hugged Owen affectionately. "You're a wild gal indeed," he giggled coolly.
\
The footage skipped ahead to a shot of an open and sunny savanna, the jumbo jet parked in the background on the left, and a mountain range further beyond it. The landscape was dotted with acacia trees and low shrubs and a few rocks, and a compilation of hissing, hollow notes signified the heat as the camera panned to the right.
Mal, Topher, Ezekiel, and Eva were all waiting in a line. Izzy and Owen were nowhere to be seen as of yet, but Chris did soon appear in a red robe, wearing beaded necklaces and bracelets and a bald cap, and holding a spear. The appropriated outfit earned chuckles from the three boys, and Eva grinned as well.
"Nice dress!" Mal said through his laughter.
"It's traditional Maasai warrior garb," Chris explained, "and, it came with this!" He grinned as he held up his spear, and threw it towards Mal. The malevolent one yelped and moved to the side, the weapon sailing past his torso.
"Watch it!" Mal complained.
"Trust me," Chris told him. "That's the least dangerous thing that'll happen to you today. Welcome, to beautiful Tanzania," he said. "Home of the Serengeti plains, and over seventy different kinds of animals that can kill you."
"Sorry we're late!" the voice of Owen called from off-screen, distracting the group as he and Izzy ran into the shot from the left. "We got a little distracted."
"Whatever do you mean by that?" Chris wondered.
"One minute, Big O was showing me his love tea, and then the next minute, we're both talking about our favorite drinks and movies," Izzy replied.
"Are you two a couple or what?" Mal said rudely.
"No, but we're getting somewhere around that part," Owen said.
"Okay, challenge time!" Chris piped in.
\
A flash took the scene forward to a small clearing, the camera moving in past a few tufts of long grass to show the host and contestants on the left; and Chef dressed in his winter wear, a pile of purple fruit, six gourds of various shapes lined up on pedestals, and a pair of giant wooden heads flanking the whole display on the right.
"Part one combines two of Africa's most popular sports: soccer and cricket." Chris began, holding up a soccer ball and a cricket bat as the camera finished moving in for a close-up. "I call it 'Socc-et To Me'!" he declared dramatically, adding "The 'me' being you, of course."
"Why is Chef dressed up for a blizzard?" Ezekiel asked in confusion.
"Behold, the Penalty Parka!" Chris answered as the camera cut to a close-up of the sweating pilot. "I accidentally rented this coat, and since it can't fit me, I'm making Chef wear it so I can make my money's worth. Lookin' hot Chef," he taunted.
"Each player must run, one at a time," Chris continued as he spun the soccer ball on his finger, "from the starting line to that pile of African safou plums," the camera cut over to the large box of fruit. "Grab as many as you can carry, and run back. And you'll be doing all of this while your fellow competitors pummel you with soccer balls," he added with a smile as he spun his own ball around again.
"Hold on just a minute," Topher said nervously. "Do you have helmets for us to protect our faces?"
"It's Chris. The answer is obviously no," Eva told him.
"Next, take the plums you've brought back," Chris continued, "and whack 'em with the cricket bat to smash those gourds open. Like this," he said, tossing a safou high up into the air and smacking it with the bat when it came down. The fruit sailed through the air, and cracked Chef on the head, causing him to fall to the ground.
"Whoever cracks their gourd open first wins a reward that will be muy helpful in the next challenge," Chris said, ignoring his assistant. "Now, positions people! Izzy, you're up first! Kickers, get ready."
\
Another flash, and the other five players were shown in position with several soccer balls at their feet: Topher, Ezekiel, and Eva looking ready; then a side view of a smirking Mal and worried Owen.
Izzy took a deep breath at the starting line, and got into running position. "Let's do this," she said confidently.
"Ready, steady, Serengeti!" Chris called out, and a blow from his whistle signaled the start of Izzy's run.
She took off at a dash. The camera zoomed in to show her passing Topher, Ezekiel, and Eva in the background, and the three started kicking. "Is that all you got?" she called out as she turned around and kicked the ball back.
She reached the plums, scooped up an armful, and ran back to the start. Mal was shown watching her go past in the foreground, then smirked and kicked a ball her way. It hit the wild girl in the back, causing her to drop some plums and trip on the ones she'd dropped. With a startled wail, she let the rest of them fly from her hands and fell to the ground.
"Awesome!" Chris laughed. "Ezekiel, top that." He blew his whistle, and the footage skipped ahead.
\
Ezekiel gulped from his runner's start and went forward.
The first ball came from the foreground and hit him in the arm, earning a "Hey," as he slogged forward. Another "Ugh," came from a second foreground ball, and a third from a ball from the background.
"Quit complaining!" Eva said. "You're already there!"
Ezekiel smiled in revelation as he realized he'd gotten to the safous intact. "Hey, you're right!" he said in excitement, grabbing an armful of plums then turning and tripping over his own legs and landing face-first in the dirt.
"Owen, your go!" Chris announced, blowing his whistle again.
\
Owen jogged away from the starting line. The soccer balls hit him, but he managed to move on. "Dad was right. Being big does pay off!" he said positively.
The funniest guy around made it to the plums and grabbed two armfuls. He ran back to the line, and even though the balls were being kicked harder and faster, he prevailed and crossed the line with a lot of plums.
"I'd like to see anyone beat him!" Chris said. "Your turn, Topher!"
\
"I should just get this over with," Topher said to himself, racing off the starting line and immediately jumping over a ball kicked his way from behind the camera. "Please don't hit my face! I need my face!" he yelled, avoiding a second ball and covering his head. He was able to grab a load of plums.
"Maybe I could-" he said, a head-on perspective showing him running back...and getting tripped by a soccer ball on the leg from the right.
"Hey! Who did that?!" Topher asked irately, and Mal just snickered in response.
"Alright! Mal is next!" Chris declared before blowing his whistle yet again.
\
Mal took off running, and had to duck under a ball almost immediately. "Careful where you kick that!" he shot at Topher.
"No way!" Topher countered, launching another soccer ball.
"I'm going to aim for the head," Eva told him before kicking a ball of her own.
The shot cut to Mal as he narrowly dodged the second ball, but then seemed unable to dodge the third...but a ball came from the other side and struck the one Eva had kicked, and both fell to the ground harmlessly. "You have to try harder than that!" Mal taunted.
The scene skipped ahead to show Mal grabbing his plums, then turning around. Ezekiel kicked another ball, only for it to miss; the shot from Izzy that had been intended to intercept it also missed its target, though it did come close to hitting Mal.
"I am not sorry about that!" Izzy called out.
Owen kicked a ball himself, and on the other side Topher did as well. The two were shown in split-screen, Topher's going wide but then bounced back on course by Owen's, hitting Mal in the gut and knocking him over.
"How do you like that?!" Topher called out to Mal, looking somewhat pleased.
"And then there was one," Chris announced. "Bring it on, Eva!" He blew his whistle.
\
Eva's start was strong, and she immediately did a series of kicks at the first four balls sent her way. The rest of the contestants stopped and looked on in shock.
The female bully managed to bring an armload of plums back across the line without issue.
Confessional: Eva
"Is it any surprise to you that I'm a pro at soccer?" Eva gruffly told the camera. "I should just ask the producers to give me the million dollars already."
Confessional Ends
"Remember," Chris told the cast as the footage cut back to the six lined up at the starting line with their cricket bats, "first person to smash through gets the advantage! Aaaaand go!"
Izzy and Owen were shown tossing their first plums into the air and making their first swings; Owen missed and groaned in disappointment, but Izzy managed to smack her safou on the first go. The camera cut to the gourds, where Chef was sweating too profusely to try and dodge the plums that were flying his way and completely missing their intended targets but hitting him.
The shot cut in closer to Eva as he wound up and swung, then followed the plum as it shot across the field and struck a gourd on the other side: it was cracked, but not broken. "I'm more into smashing things with the bat," Eva said as the shot cut back to her.
"Mal doesn't seem to be having much trouble," Chris commented as the villain struck another plum; it, too, sped across the playing field and struck the gourd opposite and deepened an already existing crack.
"It's all in the wrist! I can feel it!" Topher confidently declared, tossing a safou of his own and twirling the cricket bat with his wrist as he swung. They connected, but the plum went up in an arc, and ended up hitting Mal in the head and interrupting his swing.
"Don't make me hit you with my bat!" Mal complained, rubbing where he'd been hit.
"You can save that for later," Ezekiel told him, taking a powerful swing himself; it managed to hit the plum straight through his gourd, finally breaking it. "Because I just won this!" he declared proudly.
"And the winner of our first challenge is, Ezekiel!" Chris announced.
"Yes!" Ezekiel announced in triumph.
\
The footage skipped ahead a little, showing Ezekiel standing on the sidelines with Chris while the other five readied their bats again, "The rest of you have ten seconds left to crack your gourd," the host told them. "And trust me, you want what's inside!"
\
Another flash ahead, and Mal was shown swinging his cricket bat and smacking a safou straight through his gourd, finally smashing it. Eva looked at him, scowled, then spun around and tossed her cricket bat like a hammer; by sheer luck, she managed to smash her own gourd with it.
Topher, taking inspiration from the girl, threw his bat as well. It cracked his gourd successfully.
Izzy was next, smacking her two safous as hard as she could, and managed to knock the gourd clear off its pedestal. Luckily, it cracked open when it hit the ground.
Last was Owen, who took a breath and readied a more traditional swing. "Okay, last one,"she said to herself, tossing the safou up and smacking it hard when it came back down. Unfortunately, however, he missed his gourd and hit Chef in the groin instead, the pilot groaned in pain and fell over.
"Broken, but not a gourd," Chris told him. "No success for Owen will make it much harder for him to deal with this!"
He pointed dramatically to the side, where a tall crate had just been wheeled in by a white male intern. Whatever was inside the crate seemed angry, growling, snarling and making the box shake.
"Uhh, should we be running right now?" Ezekiel asked as he and Izzy gave the crate nervous looks.
"Yes, you should be scared," Chris said, mostly ignoring the comment as he walked over to the crate. "Part two of our challenge is a genuine African safari. And the prey?" He knocked on the crate, which shook again as another angry growl came from inside. The contestants gasped. "Why only the most dangerous animal of all," Chris said dramatically, the intern nervously prying open the crate to reveal a metal cage within, with a familiar shadow inside.
"A clone of Ezekiel!" Chris finished, the camera zooming in on the form inside the cage.
The clone snarled from in the cage. It still looked like Ezekiel, but its clothes were torn and shabby, his footwear and hat was gone completely, and his skin had turned greenish. In addition to that, his hair was gone and only a few strands could be seen.
The cast gasped again. "Where did that thing come from?!" Topher squimished.
"Turns out it got on the plane back in Area 51!" Chris said, looking back at the cage and flinching at the glare Ezekiel Clone was giving him. "Once I checked the security footage," Chris explained as the clone snarled, "Chef went a-hunting and found the possible alien down in the hold."
"I should warn you, though," Chris said from off-screen, "he's totally feral thanks to all that time with the animals." The clone gave the camera a frightening look.
Chris turned back to the contestants. "Whoever nabs the beast known as Ezekiel Clone wins invincibility, and! First class seats to our next destination."
"With the player of our choice," Matthew said. "Where's my reward?"
"In a second!" Chris replied snippily. "Go to your gourds and check inside," he said as the camera pulled back to show Ezekiel Clone trying to reach him from his cage. "They contain what you'll use to hunt with."
"A slingshot! Cool!" Izzy said in excitement, holding up the weapon and practicing pulling it back. "I've broken a lot of windows with these as a kid!" She released the rubber band and it snapped forward.
"What's the pouch for?" Eva asked, holding up a small leather belt and pouch. "Magic beans?"
"Close," Chris told her before reaching inside her opened gourd and taking out a small, squishy pink ball. "Tranquilizer balls!" he announced with glee. "Sling 'em with enough velocity and they burst on contact, numbing the area and releasing a hearty dose of sleepy-time goodness." He turned his attention to the side. "Watch, as this intern demonstrates."
He shot a tranq ball at the intern who had wheeled in the cage, and was now eating a sandwich. The ball struck him in the shoulder and released a small cloud of pink gas, which promptly caused the man's eyes to roll back in his head before he fell over. He landed in front of Ezekiel Clone, who immediately snarled and tried to grab the fallen sandwich from his hands.
"See?" Chris said as the shot cut back to the cast. "It's like paintball, only with naps! Now, stand back people. We're gonna give the violent alien a head start. Hey Frosty!" he called back towards the cage with a laugh.
Chef was sweating through his outfit as he shakily moved a key towards the cage's lock, and at the host's call of "Release the beast!" He put it in the keyhole, turned it, and was promptly trampled as the door was slammed open and Ezekiel Clone jumped out, snarled, and ran.
"It doesn't even look like Ezekiel," Mal responded.
"That's because I'm the real deal," Ezekiel said.
"Okay!" Chris said with his usual grin. "Since Ezekiel won the first challenge, he gets six tranq balls," he said before handing over a handful of pink pellets to the grinning prairie boy. "Mal and Izzy, you cracked yours open so you get three," he told the troublemaker and psycho, handing over the ammunition as Eva and Topher looked on. "Eva and Topher, two each," the host told the pair.
"Why are you giving us two?" Eva squinted.
"We cracked our gourds too!" Topher protested.
"Technically, the two of you beat your gourds with cricket bats," Chris corrected as Ezekiel Clone could be seen chasing the intern in the background before turning to the last contestant. "And Owen, since you didn't put a dent in your gourd, you get these," he handed the food fanatic a pair of safety goggles, "and one tranq ball."
"No slingshot?" Owen asked in disappointment. "I have a lot of plums still."
"Nope. You're just gonna have to throw the balls hard enough to make 'em burst," Chris told him. "Which will be hilariously unsuccessful, I'm sure."
"Aaand," he said, the shot pulling back as Chef blew on a large horn, "go!"
At the signal, the six teens, all now wearing safety goggles, ran off.
\
The scene flashed forward to a rightward pan across the savanna, Topher speaking before the camera reached him.
"Can one of you give me an extra tranquilizer ball?" Topher said, eventually being shown traveling with Ezekiel and Mal. "Having two sucks."
"I have one more than you, and I'm going to go alone," Mal refused and left the two alone. "See you dorks after I win."
Ezekiel squinted his eyes at him. "He's a total knob. I swear."
Topher put his arm around Ezekiel. "How about we team up and take him down?" he suggested. "If he doesn't win invincibility, everyone will vote him off."
"I do like the idea of seeing him jump off the plane," Ezekiel agreed. "I'm in."
Confessional: Topher
"I know I'll be targeted next after Mal is gone, but I'll think about what to do after this day is over," Topher admitted.
Confessional Ends
"I remember watching you guys catch the Ripper back in London, but I forgot how you did it," Owen told Izzy and Eva while the three navigated.
"We had to use a burlap sack to do it, but this time, we have to roll with tranquilizer balls," Eva said.
"If you combine them all as a group, we have six overall," Izzy said.
"Six divided by three equals two, and each of us should have two tranq balls just to be safe," Owen explained.
"Keep an eye out for that clone," Eva advised her team. "We have no idea what it can do."
Confessional: Izzy
"I'm relentlessly good at tracking down prey," Izzy said. "The last time I had a date planned, this guy stood me up just to move to another state. I tracked him down, and what happened after wasn't pretty."
Confessional Ends
The scene moved to a low-to-the-ground shot of a rustling bush. Mal walked in from the left, and smirked at the bush. "Are you ready for your nap, alien reject?"
He was answered by a low roar, and a yellowish paw stepped out from the bush.
"A lion?" Mal said blankly as a male lion stepped out. "I wasn't going to tranquilize you. There's this alien-"
The lion interrupted with a roar, causing Mal to take a step back.
"I'm not wasting my ammo on this lion!" Mal yelled before turning and fleeing, and it looked like the lion was going to give chase before the sudden appearance of Chris in the foreground distracted it.
"Who will survive?" he asked the camera. "King of the Jungle, or King of the Fumble? Find out right after this, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
The lion roared at him, and he turned and fled screaming as well.
\
(Commercial Break)
\

First sorry Bad English, i'll try to be as descriptive as possible with My limited vocabulay.
This was the first time i experiment with such a high dose, it was a result of My first cultivated flush ever, i dryed them and prepare everything for the weekend, Food ready, playlist ready with psych rock, My dog, cats, GF (whom ate 3g)
I ate mixed with lemon juice, i just chew the shrooms after gettin it wet with the juice, it was weird cause generally i feel the effects 40min after but it was 90 minutes (or it felt like it) after i could only feel nausea, overwhelming nausea, i was curled in fetal position on my bed and i felt i couldnt move cause id puke, but i didnt felt 'tripping' just sick that moment i wished i ate less and felt regret, i calmed down and desided to wait to things to get better (not like i had any choise)
i when to my rooms window (with safety net because cats) to breath some fresh air, the shrooms high crawling slowly, i live in a 11th floor, i was like 6pm and the sky was Packed with dark gray clouds and heavy rain over the city, i'm just watching the clouds and rain fall when suddently i start feeling the visual effects, people walking down the street with umbrellas just shaking and distorting, the clouds deforming like a giant invisible black hole is passing by and deforming the light, id never felt that kind of 'visual deformation' with shrooms, but with LSD.
I was paralized with My head looking out of the Windows and then the visuals got a lot more heavy, geometrical patterns and fluctations so heavy i could nor really tell where the sky stopped and the city beggan, i was sitting in a chair and holding the Windows frame totally still. I entered a kind of mental loop where i felt like living alternate lives of random people walking on the street, i felt like i was them doing little things like just walking, or buying some snacks from the streets vendors, then a feeling of being an omniscient and being one with the storm, like feeling and knowing where each water molecule was at the time, like the clouds where forming a web that was spiritually conected with My soul or idk how to Even express that feeling, like i was the storm and i have always being the storm, just i didnt knew before.
i felt ansiety and fear from the overwhelming sensation of lack of control, i tried to stand up and go to bed but i couldnt, i was just glued staring at the Windows and i though 'wtf did i just eat' i was losing control of My body and i really wanted to move, for some reason i just started to wisper to myself 'im going to die, i'm going to die' but i wasn't afraid or nervous just trying to digest what i was feeling but nothing had sense to me, i crawled to bed idk how and cuddle with my cat and was feeling better, nausea was gone, but visuals are stronger than any other trip in my life, My cat was dripping and melting like a wax statue in a hot room, but also could see geometrical patterns on the 'liquid flow', really mindblowing visuals Even looking at My hand in front of My face deformed like 'pixelating' effect.
Couple of minutes later, Walls breathing, nothing was still, and every minutes that passes more movement, more fluidity and more confusion. Confussion hit me, like when you go to sleep in someone elses house and wake up and you need some seconds to adjust and realize you are not in your bed and then remember You stayed with a friend but in a bucle, constanly forgetting and realizing i was high on shrooms, and that i was in My bed, with My GF
My mind going to random memories of My life, memories of My childhood, when i was like 6 and My mom picked me from school and we had to walk a beautiful park of dense tree pines, i started crying and felt the need to tell My mom i love her but i didnt cause i couldnt (i tell her i love her everyday) , i started thinking about the people i love, My brother, My father, My girlfriend, i was just a passanger without free will just watching the movie of My life without choosing what to watch. Then i started to think about the future and My death, i imagined and felt like 50 different scenarios where i die, some with my girlfriend and children by my bedside in a hospital (i don't have any children), some when i die on a car crash, some where i was killed violently, and some where i just never came back for the trip and i was hospitized in a mental institución for life.. it was really terrifying experiencing My death and other grim destinies but i knew that none of it was real and i was trippin but couldnt stop crying.
I felt 'sleep' (more like a daydreaming void where i was awake but not a single though in My mind) and when i woke up like 1 hours later i when to my bathroom and could tell i was on the downwave of the trip, i looked at myself on the mirror and the more i started the more my face got distorted and dark, almost unrecognizable, the twitching and distorting was close to previous lower doses i had take, i was feeling more in control of the trip. I was aware of many things that are wrong with me, insecurities and negative actitudes i sometimes have than cause me trouble, i talked to myself on the mirror and promised me that i would stop complaining so much and be gratefull of my life and all the things i have, i have so much good stuff going on and sometimes i don't apreciate it. My family, beautiful loving gf, my wonderfull 3 pets that gave us their warm love during the trip and always, my career, the fact that i'm well of in a country where many suffer from hunger, i made a promise to myself that i'll be kinder and more helping towars the ones that need a helping hand, i felt like Jesus levels of love and generosity.
I went to bed again and gave a huge hug to my GF, My dog and one of my cats and we just cuddle for a long time all in peacefull stillness. The rest of the trip was smoth sailing, we smoked a left over joint and then paused the music and played 'community' on Netflix and we were just laughting, missing, having a good time, still very high and a litte confused but with our feet on planet earth, we ate a rice with lentejas and just chilled the rest of the night. I just woke up, 8:20am right now, Well rested, but a little mentality fatiged, i'm gonna make some eggs for breakfast.. i still have like 20-30 grams of shrooms drying but i think i'll wait a couple of months before trying again, i think next time 5-6g Will be enough.

Context: Hi. Long time lurker, this is my first excerpt posting on this subreddit so excuse me if I mess it up. That being said, I really liked the Shadowsun book and it was great reading the wider T'au Empire (and not just the Enclaves) truly making contact with actual Chaos forces in a widespread manner for the first time. Shadowsun's cold logic is well contrasted vs the hellish joviality of the Death Guard Legion Astartes she confronts.

The Death Guard had finally shown their hand.
Shadowsun focused her ballistics suite as the invaders came within range. She made out a robed figure in the newcomers’ midst, hunchbacked and twisted as he leant on a staff like the limb of an ancient tree. A twisted, hideous thing that appeared to have a helm cast in the image of a blowfly loomed behind it. On one side was a three-horned giant in exaggerated armour that looked more like a set of cracked and seeping scabs than a functional assemblage of metal, and on the other was a huge, broad-shouldered warrior wielding a primitive but enormous scythe. The last of this foul quartet was laughing at her, pointing at her with one giant hand.
‘– – AH – – AND THERE SHE IS – – ’ spooled the autotrans, rendering the guttural Imperial Gothic of the gue’ron’sha into intelligible screeds of t’au. ‘– – THE QUEEN OF THE TECH-HIVE – – COME BROTHERS – – LET US TEACH HER WHO TRULY REIGNS HERE – –’
The gue’ron’sha moved with a slow, powerful certainty, spreading out into a wide diamond shape. Shadowsun cast a glance at her disposition suite, sketching the Projection of Force an intercept course. The bait was taken.
‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Come in nice and close.’
They were the leaders of the enemy fleet, she would stake her life on it. Gue’ron’sha commanders were famous for wanting the choicest kills for themselves, respecting only displays of raw strength.
Sure enough, the scythe-wielder who had addressed her lumbered towards her with his weapon raised. The warrior was huge, his blade swinging in front of him like a pendulum as if in challenge. She sent a blinding double beam of fusion energy to greet him, but it sizzled to nothingness as it hit an invisible shield.
‘– – TRY HARDER – – LITTLE PREYLING – –’
Gritting her teeth, she feigned a withdrawal, backing off at a measured pace to keep the newcomers’ focus on her. Already her suit’s systems were reading them, delving into the T’au Empire’s records and cross-correlating the results from Kellik and Calendula.
‘You defile this place with your presence, warriors of the Death Guard.’ Her autotrans relayed it from her suit’s speakers in the water caste’s best Imperial Gothic. By their laughter, these bloated horrors understood her just fine.
She felt the acid of scorn rise within her in response. They thought their technology advanced? Their brutish weapons were solid-shot ballistics, powered gauntlets and blunt instruments. Oe-hei was more than capable of dealing with such primitive tools of war, and if not, her armour would be up to the task.
‘This world does not belong to you, nor your infected kin. Leave now, or feel the full force of our wrath.’
‘– – WHO ARE YOU TO WELCOME YOUR NEW KING IN SUCH A MANNER – –’ said their leader. He was stalking forward, toying with her as if he had all the time in the world. Hobbling up to join him at his side was a cowled and hunchbacked grotesque. His puffy face had something like a sinkhole in its middle.
‘I am called Shadowsun, high commander of the Fifth Sphere Expansion.’ She planted her feet and stood her ground, guns raised. ‘I am well versed in the inadequacies of your kind.’
‘– – YOU MAY CALL ME LORD GLURTOSK – –’ said the scythe-wielder. ‘– – OH – – SUCH GIFTS WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU – –’
‘– – THE EMBRACE OF ENTROPY IS A BLESSING – –’ said the cowled, bent elder. ‘– – LET US FREE YOU FROM YOUR CLEAN WHITE SHELL AND GIVE YOU A GLIMPSE OF WHAT WE BRING TO YOUR LITTLE EMPIRE – –’
Blinking through her suit’s weapon suites, Shadowsun brought up the symbol of a halo made of lightning – that of her suit’s emergency electro­paralysis field. It was draining to her power source, but in theory it could be devastating against foes in powered armour, crippling them then and there. She triggered it, and a pulse of electromagnetic energy pulsed outward.
A shimmering force field flared around the Death Guard’s leader. It mingled with her energy pulse, a storm of tiny, writhing energy traces ­crackling around the newcomers before dissipating.
No effect.
Another volley from her fusion blasters, their intensity at maximum. Still that writhing, greasy-looking shield of force protected them from its burning wrath.
Her battlesuit blipped a proximity alarm. A knot of slumberers was closing on her from behind. Her blood felt sluggish and hot. The intruders had been playing for time, just as she had.
Oe-hei bravely interposed himself, ramming one of them in the throat as he sent a shimmering shield of energy to hold back the others. One of the fallen lurched upwards and grabbed him, dashing him to the ground. The slumberers came forward as one, babbling half-cogent phrases, muttering and tutting as their eyes flickered behind mildew-gummed lids.
She leapt sidelong on instinct, blasting flechettes at the nearest slumberer. So many hit home they sent him reeling backwards with a full inch of flesh torn from his torso. Kicking out at a second with a jarring impact, she sent a fusion blast into the guts of a third, cutting her in two at the waist. Too close to evade, Oe-ken-yon rammed another, only to be caught by a lurching sleeper that looked no older than fifteen t’au’cyr. The human gripped the drone tight and dashed him into the stone lintel at the edge of the bridge before stumbling away as if drunk.
She heard more laughter, then. One of the diseased gue’ron’sha was chanting rhythmically in a language even the autotrans could not parse, tendrils of black smoke pouring from his filth-encrusted fingernails. The others were simply watching her as she fought for her life.
‘– – SHE IS FASTER THAN SHE LOOKS – – THIS ONE – –’ said the one called Glurtosk.
‘– – HARD TO SEE HER – – CLAD IN MIRAGES AS SHE IS – –’ said his cowled attendant. ‘– – MAYBE SHE NEEDS A MANTLE OF FLESH TO DRAPE AROUND HER SHOULDERS – –’
‘Shimmersky, the Manta is en route but I’m out of time here, and the Devilfishes are already away. If you can find a way to focus fire on the hostiles on the bridge west of your–’
A pair of slumberers yanked at her weapon arm, then, pulling her off balance with uncanny strength. ‘Now!’ she cried. ‘Shimmersky, now!’ Her damage control suite flared red in three places, the battlesuit’s arm twisted so badly it would hardly respond to her haptic link.
‘High commander, something is choking the engines, I–’
Shadowsun felt something slam into her helmet and went down onto one knee, her broken jetpack flaring. She batted her assailants away with the barrels of her fusion blasters. Her second blow connected hard with the temple of one of the sleepers, sending him veering away, but another attacked her almost immediately, fists hammering hard enough to dent the hyperalloy of her suit and send alerts blaring across the plexus display. She discharged her missile pod at close range as the smell of burning filtered in through the olfactory link, blasting another two of the sleepwalkers to messy chunks and bowling her backwards in the blast.
It bought her a moment, but a microdec later another of the gue’la sleepers fell across her from behind, pinning her arm at an awkward angle. She jerked hard in her control harness, the haptic links sending her battlesuit flipping almost upright as she tried to shrug off her assailant. It clung on tight until Oe-ken-yon burst from a tangle of corpses and rock dust to ram it away from her. More of the nightmare-things were emerging to encircle them, and the gue’ron’sha warriors, unhurried, were stamping in close.
Surrounded, cut off and earthbound, she rolled over the edge of the bridge’s ornate stone railings and dropped like a stone.

​

Hello everyone,
Last January, I purchased a CX-60. As it is still difficult to find user reviews of this model, I took the time to write this review in the hope that it can be helpful to you if you are considering buying this car. I hope that my experience can answer some of your questions and assist you in your decision-making process.
Exterior Design (4/5)
The design is particularly successful. The car has a sleek look and gives the impression of being in motion even when stationary, just as the designers promised during the design phase. It has nothing to envy compared to its competitors, such as the Audi Q5. Although I'm not a big fan of black rims, I must admit that they blend harmoniously with the Takumi package on this model. The black accents on the rims, tinted windows, and mirrors create a visual signature that doesn't go unnoticed. Unlike most models, it stands out more in person than in photos, especially in terms of size. It is truly massive. For comparison, it is longer and taller than an Audi Q5. When you see it for the first time, the "wow" effect is guaranteed. However, the rear of the vehicle is less expressive and does not do justice to the front and side views. Fortunately, the quad exhaust at the back helps maintain the sporty character of the model.
Interior Design (5/5)
The interior layout is clean, simple, and modern. It features a large central screen, a minimally customizable driver display, and a head-up display integrated directly on the windshield. This efficiency will surely appeal to those who struggle with screens everywhere displaying unnecessary information. Similarly, you cannot customize the ambient lighting in the evening. The lights are fixed, in a neutral color, and the adjustment only offers 3 intensities. It may not be to everyone's liking, but personally, I find it liberating to be free from countless customization possibilities that always leave a sense of dissatisfaction. As for the materials, they come in understated colors and durable textures, both in terms of aesthetics and longevity (at least for now, time will tell). The center console is impressively wide and gives a sense of space rarely felt in vehicles of similar size. When driving this car, you feel like you're aboard a large American SUV like the Suburban or Ford Explorer. Unfortunately, there are not many storage compartments. The huge center console only offers a tiny compartment that can hold a few small items and keys at most. The door pockets are also very low and not very practical.
Ergonomics (4/5)
The cabin offers generous space for all occupants, including the rear seats where even adults over 1.80m tall have ample legroom. The seats, which are rather firm and have limited adjustments, can be surprising at first, especially if you're coming from a vehicle with a multitude of settings. In the first few days, I experienced sharp back pain, especially since the car lacks flexibility as I'll mention later. After three weeks of adjustment, the pain disappeared, and I even noticed an improvement in my posture. In my previous vehicle, my seat was so comfortable, like a sofa, but now I realize it was bad for my back. Inside this car, with its comfort inspired by Japanese tatami mats, I ultimately feel better, less slouched, and more alert. The trunk offers significant capacity, especially compared to similar models. However, it doesn't have a dual compartment or a sub-trunk to store charging cables. The tailgate rises very high, over 3 meters. It struggles to lock in place when encountering resistance, which can damage it from the first uses. I recommend adjusting it by pressing the closing button while it's opening, to lock it at the desired height, and holding down that button for 5 seconds (until you hear a series of beeps) to limit the opening range.
Technologies and Equipment (3/5)
The connectivity is quite comprehensive, although Apple CarPlay suffers from some instability and unexplained bugs (random disconnections, unexpected cuts, slowdowns, random automatic connection). Wireless charging also sometimes poses a problem. It works randomly and seems to generate a lot of heat on the phone. When not in use, an error message keeps flashing, indicating that no phone is being charged.
As for driving aids, the lane-keeping system works very well, although it is not autonomous. If you don't have your hands on the wheel, the car behaves like a billiard ball, bouncing from one lane to another. However, if it deviates from its trajectory because you're not attentive enough, it will alert you and secure the car by making a steering correction. It's very reassuring and always activated at the right time. Moreover, it's even a valuable aid on high-speed winding turns, on certain departmental roads. Other vehicles end up cutting through the turns or having to slow down excessively, while you effortlessly stay precisely in your lane.
I was very disappointed with the cruise control, which is not adaptive. Later, I discovered that it is an option that is disabled in the software since all the necessary sensors are already present. You can confirm this through ActiveSense, which provides a complete view of surrounding vehicles. So, I wanted to add this option later, willing to bear the cost, but Mazda doesn't allow it. This strategy, or lack of a sales strategy, is surprising.
The temperature management inside the car is surprising. Without changing the temperature settings in automatic mode, during a long drive, there is a yo-yo effect that is difficult to explain. One moment, it feels quite cool, and a few minutes later, it becomes too hot. I wonder if it's related to the external brightness because on a hot spring day, the air conditioning temperature suddenly rose when the sky suddenly became overcast. However, it was still hot outside. I think there's an overly reactive adaptive mode at play.
The remote car management is quite good. It's possible to activate the heating or air conditioning, which will run for a maximum of 30 minutes before shutting off and sending a notification to your phone. You can extend it if you have a good signal. The car surprisingly receives a signal in unexpected places, even in underground parking lots where my phone has no network. This remote temperature mode is ideal for defrosting the car or leaving a dog inside during cold weather or in the summer when the temperature rises quickly in a closed and parked car. I've tested it in extreme cold and hot seasonal temperatures, and it works very well so far. Of course, it consumes a lot of energy, but you can't have everything without a trade-off. It's suitable for occasional use. The rest of the remote features include locking the car, checking tire pressure, consulting the range, and receiving alerts if the alarm is triggered, which is very reassuring. It's also possible to locate the car precisely. It's a shame that we can't access the cameras, as in other fully electric models.
It's not clear in the vehicle manual, but to deactivate the alarm, you need to press the alarm button on the remote right after locking the car. The indicator will blink 4 times, and then it will be turned off. It's better to do it before leaving your dog alone, or else the alarm will be triggered if the dog moves inside the vehicle.
Performance and Driving Dynamics (4/5)
I own the 327-horsepower PHEV model: 200 horsepower from the atmospheric gasoline engine and 127 horsepower from the electric motor. Although the low-end power is reduced with an atmospheric engine, the electric motor more than makes up for it with its responsiveness and instant torque. Despite its weight, the car is very agile. It even outperforms some more powerful or lighter petrol-powered cars in terms of acceleration. Of course, such models regain the advantage in corners, but not in straight lines. The acceleration is impressive, although the road noise insulation somewhat dampens the sensation. Other vehicles seem almost stationary when you step on the accelerator.
I was initially disappointed with the braking performance, which was less impressive than in my previous vehicle. However, by pressing the pedal harder and adjusting the regenerative braking to the maximum, I managed to get used to it.
The handling is remarkable. Although it's not a sports car capable of maintaining very high speeds in corners, it still surpasses similar-sized competing models. Thanks to the four-wheel drive and four-wheel steering, the turning angle and trajectory in corners are impressive for a car of this size. One of the drawbacks of the vehicle lies in the stiffness of the suspension. Despite the excellent noise isolation, you feel the road imperfections more than you would expect when driving an SUV. Even at low speeds, speed bumps are very uncomfortable and cause items in the trunk to bounce around. Mazda seems to have made this choice to prevent the relatively high car from swaying in corners and reduce the risk of rollovers at high speeds. Adaptive suspension could have solved this problem. However, considering the pricing position against the competition, I understand why the brand overlooked this aspect. Moreover, after 3000 km, I noticed that the suspension has become slightly softer, improving comfort to some extent.
Energy Efficiency and Range (2/5)
The consumption and hybridization aspects encompass the majority of the vehicle's drawbacks. The car discharges quickly, and the actual range is much lower than what the manufacturer claims. Like many owners, I also face a discharge issue when the car is parked. It loses about 30% of charge in 24 hours (and even drains the 12-volt starter battery - as if the headlights were left on). This problem is due to software that prevents the car from entering sleep mode. I have already taken my vehicle to Mazda for reprogramming, and I will have to do it again soon because the issue is still unresolved (now I lose 15% in 24 hours). This problem is not part of the manufacturer's recalls, but many owners are affected. Dealing with a less established manufacturer, this can quickly become a headache. I had to go through many steps and cancel orders for other CX-60s for my company before being taken into consideration by the after-sales service. During my third call, Mazda France assistance even replied to me that they are not Audi. The message is quite clear.
Beyond this specific issue, the management of hybridization lacks customization and seems suitable for a specific use case only. If you live in a house, always have the car plugged in, and regularly make short trips, this plug-in hybrid is suitable. However, if you cannot plug it in daily or if you regularly drive more than 50 km round trip, you might be disappointed. Especially considering the consumption of this car in electric mode, it is often more expensive to charge it than to refuel with gasoline. The cost per 100 km is 2 to 4 times higher at current energy prices. Personally, I opted for the hybrid due to the tax incentives and benefits, but I also wanted to take advantage of remote heating and air conditioning options, especially when I have to leave my dog in the car for a few minutes. Since I cannot recharge it daily in the parking lot of my building, it would be desirable to be able to keep a charged battery and drive in combustion engine mode, but no mode truly allows that. It is possible to choose to recharge the car while driving, consuming approximately 13 liters per 100 km, but you cannot choose to drive solely on the combustion engine without using the high-capacity battery. The sport mode comes close, but the gears are shifted at high RPM, making the driving experience jerky and particularly noisy, and the battery is used as soon as you accelerate a bit (to activate the 137-horsepower motor). An exclusively combustion engine mode would have been relevant, similar to the exclusively electric mode. Furthermore, recharging the battery while driving doesn't work correctly. The recharge is very fast, much faster than when it's connected to 7 kW chargers. However, the displayed percentage does not correspond to the actual charge, which explains why it continues to recharge beyond the set percentage. For example, if you're at 30% and ask the car to recharge up to 50% while driving, it will work at a high rate until it reaches 50%. In normal mode, it will stop recharging the battery, but will continue operating at a high rate to not drop below 50%. So, you end up consuming more without reason, with the engine noise constantly high, which is quite unpleasant. In sport mode, it will continue recharging the battery above 50% without any limit. However, once the car is stopped and restarted, you'll notice that you weren't at 50%, but rather at 35%. The fast recharge was, therefore, fictitious. The problem is that this is a first for Mazda in terms of technology, and no one there is able to provide answers on this matter. The garage I visit explains that Mazda is highly centralized and communicates very little in terms of engineering with the garages. It is, therefore, common for a problem to persist for several months (or more) before being addressed at the technical management level in Japan and then transmitted to local dealerships. However, when deciding to market a technologically immature car, it would be wise to establish a continuous improvement process based on user feedback. In fact, on forums, we can see that Japanese users receive preferential treatment compared to the rest of the world. In conclusion, the battery of this car, which needs to be recharged at a high cost, is only useful for the first 40 kilometers. So, you spend over 3 hours recharging a battery at an exorbitant rate for only 25 or 30 minutes of driving without using gasoline. One might wonder if it's simply a trick to equip professionals, allowing them to benefit from incentives and reduced tax on company vehicles (the primary reason for my purchase). I think many people will never plug it in.
Cost and Value for Money (4/5)
The value for money of this model is indeed very interesting when compared to vehicles of the same standing from other brands, such as Audi. For example, an Audi Q5 offers a similar level but with an additional cost of €25,000. For the same price as a Mazda CX-60, you would only get a Q3 from Audi, which is clearly not comparable. However, it is important to note that the depreciation of this vehicle could be significant, and it might even become difficult to resell it in a few years. This is also true for all plug-in hybrid models. Therefore, I would recommend this model, provided that you negotiate the price well or opt for a lease (the offers are very attractive, and personally, I chose this payment method). The PHEV configuration of the vehicle is suitable for individuals who have daily access to a charging point and have diverse travel needs, ranging from short to long trips. Before the increase in electricity prices, the cost per 100 km was slightly more advantageous compared to gasoline, but today it is the opposite (except when charging from a domestic socket).
Conclusion
I am delighted with this car considering the price at which I acquired it. The positioning is unbeatable, and there are good deals to be made to drive this luxury sports SUV at the price of a "regular" SUV. With a domestic electric socket, choosing the plug-in hybrid is a good middle ground. It's just a shame that the hybrid management is not more refined. Perhaps future updates will address these teething problems.

I built my son a cheap gaming PC a few months ago, built around second hand parts. It's basically a Ryzen 5 3600, 16GB RAM and a 1080GTX GPU and a 650W PSU. The case I used was an old one I had lying around and was quite tight. It all worked fine for the last few months, but now the weather has started to get significantly warmer here in UK, it's started shutting down randomly.
I'm pretty sure it's a temperature thing. Evidence is :

• it worked perfectly well until the weather turned warmer
  
• it only ever shuts down under high load - e.g. in the middle of a game of Fortnite or FIFA. Neever when just browsing the web, etc. He left it on all night to download from Steam and it didn't crash.
  
• I put a big fan (the sort you cool a room down with) blowing cold air directly into the case and this stops it from crashing - not crashed for 2 days with it, removed it today and it crashed again within 30 minutes.
  

So - as I thought it was definitely temperature related, and the case was far too small, I purchased a bigger gaming case that has more room for airflow and 4 case fans. I put these in this morning, but within the hour, it had reset twice.
I need help for a couple of things please?
(1) Is there a way of determining whether it's the CPU, GPU or power supply that is causing the issue? Is there software that will log the CPU and GPU temperature at regular intervals, or log impending failure?
(2) How should I put the fans inside the case - at the moment I have two on the top of the case and one either side, but not sure if they are sucking or blowing... what's the best arrangement?
(3) At the moment, he's using it with the sides off, but would it be cooler with the sides of the case on if the fans are all running?
(3) Could it be anything else? Or anything else I can do? It's only a cheap gaming rig, it's shouldn't need watercooling!
Thanks in advance :-)

Let's see? It all started when I was working for something like 7 months in the city of Coquimbo in Chile. Specifically, I was working as a journalist for a local newspaper and a small news channel, it was not the best job in the world but it was not so terrible if we consider that my dream was to be a writer. One day I was being required travel outside the city, particularly to Salamanca and do a report of those that you find at the very end of the newspaper or when you can't sleep and you're lying down watching TV in the middle of the night just to give visibility to small towns and communities, filled with some random ads and stuff, again, it was not the best job in the world, but I guess everyone else started with something like this.
I needed to be there in the morning so I mentally prepared myself with a good cup of coffee and some cigarettes, threw only what was necessary for the luggage rack and managed to say goodbye to my relatives, may sound like a dumb tradition but you never know ... on the road shit happens and for me, that isn't something new, I lived day by day in the office writing columns and sending reports where the number of deaths, the causes of the crashes and the photos, makes you wonder it could have been you or someone you know. But, despite that I preferred to go in my own car, I have never been able to fall asleep inside a bus on the road and moreover, it seems that almost all accidents occurred on these buses, in a certain way, my job was making me go all paranoid.
the car's engine started at 9:00 p.m. and there was a little drizzle but nothing serious, folk music on the radio was a good accompaniment while the city nightlife looked at me with his blinding lights in my attempt to escape the "fish smell" of Coquimbo. I drove for a while until I was entering the sister city of La Serena, and I stopped to eat some fast food, I tried to get in fast to avoid getting wet, I ordered another coffee and french fries to eat.
-Hey young man, where are you going at this hour with this rain, everyone else is at their homes sleeping and resting, do you want to catch a cold? I haven't noticed that an elderly woman was attending me. -I'm going to Salamanca. -And what do you intend to do in Salamanca? that's no place for nosy people or city dwellers The lady left me intrigued and I didn't even have to ask her to answer me. -some people there don't like to be disturbed you know, you can get an evil glance there, some "evil eye" stuff you know. - No, ma'am, I'm going to report a news story, I'm a journalist and besides that, I'm a little skeptical about that kind of thing.
The old-lady ended the conversation with a crooked smile and continued with his own things but deep down myself, the answer he gave me left me with chills, I was not a superstitious person but the seriousness of his face unsettled me. I took the last sips of coffee to wake up and said goodbye to my french fries trying to awkwardly get into the car. The conversation haunted me for a couple more miles, for some reason I was left with a feeling of latent nervousness and with the last lights of the city fading in the rear-view mirror, I began to remember the stories that my grandparents told me as a child... The witches of Salamanca, the cave of Manquehua, and other stories that were part of the folklore began to settle in my head. It was interesting to me to imagine these characters, covered in their black cloaks, walking hidden paths through the forests to celebrate within their covens in Manquehua in the middle of the night. Occasionally I was assaulted by the idea of ​​running into a "Tue Tue *" bird of bad omen on the way to Salamanca, or that a "chupacabra" jumped from the bushes onto the road, it is curious how "ghastly" this can be yet so interesting at the same time despite causing us fear.
The electrifying sound of white noise coming from the radio interrupted my thoughts, I was reaching the famous dead zones of the road. From time to time I noticed that there were abandoned houses, fenced lands, among other things but nothing out of the ordinary; It is very common for people to live in these rural areas for a while and then leave to look for jobs in the big cities, especially considering that the urbanization and modernization of our country had only happened a couple of decades ago, more precisely in the year 1970.
I look at the time and it is already 11:30 p.m. This trip is getting too slow for me, to make things worse the rain got stronger, the hours go by and I pass through a couple of towns, so I decided to park my car to smoke a cigarette before reporting to my family by phone, it's funny how people automatically have an infinite amount of topics for conversation when you're away, but they hardly even speak when you are close, later than ever I cut the call and the lights where extinguishing behind the vehicle again and disappeared in the middle of the dark, again it's just me and the road. The headlights of my car were fighting to illuminate against the darkness. The clock arrives at 02:42 A.M and The yawns start to escape from my mouth, there is no radio or telephone signal anymore, at this time you only occasionally see buses passing by on the road, a couple of cars if you are lucky enough but most of the time the road is abandoned. The rain gives me an unpleasant sensation now that there is so little light. Again I picked up the wrongest moment to remember the conversation I had with that old lady...
-you can get an evil glance there, some "evil eye" stuff you know.
A shriek on the side of the road scared the shit out of me, I saw a shadow rushing against my car and I stepped on the brake with all my strength next thing I know was the sound of the car window crashing and everything went black... pitch black.
It felt like time has stopped and I could only hear the rain, I don't know how much time passed by but it felt like a dream or perhaps, maybe a nightmare? I woke up with a terrible headache but apparently my body was intact, the glass was shattered all around the car and the clock said that it was 03:00 A.M. drops are falling inside the car, I try to sit up still scared to look outside but I notice that the lights were destroyed, I see nothing but shadows. I feel a stabbing pain in my face and it seems that I cut part of my face in the accident. I get out of the car nervous and listen as the glass chips on the pavement creak, maybe I could have driven over a horse or maybe some farmer. I try to illuminate a little with the cell phone flashlight and I notice part of the front glass scattered on the asphalt, a slight dent but there are no traces of blood, I try to calm down and take a couple of steps through the rain to see further and between the rain and the nothingness I could see with my eyes a body in the middle of the road.
I thought I must help, maybe I broke one of his legs or worse. walking a little bit faster I managed to get close enough, I was shouting at the body expecting some reply or at least some whining but no one answered and I feared the worst. My heart stopped for a second, I took a step forward to see the face of this body and everything seemed so surreal, it was a mannequin with hollow eyes.
I didn't know what where happening, a mannequin dressed in an old poncho in the middle of the road away from everything, a fucking mannequin. Fear seized me, I looked in all directions searching and searching but I couldn't see anything, what the hell was a mannequin doing in the middle of the nowhere? My head was spinning, and the sound of the rain wasn't helping. until I realized something. The question was not, what was the mannequin doing on the road? But who brought it? For a moment I gazed at the mannequin's empty sockets and then I heard a breath close to me, I wasn't alone.
My heart was racing, maybe they wanted to rob me or some crazy shit, I tried to take a glass from the floor and use the phone light to see around me to get back into the car, the seconds seemed like hours as I slowly walked, I thought about running but I felt that it could be worse, I felt stalked and when my legs began to tremble It was not very helpful either. A little before I got to the car I noticed several footsteps moving around me, they were watching me closely. I heard a sound behind me and the mannequin had disappeared, I was definitely not understanding a shit and I couldn't overcome the anguish anymore so I ran desperately towards the car but someone pushed me. I hit my face with the cold ground and tried to get up as I could throwing punches into the air trying to hit whoever was there, but it was in vain. The radio of the car started emitting white noise again with some random mumbling, I was not seeing damn shit and while I was trying to place the cell phone shining directly in front of me something had gripped me by my hand. I felt another blow and this time my cell phone hit the wet asphalt, lighting someone's shoes, with one stomp they broke the phone. I could only notice my car thanks to the taillights and I was completely blind now.
The rain seemed to be falling in slow motion and every second seemed eternal to me. My hands trembled trying to prepare a decent punch, a decent cut, or anything to whatever it was out here to defend myself. My head was spinning and my heart was racing and then someone took me by the shoulder, I could not see anything but I threw punches and kicks that got everywhere, they tried to grab my feet and I tried to get free the fastest I could until I finally managed to nail that fucking piece of glass and I was released, I fell my back to the floor. A murmur began to sound louder and I could feel someone breathing and gasping around me; I ran as I could towards the car again with my heart beating a thousand times per hour. I almost plunged into the vehicle and without thinking I start the car. A groan of pain was heard along with a loud buzzing and I closed all the doors and I shit you not the damned car didn't want to start, the rain only became even worse and my nerves were about to explode when a hand smashed against the car windows, then two hands and seconds later all the windows were covered, they were trying to break into the vehicle, I could no longer bear the fear, I started screaming like a crazy, I jumped on the seat and I screamed until my mouth hurts; With a kind of tantrum I started to force the car to start with kicks and blows, the vehicle roared and I hit the accelerator. When I looked straight ahead I saw a figure that shouldn't have been there and my throat felt tight; wrapped in a black cloak, just where the damn mannequin was, someone was holding his shoulder where perhaps I had nailed the piece of broken glass. The lack of front light and the rain did not allow me to distinguish his face.
I accelerated as fast as I could, flailing inside the car from side to side, I didn't care about anything anymore, I rolled everything that was ahead. I heard a couple of crunches, a gasp, and the car started to jump until a dead silence was present, I turned to look back and all sense of logic disappeared while a death-cold chill was traveling my spine. The yellowish taillights dimly illuminated a highway full of motionless bodies that shouldn't be there, couldn't be there; They were a bunch of mannequins totally still, lined up in my direction. I put my head down and hid it between my shoulders so I couldn't look anywhere, I felt like a little boy, I felt tiny inside the car in the middle of the blackness of the road knowing that the mannequins were behind me, I kept like this several minutes trying to focus on anything else while the car kept accelerating, my back felt cold, the truth is that I was sweating cold, I did not understand anything and the stabbing pain in my forehead returned to me; It was a superficial but fairly long cut, it was a miracle I didn't pass out and was able to drive straight with all this shit happening.
The rain insisted on reminding me of the conversation with the old woman at the fast food place, maybe she was right. -Why the hell did I have to come to Salamanca, maybe the witches had something to do with it !? Lots of ideas pounded my head as the car lost into the blackness, now I was alone again. I thought about reviewing what had happened and recovering my composure, I tried to play dumb and ignore everything until I noticed little orange lights on the black horizon; I had arrived into Salamanca and I went straight to the 1st town police station to report what had happened. I Poorly parked the car and launched myself into the station to seek some help.
It was already 07:00 A.M and the sun was about to rise, I lost track of time completely, I don't know how long I was on the road or how much time I spent at the police station. I nervously told the officers everything that had happened, they looked at each other and took me to the local hospital to verify injuries; Throughout the process, I noticed that they were looking at me strangely but there was a certain secret look in them, those kinds of looks that as a journalist you can notice. The day was cloudy and the sun did not appear, the rain was losing strength and I tried to assert my right to report until they ended opening an investigation by sending a patrol. With 3 points on my eyebrow and bruised face I tried to find somewhere to rest and eat something to close my trip, there was a middle-aged gentleman who, while eating, took the opportunity to ask me what had happened to me, I told him almost everything, at least I could Let me vent more openly without looking like a drunk or crazy inside a police station.
After a while where the man listened attentively to me, he sighed and took out a pack of cigarettes, finished lighting him and said: -Maybe they wanted to rob you. Maybe he was right, but his face changed completely when I insisted on the mannequin again. He took a glance over my shoulder and then fixed his eyes with mines. -Son, look. These things are not discussed here, do what you have to do and leave later, lest you end up traveling in a box to Manquehua. Again a chill settled on the back of my neck, and I decided not to ask any more questions. I didn't want to make my situation even worse. –Hey, and don't you know where I can rest? He finished smoking my cigar and this time he offered one to me.
Standing still in a town in the middle of nowhere smoking a cigarette a fucked up car? at least things can't get worse, I could watch the smoke and forget everything for a moment.
I arrived at the hostel that the man with the cigarettes recommended to me and slept for a while but I was still nervous so I took advantage and realized that there was a mechanic nearby, got a deal with him and I left my car for a few weeks under repair, took everything I was carrying in the luggage rack and I went straight to the earliest bus back to Coquimbo, I was no longer interested in the news or the job, I just wanted to get away from this place as soon as possible and whatever the fuck the Salamanca people hides, I don't care if they were witches or someone wanting to assault me, I know what I saw.
The local police called me later that day because the investigation did not show anything more than the possibility of an attempted assault on the road, they dismissed everything for lack of imputable candidates, but the truth is that at this point I don't give a damn; I am cornered to the window of this bus trying to forget and the orange light that glimpses within the clouds that remain, reassures me a little and helps me not to think about what my bosses would tell me for not attending the report and arriving empty-handed. I lost myself looking at the landscape while it stops raining and I found a moment of peace but, for some reason, among all the things that can be seen on the road, my eyes fell directly on a small scruffy cabin in the middle of this vast nothingness and in its windows I got to see a lot of mannequins looking towards the highway, right to where I was now. There were a lot of hollow eyes waiting for me somewhere on the road of Salamanca.

Hi Reddit, it's my first post after a long time just as a reader. It's an important decision and I thought it was my moment to come to the community for advice.
We're looking for the dog breeds that better fit our lifestyle and preferences.
We have a 5yo daughter, very well behaved (she won't mistreat the dog and will try to help us up to her possibilities), and live in a big house (several sets of stairs, in case it could be relevant) with a nice yard and a swimming pool for the summer.
I've done my homework before coming for help and already filled the questionnaire, so let's go:
1) Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs? Had a German shepherd dog when I was 15. Took care of him and trained him on the basics (potty train, sit, come, stay…) with reasonable success. He died too young at 5. Also lived with several dogs (and took care of them) during the summers while working in an endangered species center for two months every summer. 2) Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a reputable breeder? I like the idea of adopting, but having a 5 year old daughter I’m closer to going to using a reputable breeder. Too many pitbulls and difficult dogs in the adoption centers I’ve visited. 3) Describe your ideal dog. Medium-large to large family dog, good character and calm, playful with children but not too crazy and too high energy, can live with other dogs or cats. Loves the family. 4) What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why? Attracted to Terranova due to the calm character and being good with kids, not in love of the slobber and it being too big and heavy that you can’t even take it to a run or hike Considering Golden Retriever also due to the good nature Other breeds we consider are Samoyed, Cobberdog, Gos D’atura (Catalonian Shepherd), Bobtail German Shepherd is not under consideration due to how broken the breed seems to be since I had one. They now look like the caricature of what I had with the very low hips. It’s my dog standard since I was little. 5) What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do? Mostly the basics, nothing special. Potty training, some home etiquete, basic commands to walk close, sit, come, stay and other key things like not jumping on people and not pulling the lease when on a walk. 6) Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport? No competition. Would be cool to take the dog when I go running, but not a must (we’re considering Terranovas and this would be out of the question)
Care Commitments 7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day? I work from home most of the time with a flexible agenda. My wife is studying at home as well. My daughter is home after school. We can dedicate a fair amount of time to interact and play with the dog and some of that time can be training. During the rest of the day, he can be with me or my wife while we work or study. 8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park? Walk/run at least an hour or more everyday, we have access to dog parks and a pine forest close by. I run some days so he can come with me and we can have hikes on the nearby forest. 9) How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly? I’m fine brushing hair and can do some grooming, but I’ll look for professionals to do it sometimes. I’d rather not spend too much time grooming (negatives on Terranova and Golden), but I’ll do it happily if we choose a breed in need of that.
Personal Preferences 10) What size dog are you looking for? We’re considering something from mid to giant size (25kg - 60kg). Large is cool, better than giant due to health issues and inconvenience. 11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle? We’re flexible on shedding and slobber. Of course we’d rather not have slobber on all our walls but we'll see. I normally prefer larger dogs because they’re calmer and more confident and normally bark only when needed. We don’t want a dog barking non stop. 12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area? He’ll be on the leash during walks, but having access to some forestal areas will mean that sometimes he’ll be off the leash to be able to run and enjoy. It’s important he can learn to behave.
Dog Personality and Behavior 13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space? We prefer attached and affectionate dogs. I’ve lived with Dobermans and I loved them but I think they’re a bit distant and serious for children for example. 14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please? Eager to please 15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors? Tell me the news. Be calm if there’s no threat. Observe and evaluate. Be calm or friendly unless there's a clear threat. 16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs? No 17) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid? No aggressiveness to humans
Lifestyle 18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone? I’ll be home most of the time indefinitely. My wife will be as well for at least a year and a half and probably will have a morning job later at most. He’ll be home alone some times and needs to get used to, but won’t be daily. 19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog? Same as mine, although I'll probably do some more walks than my wife. 20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they? We’ll probably have a cat not long after the dog. Possibly a second dog in the future? 21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly? Yes 22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease? We own our house and we have a sizable yard and a salt swimming pool 23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds? We live in Spain, close to Madrid. Some laws apply to breeds like Pit bulls, Rottweilers and other strong bite breeds. I'll have an insurance for sure anyways. 24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live? Summer: quite hot (can go above 40ºC), but we have air conditioned in the house, a swimming pool and a lot of shadow out. The dog can be cool with us inside. Winter: days go from -5ºC to 8ºC
Additional Information and Questions 25) Please provide any additional information you feel may be relevant. 26) Feel free to ask any questions below.

Sorry for the Hot Take title, but with both Succession and Barry ending, and AV Club recently doing a list of the 10 worst and 20 best finales, I've been thinking about endings a lot. And I think they don't matter nearly as much as people think they do.
I recently watched the 2000s reimagining of Battlestar Galactica again, a show I hadn't revisited since it originally aired, largely because I hated how it ended. And watching it again was largely a joy. The first couple seasons were full of great sci-fi world building, compelling mysteries, excellent characters and some great performances, music that made Bear McCreary the default choice to score any nerd-friendly movie/video game/television series, special effects that mostly hold up well despite age and a limited budget, and powerful stories that reflected the sentiments of post-9/11 America. And I still didn't like the ending, but one of my original complaints wasn't so bad the second time through, and while the rest were still disappointing, they didn't sour the total experience.
That got me thinking about how much value people place on the endings of shows. Any mention of Game of Thrones, Dexter, Lost, How I Met Your Mother, and probably dozens of other shows immediately brings out people complaining about the endings, and never discussion of the rest of the shows that clearly they at one point loved or else they wouldn't be so passionate about the ending.
I get why it happens:

1. It's the last thing you saw, so it's the freshest in your memory
2. A bad ending is disappointing. You like the show up to that point, and you hope for a perfect ending that you didn't get

And I did the same on Battlestar Galactica. But after seeing it again, I think that was a mistake.
A television series of multiple seasons isn't a single big story, no matter how serialized it is. Not to get overly "it's the journey not the destination," but a lot of these shows had storylines resolved, mysteries answered, and character arcs completed long before the shows ended, and the fact that people kept watching and appreciating the shows is a testament to how well they did. That quality doesn't disappear because a few seasons later, the last episode had something you didn't like. Dexter becoming a lumberjack or whatever doesn't change the fact that the ice truck killer storyline was great.
And I think some fans have it in mind that they're going to get some surprise twist ending that they never saw coming, when that's really hard to pull off these days. A lot of potential surprise endings are cliches ("I am your father" or "he was dead the whole time" or whatever), so those aren't any good anymore. And good twist ending needs to not just be a surprise, but to make sense. Which means laying the groundwork before the reveal. And while I'm easy enough to fool, a thousand fans discussing theories on a subreddit or whatever are going to piece together the clues if they're done well. I think that makes writers shy away from even trying a big twist ending, which leaves those hoping for one disappointed.
I do think endings are important. By "overrated," I simply mean not as important as they're made out to be. By being so focused on an ending they didn't like, fans are missing out on remembering what made some of those shows great to begin with.