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Hi, for context ages will not be shared just know I am a former sophomore going into junior year and my sister is a upcoming freshman.
As the title stated I am so sick of my deadbeat mom and entitled brat of a sister, today I woke up and went to say hi to my aunt(my should be legal guardian) and saw my sister wasn’t in the room so I asked my aunt where she was and found out that my mom was told that me and my aunt were asleep and she took it upon herself to pick up my sister and take her out god knows where. Now for context and background information my mother does not live with me and my aunt or dad, she moved out back in the middle of 2022 because she believed my aunt and dad were targeting and bullying her for being a deadbeat mother and god forbid she help my aunt pay bills. Now for those who probably wondering why I’m posting this is because I need opinions to help convince my aunt to kick my sister out since she tells my mother everything that happens in the house.
Now my sister is entitled, she gets what she wants and all the new electronics she finds amazing, for example she got an animal crossing gen 1 switch for Christmas in 2019 and didn’t use it for three years until I started using the joycons for my switch since my control didn’t have that rubbery part on the levers and I have sensory issues to plastic touching my fingers when I’m playing video games.
Now back to the present, my mother had picked up my sister to take her out, I don’t care if she took her out it’s the fact that my sister didn’t tell my aunt that my mother was planning to take my sister out. My sister had told my mom that me and my aunt were asleep and my mom tends to do things with my sister more when my dad is out of the house, my aunt was mad and upset when she found out, makes sense. My mother was always stingy with giving my aunt money to pay bills or to even buy me clothes or anything I need but once my sister barks and commands my mom uses a lot of money on her just because she’s bigger, meaning she’s on the heavier side and she’s autistic.
My aunt already plans to leave money and jewelry to me and my sister when she dies but now plans to give only me and my dad everything since me and her believe that my sister would only share money with my druggie and drunkie of a mother, I know most of you are going to comment saying that I shouldn’t talk badly about my mother, but here’s some context that y’all should know. After my mother gave birth to me back in 2007, it only took her a week a week of having me out of the hospital for her to realize that she didn’t want to take care of a baby and don’t me basically on my aunt Uncle and Dad basically anyone who would take care of me instead of her she was asleep 95% of my childhood because she didn’t want to be a mother more of a friend a friend who dresses provocatively, and always has her boobs or thighs flashing, because she feels like she should, and not cover up her body, I was always embarrassed for her to be my mother because she would dress provocatively at school events and I would be embarrassed because my friends would tease me about it and teachers would make snide remarks about me and dressing like that when I’m older, I do dress like that but I only dress like that when I’m out with friends other times I dress in jeans, a plaid shirt or jacket and a band shirt basically 80s look. my mother never was really there for me more in there for my sister and she would never get me things I need just recently back in let’s say January my aunt had took me to an eye doctor and I got prescribed contacts so my aunt need a money so she can pay off the 40 bucks that my aunt had to pay to give me my contacts every three months.
My mother caused a lot of trauma through my life and doesn’t commit it or own up to her mistakes but it says that it was my dad‘s fault for causing that trauma. He did cheat on her back in 2008 I believe or 2007 hence bringing in my half brothers . And my dad I guess was just sick of my mother.
Now, my sister acts like my mothers in so many ways doesn’t do dishes doesn’t do basic chores complains when looking after the dogs the planes are doing anything has horrible hygiene and always says that she might take over my room since I do a horrible job and taking care of it when she sleeps in my aunts room and refuses to do what I did back in 2019 and split it one corner of the room to be a little tiny corner where I can have a bed a desk and a TV so I can be comfortable more when I get my own room silly I know but it worked for me. I have told my aunt that she needs to take my sister out the wheel because my sister does not appreciate anything her or my dad do for her for example, my aunt spend so much money on Funko pops and electronics for my sister every Christmas, and she only uses one thing or causes a mess. What’s worse is not my grandmother’s poor jewelry box is being wasted and being destroyed because my sister has constant cups on it and the residue leaves markings on the wood. It was my grandmothers jewelry box and I cherish it every moment of my life. It sucks that she’s gone , but I feel like I deserve the jury box because I take better care of my jewelry while my sister does not even like jewelry
I want to convince my aunt to kick out my sister, so my sister can understand the struggles and actual proof that my mother is a deadbeat and that she has no where near a good person nor the good enough mother to spend basic money for food and clothing I am just so sick and tired of my mother and my sister . Please separate uses of Reddit help me convince and point out reasons to kick out my sister so she can live with my mother since she appreciates my mother more than my aunt and father.

Dear Manfred,
Love is not omeone who makes you second guess yourself, someone who runs to other women at the first chance he gets, someone who goes to sleep and leaves you crying, it was never you.
It’s your silence that kept me confused but it just took one moment and my heart turned, it was when my love held me and I saw in his eyes that he is my protector, the man who I’d always prayed for.
I didn’t even want to be with you but you wouldn’t let me be, telling me you loved me without even getting to know me. You see time doesn’t just heal but as feelings fade everything seems much clearer. You kept telling me you loved me but what did your actions show? You never made a commitment, nor were you kind, gentle or respectful towards me. Granted I also made mistakes where I wasn’t patient, I wasn’t trusting and I was hurt- I can admit that and apologise, you never apologised for your appalling treatment of me. Thinking of your stairs in your old place makes my heart sink as I spent so long crying. You showed me how much you treated your current partner better, giving her the commitment that I’d asked for and following through with the plans we made with someone else.
Again, I ask myself was this love? The lies, the games, the dishonesty, the pain, the wasted years- when it’s not love it’s a lesson and what a painful lesson it’s been. Your love had me on my breaking down on my knees and I have been shown that this isn’t what love is, not what I was looking for but I don’t ever once think you knew i wanted. It was all about you. I remember the times I never even wanted to be with you but felt threatened so I stayed, even speaking to you on the phone it took me back to how overbearing you can be.
What was I thinking, you took my virginity and I thought I must stay with you because I never wanted to be intimate with more than one man- that didn’t matter to you. You were dishonourable and didn’t realise how important it was to me. The names you could me, the way you spoke about my appearance and my body, the way you treated me like a cheap object to you. I can’t believe I allowed it, you broke me the fuck down.
I lost family because of you, I was alone because of you but because of you I have learnt what love really is and what really matters. With you it wasn’t love it was a painful lesson that came for me to grow.
You’ve got your own demons, had a difficult upbringing and for that I’m empathetic and won’t hold any hatred in my heart. Do I forgive you, no. That’s up to God to forgive.
You’ve given me PTSD but that’s ok, I’d rather have bouts of this than go through the turmoil i went through years ago. You treated me like I was an enemy when all I wanted was to be loved. You abused my love. I’m not a victim and I will not feel sorry for myself as that person who was with you no longer exists.
It’s time, I’ve been given the love I’ve always wanted and am cutting this umbilical chord that’s kept me suffocating for 2 years.
When you said your life was much better I reflected on my life and I thought mine is too- we clashed, we crashed and the love, lust, attraction has gone. You’re a stranger who I nearly had a family with and I’m actually ok with that.
You said I ended things abruptly and didn’t hear you out- I heard you out and you told me you lied to me and went on lunch with your colleague instead of calling me because I was whiny, then you proceeded to verbally abuse me and one week later you went me pictures of a girl you were talking too saying you will get a star named after her- then months later when we started to talk again you asked me to commit to you and lied about how you wasn’t talking to others- your crocodile tears at the beach calling me your wife. Then when I told you I wasn’t in the place to commit as we had things to work through you went on a date with someone else. The cafe where we had our last conversation you spent the entire time talking about the woman you are now with. I didn’t fucking deserve any of this- I had just helped me brother through his cancer in 2018 and wanted peace.
It’s better this way- you’re not for me.
Yas

@PiWithMi Can video or photos be uploaded on fireside forum in near future? @chidulue This feature is currently not available but may become available in a furure feature update. Stay tuned!
@PiWithMi Most welcome, many pioneers still wait for a learning session how Fireside Forum works with pioneers not having Pi migrated to wallet to bused as transaction fee for services ? @drjayvee Hi, @drjayvee, thanks for your question. We can create a brief guide on how to use Fireside Forum in the near future. For those who haven't migrated their Pi to their wallets, they can still access the app through their browser. Since Pi wallet migration will affect Pioneers on a case by case basis, they will need to first pass KYC, create a Mainnet wallet, and complete the Mainnet checklist items before having full interaction features available to them.
@PiWithMi Can we withdrow tokens we get for our posts and convert back to pi in our wallets? @Sebarb Good question. This feature is being considered but at the moment, Pioneers cannot convert their Fireside Forums in-app tokens back to Pi.
@PiWithMi Hi What's the main mative for the creation of the fireside furum please @Chekoso I'm taking this text directly from teh Fireside Forum Announcement we publishe on the blog yesterday: Fireside Forum is just one of the early instantiations of Pi Network’s innovations based on blockchain technology and our hypotheses about what the next generation of online social interactions can be. Fireside Forum integrates cryptocurrency and tokens into the core of its social mechanism to help moderate online behavior automatically and thereby support members to create better content, social interactions and improve user experience in the context of public forums.
@PiWithMi Will we have the ability in future to share the contents outside social media platforms? @Paul5812 This a great feature idea that we are also considering including the future. For the moment, you can now share Fireside Forum with friends and on social media using our new Pinet url: https://fireside.pinet.com/channels/Jokes This will allow people outside of the network to browse through our apps on any browser. If they want to interact, they would then be prompted to join Pi Network and create an account.
@Grunchking These are great questions to which I do not have all the answers. For the moment, I can answer this: Q: Will fire tokens be converted back to Pi Coins in the future? A: While tokens cannot be converted back to Pi at present, we are considering this as a future feauture. I will forward the rest of the questions to the product team for more clarity and look into adding them to a FAQ we can share later.
@PiWithMi Can we withdrow tokens we get for our posts and convert back to pi in our wallets? @Sebarb This is a wonderful suggestion as it's rooted in web3 priciples and decentralized owenership for monetezation. We may look into exploring this in the near future. Thanks
@PiWithMi Is there a plan to migrate the Fire token from its current off-chain state to the PI blockchain, allowing for swapping it back to PI after earning from upvote tips? @annsecret Thanks for the reminder. I've forwarded your question to the product team. But at the moment Fireside Forum in-app tokens cannot be converted back to Pi
Where are the Mods to moderate the chat regarding Firside App with their own insight ? @drjayvee Fireside Forum doesn't rely on Mods to moderate the platform. Through the tokenomics mechanism, Pioneers can create and organically curate content, and moderate behavior, providing our community the tools to manage the online environment in a decentralized way.
@PiWithMi Already in the renewed chat, the fonts used are very small, but on the forum the story was repeated. For those of us who are visually impaired, using both the chat and the forum is a real pain. But nobody really thinks about it? It would be nice if there was an option to zoom the text in the app itself, as the system zooms prevent me from extending the cycles daily. @Slowfly1 Great sugestion. I will forwad it to the product team to see if we can add that accessibilty feature.
@piwithmi can you drop "forum" from the name. It's redudant, 4 syllables is too much, forums went out of fashion years ago, we know what happens by firesides, "Fireside" by itself is a nice short name @browolf Good suggestion. This is just the first instantiation of this type of app and its development will continue. Maybe a name change will occur, but I can't promise that.
@PiWithMi 👆👆👆 Please clarify this. My understanding, apparently mistaken, is that the fire tokens are stored on chain so that if a Pioneer has their phone lost or stolen, they don't lose their tokens. It matters because the answer will affect how we give advice to Pioneers. @Grunchking I've forwarded the question about in-app token migrations to the product team for more clarity on where they are stored. However, to my understanding, if yo lose your phone, your Fireside tokens will still be associated to your user account.

Sir David
Far across the Capital city from the impromptu Sarkin wedding feast Sir David and Ariane were walking around the Imperial district, hand in hand, lazily enjoying the light breeze and the warm sun as they played tourist.
Sir David couldn't help but glance over at Ariane constantly, both to enjoy her, and to listen to her next piece of interesting information.
One place he had some mutual hobbies with Ariane was in history, and Ariane had devoured human history and mythology by the truck load once she'd gotten access to the Tear's internal comm net. Her reading speed and retention rate was truly something you had to see to believe.
She'd also proved she was quite crafty in the arts and crafts sense. After she'd found out about the minotaur of Greek myth, she'd set herself to work designing some new outfits that mixes ancient Greek and traditional Agela fashion, then partnered with Mama-san the Pavorus tailor aboard the Tear to produce them.
The result in this particular case was a stunning white dress that was just sheer enough in some places to be more than a little distracting, while not being at all lewd or erotic. Or anything but conservative by galactic standards.
Sure, with a slit in the skirt to her upper mid thigh, and some actual cleavage, she was showing off more skin than an Apuk girl might on average, but anything more than a micro bikini could be considered 'conservative' by galactic standards. Paired with her usual concealed shifter belt which showed off her waist and the sheer intensity of her curves in a delightfully subtle way, she'd then left her bountiful golden hair curly and put it up with a pair of pins.
The total effect between the colors of her body, her rich caramel skin, the blue of her eyes, her shining golden hair, and the various whites and creams of her not quite toga made her look the part of an actual goddess of Greek myth. Ari was an absolute gem of a woman, and was just as beautiful in sweat pants as she was all done up... but Sir David certainly appreciated the results when Ariane took the time to get all gussied up.
It was only due to David's sheer force of will and decades of self discipline that he wasn't all over her like a teenage boy on his prom date to use an American idiom. The temptation alone was... intense. The desire was strong.
Yet.
Sir David wanted to hold back. For his own sake. For Ariane's sake. He wanted to build a bond in more than mutual physical desire... and he had to remember what being... touched... was like. How to touch. How to accomplish the physical parts of being a lover.
He could hear Mary scolding him for ignoring her when she'd told him to seek out someone else to help keep his life fulfilled and happy... letting what were once well developed skills in how to be a partner, how to be a lover, how to be a friend in a context outside the military, atrophy deeply. Then again, could Mary have known just how badly her death was going to hurt him? She'd have likely scolded him for that too, but still. He just couldn't give the old girl up... and with Ariane around to stand next to the ghostly love of his life, and not in place of... well. Maybe Mary would forgive him for waiting just a little bit longer to find the right woman.
That more women could quite easily follow was... something that was becoming somewhat intriguing to David. There was, after all, near limitless potential in the galaxy.
Perhaps he was talking to Jerry too much about such things in the Ward Room after the female officers had mostly left for the evening, but the man made a persuasive, if somewhat self-serving argument in the name of plural marriage in the galaxy. Sir David himself didn't have a religious or moral objection to such things, and considering he already had more or less agreed with his... girlfriend for lack of a better term. Fiancée perhaps. That she would be his second wife per galactic terms, to respect the mother of his first children made the question of a third or fourth wife seem... much easier than simply considering a second. If the right woman showed up... why not?
"Oh! David! Look!"
Before David can be completely shaken from his thoughts he's been dragged through an ornate gate set into a stone wall into a garden. David's eyes wander the place and automatically map out the details. They're just passed through a stone wall onto a platform resting on what appeared to mostly be a natural hill, with a small set of steps leading down to the actual ground level and the stone path that ran through the grass.
The garden itself is quite large, and beautifully crafted with paths, not just of stone but within the plants themselves winding naturally through the stunning blooms and leading towards what appeared to be an altar at one end of the garden and a large set of stairs at the other.
The stairs lead up to a balcony, over which loomed a fortified building some distance behind it. David recognized it as an old fort, in a style endemic to older Apuk architecture that David had seen a few times with Ariane so far this morning while touring the Imperial district.
David makes his second sweep of the area, now looking for even more fine details this time around. Looking up a bit higher finds ten statues lining the area, each paying homage to a larger statue of a woman in armor behind the altar.
She was posed with a warblade that was nearly as long as she was tall, and she appeared to have been very tall in life, regardless of how the sculptor had scaled her up. Still, the detail in the sculpture was remarkable. The warrior woman's smile warmed the garden that was clearly a memorial like she was standing there with them that moment, no matter how long it had been since her death.
Ariane sighs with pleasure at both the exquisite sculptures around them, but also the skillful display of horticulture, taking a brief moment to sniff a vibrant blue bloom before pulling up her guide book.
"Let's see... Yes, this is the Memorial Garden of the First Battle Princess. Hmm. Some warning in the Apuk language I can't read, where's the... ah! Here we are!"
Ariane grins at her success at finding what she was looking for and starts to read the contents of the page to David.
"Princess Mira'Tok Crownborn was the title that she ended her life under many thousands of Centris standard years ago at the dawn of pre-space flight modern Apuk history. Mira'Tok was the first to receive a crown directly from the hand of the woman who would become the first Empress of Serbow, and is the predecessor of every battle princess to ever wear a crown."
The Agela woman's eyes glimmer as she continues to read, clearly excited by both the history and the craftsmanship around them.
"The statues displayed around her are her ten companions, her battle sisters... and there's a twelfth statue behind her, of the Sorcerer Dus'Kvun, her husband. Not to deemphasize him, but rather their display rotates with the Princess being displayed forward by day, and her husband by night when bioluminescent plants from the dark forest naturally light the garden up! Seems the statues automatically rotate into their different positions after sunset and at dawn. The guide suggests this was a commentary on the two halves of martial supremacy on Serbow... and a more traditional depiction of both male and female."
David arches an eyebrow and leans over to read over Ariane's shoulder a bit. "Really, she was the first? Interesting... How old is the statue then? It's incredible. Almost like she's about to start laughing and tell us a story about her adventures."
Ariane nods. "She was famous for doing just that. This garden is a few thousand years old, commissioned early in the current Imperial family's reign. Mira'Tok was named a... it's hard to pronounce it, so I'll just translate, a sword saint. So like the kensei from Japan on Earth that we discussed the other day. So Mira'Tok is a religious figure as well as a historical and martial figure. So this memorial garden was dedicated as an official war shrine of the Apuk Imperial military. What's the mean though?"
Ariane flicks through a few more screens, focused entirely on learning something new about the place they'd found themselves in.
"Here we go! As an Imperial War Shrine, the garden of the mausoleum plays host to a variety of ceremonies annually including the Empress praying for the Imperial military, officers being commissioned or promoted, and senior enlisted swearing fresh oaths of enlistment. To be offered or granted permission to swear your oaths in the garden is a significant honor and marks out either a highly distinguished, or extremely loyal individual with many years or service... or the type of fresh face who's on the fast track to bigger and better things. It's not automatic even for battle princesses who take up Imperial military service."
Ariane pushes her communicator towards David, pointing to a specific paragraph. "Ooh, look! Apparently it's not uncommon for the Empress to turn up unannounced and receive the oaths of those permitted to make their oaths in Mira'Tok's mausoleum personally."
Sir David raises an eyebrow at that. "Dear God, I don't think her majesty ever surprised anyone to take their oaths of service personally... though she did knight me and award me my Victoria cross personally, as was the standard of the age. To take an oath of service personally like that from her warriors. That's truly special for those Imperial officers and enlisted who are privileged to offer their oaths like that I'm sure. To make oaths of loyalty and service personally to your liege. Ye gods and little fishes, it's right out of a fairy tale!"
"I know! Isn't it great?" Ariane clearly suppresses a squeal, doing her best to remain respectfully calm in this sacred space.
Suddenly however, a concerning thought struck Sir David.
"Say, Ari, are there any issues with us being here as outsiders? This is, as you say, sacred ground."
Ariane puts her nose back in her communicator and reads through a few pages quickly.
"Well it says this shrine isn't considered super popular to visit because it's small and somewhat out of the way, though many warriors make pilgrimage here to entreat Mira'Tok's blessing and invoke her courage, so this part of the war shrine is proudly open to the public. Though offworld visitors are of course asked to be respectful to the gardens and the spirits of the Princess, her husband and her shield sisters. In fact... as a warrior yourself you should be able to access the inner shrine if you'd like. There's apparently some rare artifacts related to Mira'Tok, and there's usually a few Wardens, retired senior members of the Apuk Imperial forces, around who are always happy to chat with a fellow warrior. While they nominally guard the shrine, apparently they also give regular discussions and talks about the history of this place, the Imperial military, and Mira'Tok. It's by appointment only, but they also only need like thirty minutes notice."
David nods, looking around again and admiring some more of the sheer effort that had gone into this beautiful little slice of serenity in the capital.
"Sounds like we should register for one of their talks if they wouldn't mind an audience of two. Heh, registering for a tour from wardens of a tower in the capital city of an Empire. It's so familiar it's almost a touch nostalgic."
David gestures upwards at the tower that was clearly the inner shrine.
"It's just like the Tower of London back home in some ways, right down to the wardens. The Yeoman Warders of the Tower back on Earth are all retired senior enlisted military personnel. Next you'll tell me they keep a local species of black bird here. Still, this other part of the shrine, the inner shrine, I can gain access to it? But you made it sound like you couldn't? Why's that?"
David gazes over at the now blushing Ariane.
"No such luck on the black birds. As to the inner shrine... It. Ah. Access to the inner shrine is limited to warriors and their... well. It says husbands but considering you're the warrior I'm sure they'd make exception for your spouse but we aren't married and I-"
Sir David leans over, cups Ariane's cheek and chastely kisses her on the lips, a mark of affection Ariane eagerly returns with a loving sigh.
"Ooh..."
"Maybe I'm not so worried about that any more. Forgive an old man his foibles my dear... besides. I'd say you're at least my fiancée, and I. Well I don't want to presume, but I'd be. It."
David feels his tongue tangle a bit as he remembers he hadn't expressed a lot of his feelings on this subject to Ariane yet.
"I... Ari. I'd be a fool not to marry you. I think I might have done you a great disservice in not being more clear about that. I ah. Yes. It's. You're to be my wife. If you'll have me of course... Bollocks that came out wrong."
Ari looks back at David, her long lashes fluttering as she gives him a coy smile.
"You're impossible sometimes you know that?"
"I'm unfortunately aware."
"I love that about you. I suspect Mary did too. Yes David. I'm going to be your wife. You're going to be my husband. There's no need to ask, it's set in the stars and has been from the moment we first made eye contact when you came to rescue me. Because for all your desire to take it slow, I've utterly failed to honor your desires and I fall more and more in love with you with every passing minute of every passing day. How can I not? I'm a girl who loves fairy tales after all, and here at last is my gallant knight to carry me away. I do prefer the human style role swap honestly. Much more fun to be carried off on horseback by you instead of carrying you off. Makes me feel all delicate."
The first kiss was nice. The second kiss was like nothing else David had ever experienced in his life apart from kisses with Mary, and in that second kiss he wasn't worried about having to remember how to be a lover to someone anymore.
Ari's lips warmed him from the tips of his ears down to his toes, making him melt just slightly as they embrace among the flowers, which seem to bloom all the more brightly in the face of such a passionate act of mutual affection, turning up to the couple ever so slightly as if they were the sun itself.
Then the spell is broken by a sharp wolf whistle and a leering cackle from nearby.
"Hey sister, care to share some sugar?"
Three well dressed Apuk, with what David recognized as gang markings peeking over their collars or out of their sleeves saunter through the gate, slowly spreading out.
"Told you girls I smelled a man. Cute too... So what's the slice sister, you the first wife?"
"S-Second. I'm his second wife." Ariane stutters for a second but quickly gets more confident in her tone, her powerful body tensing.
One of the toughs, a woman with poorly maintained reddish purple locks, looks at the senior tough, a woman with vibrant green hair that's clearly much better taken care of.
"...Why are you asking? We just want to have a little fun right? Make this trip up to the Imperial district worth it?"
"Yep, and all the better if sister here is willing to share. Might even make some easy credits girlie."
Ariane tenses a bit more, as her cheeks color with what David recognizes as anger. Then he notices Ariane's hand subtly going towards the controls for her shifter belt.
"Did you seriously just ask me to whore my husband out to you dirtbags?"
"Hey now, dirt bag's a mean way to put it!" The gang leader's tone takes on an oily, play acting hurt tone as the three women begin to spread out a bit more. "Might just hurt my feelings, and you know girls, when my feelings are hurt there's just about only one thing that'll really quench the fire it starts in me."
"...Bout a liter of this bitch's blood boss?" Says the redhead again, leering at Ariane as she speaks.
The gang leader's smile gets extra toothy, making her look like she was part Cannidor for a moment.
"Yep, and a couple rounds with old boy over there while she bleeds out on the stone. Hey. Call some more of the girls over, I think this might end up being a grand old time."
First Last

Do the Gorousei members have a Zoan devil fruit, or are they all shadows controled by Imu instead ?
Well, 1st of all when Sabo entered the throne room and "saved" Cobra, he said that he thought that he would be able to take them in 1 blow thx to the surprise effect I guess, but what is more interesting imo is what he said just after that. He said that he could not expect the Hell to be located at the top of this world !!!
Implying that the Gorousei figures when transformed looked like characters coming directly from the hell from Sabo's perspective (and we know thx to Brook that the Hell exists in One Piece !!!), and I don't think that he would say that if they were regular zoan df users or even Mythical ones.
So from my understanding what we witnessed this chapter were not silhouettes but rather shadow monsters, and since we saw Imu using this power first and that there are no identical devil fruits out there beside those created by Caesar or Vegapunk, it's very likely that it was not the Gorousei's powers to turn into shadow monsters, but rather Imu controlling them all at once.
Now let see why I think this make sense. The first argument is that if I was Imu, someone who use to live during the void century (which is 99% confirmed at this point, I mean given that Imu knows the history of the Void century and knew Lili personally it's almost confirmed), then who would I choose as "official" rulers while I stay hidden to protect my identity ?
5 individuals, why 5 ? I don't know yet, but maybe you could help me find out why. But what would I expect from thoose 5 individuals ??
Human are greedy by nature, if you were given the opportunity to rule the world, but you had to share the power between 5 people it's likely that someone would try to kill the other 4 and keep the power for themselve. So why would Imu trust anybody to rule in his place exactly ? Wouldn't it be better for him/her to control 5 figures that are actually related to her like the satellites are related to Vegapunk ? (except that 1 of the satellite betrayed Vegapunk, but could that also be a hint that 1 of the gorousei member aka 1 of her satellite would also betray her ?? idk u tell me, Lili already betrayed her visibly so why not another Gorousei member ??).
Also the gorousei members don't look like they are aging at all so that's also something to take in consideration because if they were normal human with zoan devil fruits, they should still age like normal human do, but they don't !
But given that Imu comes from the void century and that during this time period the world had access to much more advanced technology it's extremely likely that Imu could split her personality into several satelllites like Vegapunk ! and since cloning was a thing back then, and since we know for a fact that Stussy who is a clone does not age normaly as well, it could very well mean that the 5 gorousei members are actually clones from 5 kings living during the Void century and that Imu used their body as reseptacle to transfer her personality.
Now if you were Imu you woud also probably want to have the highest authority over the Seraphims and Pacifistas, higher than the gorousei I imagine, in case one of them would use the seraphim at his advantage to betray you probably, but Vegapunk only gave the highest authority to the gorousei members, not Imu, so what if Imu and the gorousei were the same person, then it would not be an issue anymore.
Also Doflamingo mentionned that with the OPOP no mi he could have used the personality swap and the Marigeoise treasure in order to rule the world so the personality swap must be very usefull to whoever knows the secret treasure of Marigeoise ! But why is that so important ?
Well, since Tashigi and Smoker had personality swap we know that it was tashigi in smoker's body who had control over smoker df power, so if the OPOP no mi user were to swape Doflamingo's personality with Imu, he could gain control over Imu's devil fruit power,
(assuming that Imu has a devil fruit but it's very likely that her ability is a devil fruit and not a new ability that we have never heard about in the manga which is already more than 1000 chapters long... and usually when Oda introduce something new he uses forshadowing even if we are not always good enough to see them coming. But in this case there are literaly no 4"shadowing about Imu's Shadow powers lol so it's likely that it's just a normal devil fruit ability.)
Anyway so I was saying that by taking over Imu's body, Doflamingo would gain Imu's df power and control the 5 gorousei members, thus beeing able to control the World without even anybody realising it because since nobody knew Imu existed in the first place, nobody would have noticed that Doffy would be the one in control of the 5 elders as well !!!
All Doffy would have to do after literaly becoming Imu himself would be to kill him/her, by killing his own privious body, thus removing the possibility to swap back his personality I guess.
And if this was not enough, I guess the OPOP would also allow its user to split Doffy's personality and thus replacing the 5 elders with his as well. then he would procede to kill the 5 elders's personalities transfered in 5 randoms dude (mostly celestial dragons since it took place in Marogeoise) and there you go he would have become the king of the world !
But for this plan to succeed, the haki of the OPOP no mi user (who could not be Doffy because he already ate a df), so his haki should be stronger than Imu's haki I guess cause we've seen that Law was able to annihilate df's effects with a strong enough Haki. But how are you going to outmatch Imu's haki exactly ?? well it could be when the secret treasure of Marigeoise comes into play !
It could be something that was used during the Void century to "erase all memory from history for exemple". It could be something that put you asleep and when you wake up your perception of the reality has changed, like if you were in a gengutsu or something. so it could be powder like the rain powder but instead it is a powder that put you asleep ^^ and whoever would use it would wear a mask to avoid beeing affected by it I guess.
This way you could put Imu and the gorousei members asleep and procede to the personality swap without problem !
Or it could be another treasure that grant his user an imense power capable to surpass Imu's power and then use the personality swap but I like the other theory better.
Also the fact that this treasure is kept secret and hidden in Marigeoise could be either because it could be useful for Imu in the futur, OR because if could be used against her if it was discovered so that's why she keep it secret maybe ? the 2 options are possible.
Okay back to the original topic,
Last argument why I think it was shadows and not silhouettes is because in EGGHEAD Shaka could not see the face of the character shutting down the cameras (even though he kinda looked like Saturn), and he said specifically "What was that Shadow?!" Implying that it was in fact a shadow like the shadows Sabo saw when he faced the gorousei and Imu at Marigeoise ! beside, the way the silhouette was drawn had nothing to do with how Oda usually draw silhouettes, but it matched perfectly how he drew Imu's silhouette in the last chapter... So this tells me that Imu's shadowlike df power was involved somehow in Egghead.
Plus if you look at the chapter 1075 cover, when Vegapunk met the Gorousei, you'll notice that the gorousei were drawn in silhouettes !! but since we know how they look already there was no point in doing so, Oda could have just drawn them normaly so why did he drew them in silhouettes ? To me it's a forshadowing that they are not real human but rather shadows controlled by Imu. Who Vegapunk met on this day was none other than Imu's personalities split in the gorousei members imo.
So in order to check if it was indeed a shadow that Shaka saw through the camera, all we have to do is to find out who it was. We know that York was the traitor but could it be her shutting down the camera ? The answer is obviously NO because when Shaka looked at the camera she was already walking with Usopp and Francky group to look after Vegapunk (her plan with the satellites was already in motion and all she had to do was to avoid beeing caught ! so she did not have any incentive to shut down the camera like at all, all she had to do is to pretend acting like a normal Seraphim untill beeing turned to stone by S Snake. Beside, we saw her giving order to the seraphims and she never mentionned to shut down the cameras so it was not a Seraphim either, plus if it were a Seraphim, Shaka would have noticed it and he would not have said "what was that shadow" since he knows very well the Seraphims powers ! so there is no way it was a seraphim !
So if it was not anybody that we knew was present on the island at the time, it means that it was probably someone who has just arrived on the island and who did not want to be seen. You know who I am talking about, yes it is Saturn, the gorousei member ! He could have used Imu's shadow to avoid beeing recognised by Shaka ! and it also explains the shadows that we saw in last chapter btw !
I know some people theorised that it could have been a BB pirate but their ship arrived near egghead way after that and none of them have a power that would make them turn into shadows, therefore Shaka could have seen them on screen. So Saturn is the character that make sthe most sense to me and that kinda confirm my thoughts that the gorousei members are basically shadows controlled by Imu !
If you want to discover Imu's identity stay with me in the next post ;)
Sorry for the long post ^^

Hi all, this year I’ve been given a set of EPQ students and it’s been an absolute mess.
Two students have deleted logbooks with all my supervisor sections completed. It’s taking nearly 4 hours to mark one project (I have 8 in total) and I can not cope with it. I’m an ECT (2) that’s never had an A Level or GCSE class in my own subject, so it’s a LOT.
Whilst I’m happy to do most of it, one student emails me 3 times a day, even during the holidays, has missed every single deadline and once again has deleted all of my feedback.
Does anyone know if it is possible to refuse to mark the EPQ? Or at least for one student. I won’t even be at the school for the December

I have a PT which I love but it has its bugs and audio clicking issues that in nearly a year Polyend has failed to fix intact they have failed to do anything other than post in April that there’s an update coming in a few months, this has sadly left me with a sour taste in my mouth regarding anything polyend I was going to purchase a play but sadly think will place the cash elsewhere.
In comparison I have an M8 and that’s had 6 updates since Xmas they don’t all set the world alight but least it shows passion for the product and keeps an ever evolving product.
What’s other people’s thoughts?

Let's start from the top. The worm has turned. People are getting sick and tired of babies being blown away by mass shooters. Full stop. End of story. Gun owners want to do literally nothing that would actually solve the issues. Full stop. End of story. Every action garners screaming of violating some amendment or another and then we're back at square one. This is why you see all these smart states banning assault weapons and restricting objectively useless carry and twerking all over the sniffling crybaby gun owners.
Gen Z is sick and tired of getting shot at just so a bunch of fat old white dudes can hunt animals and pretend to be the alpha males their low testosterone asses desperately want to be, or so they can spend thousands on tacticool gear and pretend that they can stand up to the federal government (we all know they can't LMAO). We're mad, we're motivated, we're active, and we're voting heavy next year. It has the gop pissing their adult diapers and it should have the coping ammosexuals scared.
The gop has literally a negative chance of winning anything next year. I would bet money on this. Either trump loses to Biden or he splits the party and Biden wins nearly unopposed. They know they gonna lose, I know they gonna lose, you know they gonna lose. That means up to three justices for the DNC! clarence and sammy ain't getting any younger and I'm sure they wanna step down ASAP. Sotomayor is also getting older. Once they're gone the SCOTUS is more than likely to understand that the 2A is out of date and needs to be reinterpreted a little.
Not to mention demographics naturally changing toward peoples who are naturally anti gun. This is why gun owners are pushing the "GuN RiGhTs ArE MiNoRiTY RiGHtS" angle so hard. They know we are sick and tired of guns in hands so they're trying to make us think we need em' when we don't.
To summarize: the 2A is toast and the gun nuts only have themselves to blame. Tell me how I'm wrong.

About 6-7 years ago the obvious answer would've been Exo and a few other groups, but I don't feel like that's the case anymore.
After 2017 BTS just skyrocketed and that leaves me wondering if there are any groups even nearly as popular as them these days.

I (f27) am a first year marine biology master student. Today was the first day of a two-day trip for my internship that starts in September. I got to see a bit of where I will be working and also really met my supervisor and the other people I will be working with.
Honestly, the imposter syndrome and anxiety are hitting me hard right now. Throughout the day couldn’t help but think I’m not smart enough to do it, and how I’m awkward and don’t feel confident despite nearing my 30s. I feel so small. I love science, and I have worked hard to be where I’m now. However, I feel I’m just not good enough. I’m not the fastest learner, and can get confused quite easily by certain things because I’m dyslexic and also have dyscalculia. I’ve been struggling with suicidal ideation for years and throughout this whole day my brain kept whispering I should just end myself already because this is useless. I’m so afraid I will be a disappointment, a useless student who in the end is not good enough for anything.
I’m so overwhelmed right now and cannot stop crying.

My friend introduced me (27F) to this guy (27M) who apparently had a crush on me since he last saw me at our mutual friends party like two years ago. I never noticed him that day but my friend told me that he would occasionally ask about me. 2 years later, my friend invites me to that guys sister’s party and me and him talk for a bit and he basically tells me about himself and that he’s looking for something serious. So he gets my number and proceeds to text me everyday, things like good morning, goodnight, how are you, and essentially sharing his day with me and asking about mine. I didn’t mind but I started to get weirded out because we had been texting for about three weeks and he still had not asked me out yet, I feel like we are old enough to text briefly and meet after not just continue texting. Week two of us texting he invited me hiking with our mutual friend but then he mentioned how it was our friends idea to invite me and not his. That day he mentioned he liked baseball games and would like to take me to one. Well he never followed up on that and I even texted him to say I would really like to go to a game with him. He never followed up. As we approached a month of texting I starting feeling a bit fed up with basically being pen pals and I told my friend that quality time was very important to me and that I can’t get to know someone via texting. I guess my friend told him because after that he stopped reaching out and so did I because honestly I feel like I gave him enough time to at least schedule a date in the near future. I’ve been single for almost three years and I was really looking forward to pursuing something with this guy because we had a lot in common but now I’m just disappointed that I got ghosted with basically no explanation and feel like my requirements were too much for him.

An alcohol craving crept up on me. One trick I use to squash cravings is eat good food. So I ordered a steak. Flicked off the liquor store on my way to pick up my order. Then devoured my steak at home with a diet coke. Now I am just chilling with no cravings at all. Life is good 😎

Its fun but we need more levels!
Owl - I like her card/secondary ability. I was able to beat R8 solo only firing my gun to open vaults. I may have had the aggressive assault blessing where I get charges back every 3 seconds. Only a few bosses in act 1 gave me problems. I have read up today on how to use her primary. I will try that later.
Red panda - I like having the mech. You can revive it, it can revive you. My team had 2 of them going at once last night. They were helpful tanking the bosses. I tried doing a rocket built that turned out ok even though I did not get any secondary skill damage to it from scrolls that I recall and only the 300% ascension. I dont know what the fire mode is for the mech or how to activate it. I do like that I can fire a rocket at the mech to heal it. I want to replay and go for a pure mech build.
Weapons Wolf Gaze - It fels like its an SMG with a few added bonuses. I didnt notice them going off. It feels like a demon lore but instead of increased damage it does some random effect. Star Ring - I do and dont like this one, I might need more time to test it. It creates a ring around you that you need to expand and collapse to damage enemies. Not great for single target but good for groups of normal enemies. You can probably kill things faster with skills or secondaries but maybe someone fill find a good use for it. Jet Octopus - I have not used this one yet, I will try it tonight Brick - I like this one. If you crit with it, a star spawns. Collect the star and your next hit is a crit that also spawns stars, even if its not a normal crit location. Its a sniper rifle with a 4x crit. Faster RoF then a rocket launcher but single target. I find it fun to use and the damage is just run. Theres something comical about being a cute little animal throwing bricks at the heads of other creatures thats funny in game.
Getting ascensions from other characters - I feel this is a waste. You pick two and you still have to see if they even show up on goblets. You get 6 to pick from, you can pick 2. In the few runs I have done, only of the other ascensions showed up.
Vault - I like the idea, I can get behind that, but I can see it ruining games. You find a vault in the level that, instead of having a scroll chest, has a red craftsman that will store 9 weapons for you or you can with draw them. It also gives you a backpack to hold extra weapons. Maybe your at the end of the run, a brick with a permanent bonus to crit drops but your current weapon is already at +29 and the brick is a +10. Store the brick. Bring it out next game. Store it at the end of the game, repeat. If you die with the gun outside of the vault Im almost positive you will lose it. This will have people saving rainbows and shotguns though. Personally not my thing.
Worth the price? Yes but it could be better. I like the new characters better then turtle and bird. I would like it if we could get more campaign levels and I would also like it if we could do away with the frozen/cursed goblets at the end of act 4. They really hamper builds. I haven't tried the spiritual assault map yet but I will this weekend. Still, SA is not the main focus for me and friends.

I am genuinely curious. Does it save money? It certainly doesn’t prevent potholes. I live in Pennsylvania right near the Maryland line and their roads are always amazing. No potholes, no tar and chip, always cleared quickly when it snows. Not busting on PennDOT. Just genuinely curious why they go that route. They put tar in chips down on the road near me yesterday and it just made me think of how much I hate it. The roads are so unsafe for a couple days until all the loose ships get thrown off and the targets everywhere. Just wondering if anyone can explain the reasoning.

Where memories fade, love's essence ignites.
A car crash into a pine tree shatters the facade of a once seemingly blissful marriage. Jack's desperate attempts to bring down the tree with a chainsaw leave his wife, Hazel, wondering what has become of their bond. Is he still the same man she fell in love with three decades ago? As Hazel battles her fears, "Journey to the Treetop" invites readers on an emotional ride through the tumultuous landscape of a mind affected by memory loss.
------‐-------------
CABIN ROAD is the gateway to paradise.
But why does this feel like a path to hell?
I smash into a tall pine tree that stands in the middle of the otherwise straight gravel road. I've gone around it hundreds of times before. But now, my fingers are firmly gripped on the steering wheel, disregarding all my commands. Have I become paralyzed?
A potato is wobbling on the dashboard, having obviously leaped out of the potato crates in the back seat. Jack gets out and strides to the front bumper. His lips press into a thin line as he appraises the destruction and cost of fixing it. Nothing should hold him back from swearing. But he maintains his composure, anger simmering just beneath the surface.
The memory of thirty years of marriage fills my mind. I question whether this man has drugged me. A fleeting thought that he might have crashed the car surfaces, but it seems too much of a stretch. I take a deep breath and try to clear my head.In the rear-view mirror, Jack gets an axe from the trunk. He comes and gazes at me from my window, his eyes looking heavy and weary—like two precious pearls inside their oyster-like shells. I straighten and open the window:
“Thank goodness it wasn't worse.”
“I'll chop it down.”
“That’s a pretty big tree, Jack.”
Jack blinks several times.
“I do have a chainsaw...”
“Yes.” I wonder what stories this tree has witnessed during its lifetime. Will we see the marks of our journey on its rings? There’s always something that gets squeezed in tighter, begging to be unraveled.
“I'll drive you to the cabin and grab the chainsaw,” Jack says. “Prepare some coffee while I'm gone.”
Our short passage to the cabin around the bend is like shifting through the fog of memory. I'm in the kitchen. My fingers clench around the coffee tin can and spoon. Bewilderment engulfs my brain. I spot Jack with his saw. He slips around the corner, the curve of his bottom visible through his tight work trousers. I feel anxious about the crash. Did I deliberately hit the tree?
The measuring spoon slips from my hand. It drops onto the floor along with the tin can. I clean up the mess. Could someone drive into a tree on purpose? Accidents do happen after all. It's fascinating to see him take on this role of being so chivalrous. Far away from his academic duties.
As the chainsaw outside whines, I scroll through social media on my phone. People arguing about something or other makes me tired. I pick up a copy of Science magazine from the coffee table and scan through an article titled “Quantum Communication Across Interstellar Space,” authored by Jack. As usual, the details go right over my head. I like to amuse myself with the idea that it speaks about communicating with individuals who have passed away.
Billy's message pops up. He asks for money for a fishing trip with his buddies somewhere in Lapland. I am more than happy to support him since he’s enlisting in the army soon in July. My big boy.
I tell him about the car crash, and he gives me advice about a car repair store. Jack comes back earlier than expected. He plops into his seat, sweat beading on his forehead and the smell of resin emanating from him. He seems disappointed.I pour coffee to the brim.
“Did the saw get stuck?”
Jack shakes his head and adds sugar to his mug.
“It got shattered under the tree. I stumbled...”
Silence descends slowly, like dust.
“My helmet cracked.”
“Do you want me to buy new parts when I go to the store?”
“No need.”
“But there's pruning and cutting to do first.”
Jack takes a bite out of a cinnamon bun.
“I can sharpen the axe.”
“Ask the neighbors for help, that's what they're for. You can also mow the lawn while I'm away.”
“The grass is already short— it'll die off.”
“You don't want ticks taking over! Think about your mother's joint pain. She would roll in her grave if—”
“Cremated?’
“Yes!” My answer is like a flyswatter, leaving no room for further discussion or quantum physics.
Jack is busy chewing on the bun. His regular coffee breaks, which have become part of his daily routine in his sixties, have honed impressive jowls.
We enjoy our coffee and stare at the lake. Calm as a mirror. I have a feeling Jack will soon suggest fishing. As I gather my things to leave, I call to him:
“Don't hurt yourself. Should I bring more buns?”
“I was thinking of skipping the sugar and wheat...”
I simply smile in reply.
“Can you refuel the car?” Jack asks.
I'm already off. The door slams shut in the middle of his sentence, but Jack knows better than to expect a response.
I jump into the driver's seat and immediately notice forgotten potato baskets in the back seat, but my mind drifts away before I can do anything about it. As I pass by our old well, I remember that we need to discuss connecting the cabin to a new water source. No matter what it costs, it needs to be done. Why should I agree to be responsible for our running water anymore?
I collide with something hard. Airbags abruptly inflate around me, disorienting me as my vision blurs. Struggling to escape from the tangled mess of seatbelts and inflatable bags, it feels like I'm an old person trying to climb out of a bouncy castle.
My gaze rests on the scene before me, but my thoughts can't understand it. I have plowed into a tree stump. The tree stretches over the ditch. Nearby the chainsaw lies crushed. The cutting chain is nowhere to be found.
I get back in the car. Should I phone Jack for an urgent call? Inhaling slowly helps me stay calm. Why didn’t he mention the tree stump?
Someone taps on my window.
I jump and my neck stiffens up. I reach for the window switch.
“I should have told you about...” Jack says.
“The stump?”
“Didn't you see the tree on the ground?”
“I'm sorry. I was daydreaming.”
“Great galaxy, Hazel! You're burning through our last savings as if money grew on trees!”
Jack is being truly authentic with me. I stare back at him like some big-eyed exotic species from Madagascar that I can't identify in all this chaos. Jack opens the door and starts to put the cushion back in its place. We turn on the engine, giving the accelerator a test ride.
“Let's go to a repair shop. I'm sure our insurance will cover this,” Jack suggests. “We can say that we had an accident with a reindeer.”
“You're supposed to report it to the police or game warden if you hit an animal,” I reply.
Jack pauses for a moment. He then reverses and drives forward again, but when he looks into the rear-view mirror, he slams on the brakes.
“I have a better plan.”
He retrieves an orange towing strap from the trunk, a burst of determination on his face. He connects the stump and the tow hook.
“Get ready. We’re going to take a quantum leap here.”
We buckle our seat belts with a single click as we prepare for the inevitable disaster. We had already made so many mistakes together, starting with raising our children—though sometimes failing was just part of parenting.
Jack revs up the engine. A sudden lurch forward, then Jack howls in pain as the stump smashes through the rear window, clambering through the seats and lodging itself onto the gearbox, trapping Jack's hand. He veers off toward the ditch. The Milky Way spins around us, potatoes fly in the air and suddenly, all is quiet. We find ourselves upside down—surrounded by earthy potatoes and broken glass.
I try to break the silence:
“I just remembered: Billy's friend can repair cars at the vocational school much cheaper.”
Jack looks so pale, his face almost white. I guess he’s contemplating the next step.
Through the cracked windshield, I see the chainsaw chain lying in the ditch. How did it come to be rusting away? Maybe everything will go back to normal if we sit here and wait.
It feels almost as if we are flying in outer space, my nerves slowly calming down. But then a sudden stillness strikes that is anything but soothing.
“Jack, I’m feeling a bit dizzy…”
No answer.
“Jack...”
I snap open my eyes and the scene in front of me has changed drastically. It’s like I’ve been sucked into some kind of surreal void.
I hear a tapping noise on the window. An apology and then a loud thud; a huge rock has been hurled through the glass. A stench of strong aftershave ferments around me. A burly arm reaches across to release the seatbelt. An elderly man growls something crude, nothing like Jack's usual scout-like words.
My eyes close as I'm being cradled away, and visions of Jack's mathematics and symbols flicker around in my mind. Is the soul truly free when there is no force of gravity to pull us down?
I don't know who my savior is, but I can sense his worry as his face reddens. He is in military garb.
I come to as I feel my head thudding against the rubble. Instantly, I yearn to run away, contemplating that perhaps this experience is only a dream, and I'm back in the cabin chamber, tucked securely underneath a cosy blanket. A blanket that grants me the power to perform heroic acts like disappearing in a puff of smoke.
“Are you okay?” he speaks in a familiar voice.
Fingers brush over my clothes, picking out pieces of glass. My pocket contains an odd bulge—a potato? Suddenly, everything clicks: an aged Billy, wearing a major's rank insignia. How could he have achieved that rank so fast?
“Son, what are you doing on this tree ring?”
Billy peers at me from across the way, accompanied by a mysterious female figure. “We came to check on how you're doing,” Billy says. “Do you remember what happened?”
I raise my head and look around. There's nobody in the driver's seat of the car.
“Where is Jack?” I manage.
Billy furrows his brows like a detective would when weighing evidence. An image of the classic TV show Columbo flashes through my mind—he could lull suspects into a false sense of security before dropping the hammer of his sharp intellect on their inconsistencies. But I'm not hiding anything here. Though why are modern shows so bad? That's another mystery entirely.
“Mom, what were you doing out here? The road is an absolute disaster zone, with the car smashed up in the ditch.”
My thoughts swim haphazardly as Billy reads something from my expression, then casts his eyes towards his new girlfriend for assistance.
I try to get up but it hurts too much. Instead, I reach into my pocket and feel a sandy-sharp potato there. Maybe I can still wash it off.
“I’m fine,” I reply. “I need to get back to plowing the field... baking buns for Jack... buying a chainsaw...”
The darkness returns and I feel my body shiver. I'm in the car, traveling down bumps I've known for quite some time. Soon, I’m settled inside the cabin's living room on the couch. The coffee maker is gurgling in the corner of the room. Billy is on a call with a doctor about how to deal with grief and coping alone; it seems someone had died while cutting down a tree last year. He gets furious and threatens to take away the keys from the person he's talking to. It might be a good idea; many people have too many keys that they don't use anyway.
My head is spinning with thoughts about Jack's absence. Where did he go?Someone runs water over potatoes while a pot clatters on the stovetop. My temper rises as I wait for Jack's return. I won't stay here by myself without an explanation from him. I call out for Jack until there's no sound left but my coughing voice.
I crave sausage soup, and I know I must go to the store. As I try to move forward, I am wading through tar. They guide me to the coffee table. According to Jack, time runs faster the more hunched your back becomes. Let it be and let us sit here, motionless, gazing at the tips of our shoes. Surely, time has slowed down in this moment.
Billy reaches out and takes my hand. A handsome, greying gentleman. His girlfriend also places her hand on top of the pile. Her name is Ewa. A beautiful name, something familiar about her.
But did I hear her calling me mother?
In the yard, a squirrel hops with a cone in its mouth. It freezes and stares at me. I avert my gaze. My hands suddenly look wrinkled. I summon the inner strength that I've been striving to find for an eternity:
“Do we have to leave now?”
Billy exchanges glances with Ewa and then looks outside.
“You don't have to walk this path alone, Mother.”
We finish our coffee without saying another word. The wind sweeps across the lake. A pair of swans take flight, and a duet of gentle honks echo across the water. A shivering cold envelops me. Billy and Ewa take me to the car. The potatoes can wait.
The sun blazes brightly above us as we travel the cabin road; shapeless clouds dot the horizon and suddenly I sense a presence—as if someone is waving to me.
I surrender.
I believe I will be warmly welcomed.

This ones gonna be a long one so I'm sorry, but this is also for me to put this out into the world so I can be over it and move on with my life.
Tldr at end.
Let me give you backstory prior to meeting my ex. I was always a go getter, always had multiple things going on in life (played for a band and did local tours, did home rennovation, worked on cars, had multiple hobbies, played video games with friends etc.) And always was pushing myself to be better. 1 1/2 years before I met my now ex, I broke my neck. This hampered my lifestyle for about 3 months. My Stepdouche kicked me out of my house because I refused to put up shelving in the garage because and I quote "if you are able to play guitar you can easily put a shelf up." Mind you the day after surgery I had my parents bring me my acoustic guitar so I could make sure I still had normal function of my hands and muscles. And the doctors gave me a strict 10lb lift limit and not to raise my hands over my neck until I was healed from my fusion. Much to my and my moms pleading, the stepdouche wouldnt see it any other way.
So 3 months out of surgery I end up getting a full time job and end up working anywhere from 60-75 hours a week in the auto industry. My healing was going remarkable and I was getting my life together. Found a place to live, dumped my cheating ex, and was still playing gigs with my band and doing all my hobbies inbetween the busy workload. All seemed to be okay at this point and I seemed to be a fully functioning/never broken adult.
After about a year of this crazy workload, enter meeting my ex.
Almost 6 years ago I met my ex (July 2017). She was 19 and I was 22. For our first date I picked her up near her parents house at about 6ish. I dont remember all the details of the date, I wish I did (Ill explain soon) but theres two major things I remember. We clicked almost instantly had very similar views on life and what we expected out of eachother and ourselves. And secondly that I dropped her back off at her house at 6am. I had work in 30 minutes and that was the only reason I cut the date off.
So we started dating. Every day we would see eachother. And things went very well for a long time. I bought her food every night we would go and do things multiple times a week, and we generally had a very very healthy and good relationship. I tried to get her to come to car meets with me and my friends but she ended up just sitting in the car for hours by herself and when I would ask her to come out and hang out she would refuse. Nbd, I eventually stopped bringing her along because she was just sitting in the car. Figured that wasnt her scene so I figured id just keep that as guy time. I asked her out in early sept to be my girlfriend and she said she wasnt ready. We talked and she agreed to be exclusive to me however. A few weeks later she came back and asked me about being together and than we were official.
Our first major challenge came in January.
She went to a trade school for 2 months 4 states away. She was thankfully only gone for 2 months and I told her not to worry its only 2 months and I love her alot so Ill be right here when she got back. Thanks to my awesome boss and coworkers I planned it so I flew out to see her every 3 weeks. So she left, was alone for 3 weeks than I flew out for the weekend, than she was alone again for 3 weeks than I flew out to see her again for a weekend than she had 3 more weeks alone than she came back.
The first time I went up to visit her (it was a suprise) her mood completely shifted like she was a new person. She wasnt all lovey dovey like we had been, she was cold and distant. I chalked this up to her being alone and away frok everyone and its just part of her growth. It wasnt but well get to that.
During one of those weekend visits she took me to the shop to introduce me to her teacher and some of the other people. I remember one thing in particular happened. She was introducing me to everyone and all seemed good. The teacher was awesome, his wife was super nice and a few other older gentlemen I met were cool to talk to. Than we walk into the back of the shop and there was a guy probably 2 years older than me back there. She went up and introduced me as following "This is my friend, anon." I shook the dudes hand but he didnt seem interested in knowing me or even wanting to meet me.
Our first fight was here. I asked her why she was ashamed of calling me her BF and she had a million excuses. She was a bit eccentric (which is why I liked her) so I figured thats just the way she is. Nbd.
Now inbetween my two visits to her, I had got sent in a car from work to pick up another car and the rideshare I was in got hit and my neck fusion came loose. I essentially lost my job, lost my paycheck, lost my housing and lost all my hobbies and band over the next 2 months.
Her odd bevahior continued when she got back however and I noticed during the group photo of her class, she and the other young dude were standing close together. (Mind you I probably was over reacting given I was just cheated on but all the circumstances just seemed too much fir me at the time.) I tried to talk to her about what was going on but she was just cold and distant. I told her how I didnt appreciate being called a friend and made to seem like Im just some dude she knows and not someone who she is in a committed relationship with.
I dont remember when this conversation happened but I remember my ex finally telling me that she overheard a women giggling while I was on the phone with her the day before I left on the first trip to see her.
Long story short one of my good friends from middle/high school got a job working with me and she was kind enough to swing me by the airport on friday mornings to see her and pick me up when I got back sunday night. Thats who she heard giggling.
I told her if that was what is causing all this why didnt she talk to me about it and it could have been cleared up right away. She said she over reacted and thought it was much worse but said she can get over it (paraphrasing)
Well after that life went to crap for a while. I moved in with my grandparents. Couldnt do anything fun, couldnt take her out on the dates we used to do multiple times a week and I was in a sour mood a lot. Always in and out of doctor appointments etc. She had pulled away from me physically and it just hurt. She was still there sometimes emotionally but I felt like she just didnt physically see me as a partner.
My second surgery was in September I think. Instead of going through the front of my neck like the first time, they went through the back and my nervous system. This surgery happened about 8 months after the crash. I saw hell. No other way to describe it. 2 of the worst weeks of my life. I remember 3 very vivid things about those 2 weeks. One was literally hell. The second was a nurse aggressively rolling me on my side while I was asleep jarring me awake and sending a tremendous amount of pain throughout my body. The third was me getting up out of bed to go to the bathroom and having one of the loudest and longest farts I think Ive ever laid. I could hear people in adjacent rooms laughing. I use to have the video of this fart but I dont anymore.
This second surgery messed me up beyond belief. Physically, mentally and emotionally. The worst part is that my brain was running on like half power. Ive always been a smart guy, decently high IQ, and while memory was never a strong suit for me my memory was now nothing. Id forget things people told me just minutes after them telling me it... This was one of my biggest hurdles.
When I got home I refused pain pills and ended up throwing up blood. My ex was there by my side through this. She later told me that she was very mad at me because when I was heavily sedated for those two weeks I didnt acknowledge her. To be fair, I dont remember a single person who visited me that second surgery.
A little less than a week back from surgery I had my bearings set a little more straight and was depressed with where I was. I broke up with my ex and told her I cant provide her the life that she deserves. I was expecting pre surgery to be up and running in another 3 months like the first surgery but this was a completely different animal. I knew this wasnt going to be a quick recovery.
So I told her to go find someone better who can take care of her and her needs and spoil her like (i thought) she deserved. She begged and pleaded and after a few months I took her back because I loved her so much and if she was really willing to stick by my side than I would give her everything I could.
The recovery road was long. Little over 3 years. It took a huge toll on not only me but on my Ex. I hit new levels of depression, all my ways of letting out my emotions were now gone (playing music, drawing art, racing cars, etc) I lost my purpose in life, lost my will to push forward and overall just became super lazy about everything. I was sick of hitting rock bottom and starting iver again (this was about the 5th time Ive had to start over from nothing)
Our relationship definitely had its ups and downs during this time. For instance we went on multiple road trips to over 14 states, but she also would hold any physicalintamacy back from me for extended periods of time for seemingly no reason. She lived alone and I lived with my grandparents still. I would be over at her place at least once a week. And wed watch movies or go out and do light activity dates. Though, I was a bit of an ass and constantly would complain if something was too much or if I was in a bad mood and just didnt want to do anything.
Throughout this entire time Im fighting to get disability and settle my lawsuit with the insurance company for my injuries.
Well we hit a crossroads 2 years ago. I just got my disability and got screwed out of my backpay so I didnt have as much as I should have got.
During this time I find out my exs first BF had treated her in a way that was very forceful when they were together and commitied unalived recently. And our rocky physicallove life went nearly to zero at this point. I figured its no big deal shes just dealing with this bombshell of not ever being able to get closure and is probably just not taking it well.
I than find out my whole family was moving out of state. And my GF is highly considering moving out of state aswell. So we take another road trip because I wanted to find a place I could buy a house with a downpayment from my settlement and have a stable living situation for the first time in my life.
My exs parents had moved to a new state about a year after we started dating. So they offered to out us up while we found a place to live/rent. We had gone there a few times to visit over the years and thought that would be a good idea.
So this is where the crossroads were.
I had 3 options.
1) Build out an RV and live the nomadic wandering life I always wanted to live. (I told my ex about this many times and she seemed luke warm at best to the idea)
2) Move with my moms side of the family to State A
3) Move away from everyone I know and love to be with my GF and move to State B where I know no one.
I obviously went with 3. I spent A LOT (over half my settlement) of money moving to this state with her. She moved 2 months before I did and I drove up with her to move her. She ended up making a friend at her new job and I was happy for her because we both are pretty anti social. I got up there right before halloween. So she took me out with some coworkers on Halloween. She just sat at a table and didnt say much. Didnt introduce me to anyone and overall it was a pretty crap night.
At this point we had zero physicalintimacy in the relationship. We moved out of her parents place in 3 months and I figured that might help fix a little bit of the intimacy issues... it didnt. I suggested she see a therapist so she can work through this stuff and maybe we see a couples therapist so that we can work on us a bit more. I was still head over heels for this women and did everything I could to help her.
My depression took another turn for the worse at this point. I now had no friends. No family. I was all alone with this girl that I love that doesnt hold my hand or give me kisss on the cheeks or even a hug anymore. Id take her on dates and not even get a thanks. My already bad habits got worse. I kept pushing however to try and be better for her but it was never enough.
I am HORRIBLE at doing chores. Ever since I was a kid. I got better at them as I grew up but I aas back to a little kid by the time we were in our new place. We tried lots of things. I was working every day to be better at them and be mindful of them. I simply would just forget. Or maybe my blinders were on and I just wouldnt do them. However even if very little I was doing more and more every day. My body was giving out on me though and some days I couldnt do more than a hour before I was exhausted. She came to me a few months back and said "you need to do more " so I did. I pushed myself harder and harder. It was never enough.
Around this time she brought up that she wanted to go bear hunting with 3 of her guy co workers. I flat out said no. Not only is it innappropriate but I dont know a single one of those coworkers, dont know if she even told them shes in a relationship, and my ex is avidly against ever using a gun herself. This was a fighting point thats been getting brought up for months now. She seems to think its perfectly okay and I dont see it that way.
She always had something to tell me how I was wrong. She told me she hated that I was home all the time (we both are homebodies) she hated that I never let her go out with her co workers (I told her multiple times to go out aand hang out with them. Just let me know whats going on and occasionally invite mee out with you all so I can make some friends too) she said I never did chores even though she agreed I was doing a lot better and picking uo my slack. It just hurt a lot because I feeel like I absolutely had things I needed to work on but at least I was putting in the effort. Meanwhile she has never once tried to fix our physical love side which is the ONLY thing I have ever asked of her.
Well a month ago she broke up with me. I begged and pleaded that we could make it work but she was set on it. The next day I caught her on a backroad going on a date with a guy. She swears "its just dinner with a co worker." She did this 3 days before I had a trip for my Bday back to my home state. Long story short my trip that should have been about $1.2k and 2 weeks long ended up costing me $4.5k and I cut it short to get home.
When I get home I find other guys laundry in my house... than I find out my now ex doesnt come home until 4am drunk. (This really makes me mad because shes been curious about drinking and weed and I told her we could do it so she hhas a safe place at home to get as crazy as she wants. She always had a excuse why she didnt want to do it.) At this point im livid. Its clear shes been setting up another relationship/fwb situation and just stringing me along. Theres a lot of details that have happened over the last month but its mostly just her saying "we might work out but you have to leave the house for me to find out."
I also find out that she got a therapist and did everything I had asked of her for the past 2+ years the second she broke up with me.
My heart was broken. Im completely alone. I got no where to go. Every night now she is out til 2am with this dude, going on dates and even sleeping over at his place multiple times a week. She also is trying to kick me out of the house although we agreed that she would move out since I have 9 vehicles and the place we are staying is on mulitple acres. She flipped this and got her parents involved and they are all now trying to kick me out of the house. Even though her parents have more than enough room for her to stay with them for a while. But nope Im the bad guy and I need to move. And trust me, I want to move but sadly theres nowhere to rent. In a 60 mile radius there is 1 rental. Yes just one. All apartments waiting lists are 1 1/2 years +. My life is in shambles and I now have to start over once again.
Theres two major things that came up in our conversations over this past month that really completely destroyed me. 1) I was only 19 when we got together I shouldnt be locked down by you and stuck with you. 2) I dont date my best friend, and you never were my best friend.
Tldr
I know a lot was said in here but there also was a lot not said. Im not a perfect person. No one is. We all have our flaws. And I made many mistakes in this relationship. But I also own up to those which my Ex never would admit she ever did anything wrong. But If you made it this far I just want you to know. If you see red flags stop ignoring them. Do NOT move your entire life for someone and most importantly give up your material possessions.
Im just so devistated about how quick she moved on like a light switch and how awful she is being to me and how Im stuck here in this house while she already is shagging up with another person. It just really hurts and theres nothing I can do about it. I know this is for best in the long run. And we never would have worked out. But that doesnt stop it from hurting this bad. I just wish I didnt uproot my life for her and give her as much energy as I did.

Hi,
I was invited to this bustling community, so I hope to find someone. I am from Houston, Texas. Well, I live just outside of Houston, but people who live near Houston usually say they are from Houston.
Anyway, I am 25 years old, and I was studying medicine overseas. I have permanently returned to the USA to continue my education. I work part time as an uber eats driver. I spend most of my time studying. This might be a relatively long post.
Hobbies/Interests: My hobbies are similar to most people, and we don't have to share the same hobbies or interests. - Movies and TV (Sci-fi, horror, and crime) - Exercising, especially running - Food (Thai, Mediterranean, and Indian) - Reading - Boardgames and videogames - Nature-y stuff. Walking outside. - Music (Instrumental, orchestral, and rap). I listen to songs from each genre. - Investing
I want to pickup more hobbies and interests. I would like to learn how to play the piano and violin. I want to learn a new language. I want to do outdoor activities such as hiking and maybe even camping. I have always wanted to learn video effects. It's great if you do one or multiple of these things, so I can learn or participate too. We can pickup a joint hobby too. However, I am a homebody. I would describe myself as reserved, calm, but adventurous. I like to tease when I feel comfortable around someone.

• I have no physical requirements because I like people of all sizes and shapes. My tastes vary. However, I do want someone who is healthy, not necessarily skinny. I would like someone who is understanding, open, versatile, and elegant among other things. I believe romance and intimacy are vital to a relationship, so I am drawn to physical affection. I love food, so that is one way to get to my heart.
  
• Physical Description: I am 5' 7" ~ ish. I have short black hair right now, but I am looking to grow it out again. My skin is light caramel, and I have dark brown eyes. My body is slim to average, but I would like to think I am fit. I enjoy running, and I like lifting too. I workout at home since I do not have a gym membership. I might sport some stubble, but I am usually clean shaven. My clothing style is atrocious. I usually wear shorts and a shirt. I need to improve my clothing game.
  
• Religion & Politics: I like to call myself a non-resistant nonbeliever, which is similar to agnosticism. I attended a Christian church when I was younger, and my undergraduate school was Catholic. My parents practice Hinduism, so I have some exposure to religion. I am open to anyone regardless of religious affiliation, and I would definitely like to learn. The same applies to politics. I think it is important to be challenged and to grow as a result. It's hard to pinpoint my political stance, but it is neither conservative nor democratic. My political ideology is always evolving.
  
• Marriage & Kids: I envision a meaningful connection that is built on the premise of transcending the confines of societal expectations of matrimony and children, for I firmly believe that true love and commitment cannot be reduced to a legal contract or the obligation of raising offspring. I do not see myself in marriage. I do not see the point. While some people might find it strange, I believe that a strong and meaningful relationship doesn't require a marriage certificate. However, I would throw that out the window if the right person wanted marriage. Only Siths deal in absolutes. I prefer to focus on building a connection with someone without the added pressure and expectations of marriage. I also do not want kids. I value my time and would rather use it to focus on my partner. If anything, I'd consider adoption, but I'm leaning toward no kids. What more can I say? You know about me. Tell me about yourself.
  
• Please message me via DM or PM. No ghosters please as if that will deter them. I'd like to talk regularly to build a connection. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to be ghosted or receive messages from people who only send me one word replies. Do not message me if you want me to buy you items. I will not buy anything for you. I might have mentioned too much in this post. You don't have to read everything, and I don't mind repeating myself. I am willing to send a picture to verify. I expect the same if you ask me for a picture. If you have any advice on improving my post, then let me know. Peace out.
  

Previous
Writer's note: The last section has a big time anime trope lol. And the best part is I hinted at some of it a bit in one of the recent chapters.
Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amina stood nearly six inches taller than Nguyen as she approached and stood directly in front of him.
To his credit, he didn't balk as she glared down at him. He stood tall and straight and met her eye to eye, albeit at an upward angle.
"My husband has, or at least HAD, a lot of respect for you FIRST SERGEANT." She said sternly, ignoring Werner and the other soldier. "He lost a lot of that as a result of your..... inactions.... in the desert."
Nguyen's jaw clenched for a moment. "That makes two of us." He said in response.
Amina stared at him for a moment longer, then nodded and turned back to Werner.
"Arm your people." She said to the Ambassador. Then she looked down at Nguyen again. "Deploy them to the refugee sector to aide in the evacuation. Only fire at any golems that pose a threat or appear to be attempting to escape the perimeter of the cordon." She glanced at the other members of her command staff. "Restraining anklets stay on though. And you are to report in immediately once this has settled down."
Then she lowered herself a bit and spoke softly.
"And if any Earth personnel ever act against my people again. You will not have time to regret it, and you will not need James to be your executioner." She whispered into Nguyen's ears. Then she pulled back and looked him in the eyes again.
Nguyen swallowed, then nodded curtly.
"Understood." He said. Then he looked over at Werner, who nodded.
And with that the two Earth soldiers took off at a jog, leaving Werner behind.
As they turned the corner, one of the junior officers from earlier came running around the corner with a large jar.
"Your pickled onions General." The soldier said uncertainly.
Amina grabbed the jar greedily and moved back to her position in the room.
-----------------------------------
Alixan and Veliry, the latter of which had only just arrived, crept through the still hot tunnel carefully.
Alixan, being close to eight feet tall, had to practically crouch to move through the hastily excavated and reinforced earth as he moved. Veliry only had to hunch a bit every now and then when her new antlers brushed against lower portions of the ceiling.
"They summoned an elemental." The Prince said. "In their own control room."
"That's what the our Agent said." Veliry replied.
They had spoken , briefly, to the party of subterranean forces as they'd rapidly evacuated. Many of them had been carried out on litters, their bodies burned from the excess heat and steam that had been created before the doorway leading to the Agency's room had been destroyed.
"Won't be much evidence left then." Alixan said. "Just like last time, unfortunately."
Veliry nodded. A fire elemental was a good way to destroy evidence. Likely the reason the Agency seemed so fond of using them. Though where they were getting them was anyone's guess.
"Still." She said as they rounded the last corner. "We must do our..... dilligence?" She said uncertainly.
The uncertainty was shared by both of the mages as they saw not just a destroyed door. But a second door a few yards away, which was leaning across the hallway. They sensed no magical energy coming from it. And unlike everything else in the tunnel it was neither scorched, nor terribly warm.
Alixan carefully lifted it up and was surprised to find that it had a note on it.
Not written on parchment and tacked to the door.
Not carved into it as if with a knife.
Instead it was engraved into the wood of the door as if it had been built specifically for the task of having the message on it. It was also written in a style of Petravian that hadn't been used in nearly three centuries, though both of them could read it thanks to their studies as mages.

Bother yourselves with us no longer. We have larger tasks to tackle. Enjoy the final days of your paltry kingdom in ignorance. And thank you for ridding me of ambitious fools.

"Whoever they are, something tells me that they're being sincere." Alixan said after he read the message, and Veliry felt inclined to agree with him. "And that makes me more than a little concerned."
-----------------------------------
Even with his inhuman speed, the excitement was over before James got to it.
He felt the intense magical heat dissipate, then disappear entirely, when he was only a block away. Golems he had passed on his way over were already on the ground dead, their amorphous forms melting to reveal the lifeless bodies within. James felt pity for the former refugees, who had moved into this are of the city for a chance at restarting their lives after the previous devastation, only to be violated by the Agency.
When he got to the sight of all the action, he was surprised to find that it wasn't a building. Instead a large cluster of Petravian soldiers and mages were clustered around the entrance to some kind of cellar, or crypt or something. A lot of the mages were helping to heal people who looked like Petravian soldiers, but with what he recognized as mining gear. Many of them were burned, and the few mages that were among those being healed had the tell tale black veins of magical overuse.
He found himself standing next to a rather oddly clothed pair of were-folk, who he looked at curiously as he recognized the rotary grenade launcher that one of them was wearing on a shoulder strap. And also the DMR equipped CT-6.5 that the other was holding loosely. They looked at him in mild shock and his eyes widened as he saw the goggles on their faces, which looked familiar even though he'd never seen them before.
Then the crowd around them quieted. The tall fox-like one's head snapped up and looked over James.
"Chief!" The were-squirrel next to the fox said as they, evidently a woman if James's ears were correct, moved to run over to the figure emerging from the tunnel.
"Chief?" James asked as he turned to follow the squirrel's movement.
"Holy shit." The fox said as he too moved to approach the newcomers.
"Goddam." James said as he saw them.
One of them was a tall, if somewhat gangly looking, man in armor of a brilliant blue. It looked like the highest quality plate armor James had ever seen, though it did not cover their hands or feet. And yet even as he watched, the armor seemed to melt away, leaving behind water and vapor as it did.
James's head quirked to the side as he recognized the person underneath, though he'd never seen him like this before.
"Marcos?" He asked.
The old man, and Royal Arch Mage, was nothing like James was used to seeing him. Typically he was a hunched over, robed, geriatric who looked one hard fall away from death. But as James saw him carrying out the limp, burned, form of a were-person of some kind, he looked like a warrior. The grey tunic he wore was wet from the melting armor, and revealed musculature that surprised James. His sleeves looked to have been burned off, revealing wiry arms with whipcord musculature. He also wasn't hunched over anymore, and as a result he seemed to be close to six feet tall.
"I need healers." The old man said. The slow, almost halting, speech pattern he normal spoke in all but gone. Then he held up the burned form in his arms. "This man is very nearly dead."
"Chief Vickers!" The squirrel exclaimed again as she and the fox ran over.
"Vickers?" James asked silently as he saw the people around begin moving to help.
And he realized that Vickers was the burnt body Marcos was carrying.
"Oh.... Shit." James said as he moved to join everyone.

Watching how Heather and Bre confronted Chelsea bothers me so much, she basically Gaslit Chelsea. I think Chelsea’s feelings are valid. Heather immediately going to Bre and being like “Chelsea’s talking shit to the whole office about you” like THAT is shit stirring and being 2 faced. If it really bothered Heather sooo much she should have told Chelsea right then and there in the office that she should have a conversation with Bre about it. Yes maybe Chelsea shouldn’t have gone and shared that gossip to the office. But Heather is such a loser for saying she’s not a shit stirrer or two faced when she’s exactly that. Heather was boring this season and it seems so childish for her to fabricate this drama. I like Bre and I like Chelsea and I hope they can work through their issues in the future. But Heather really needs more self awareness and reflection in her life.

Throwaway.
9 months post BU.
I hear grown people talk about their rough partings always, but give my young, late teenage heart a chance.
Listen to my story. And if you have any words to ease me, or sharing your own experiences, that would be lovely.
I met him through a girlfriend, who also liked him. But when I met him it’s like he took me off my feet. He was my best friend, and now he’s my worst nightmare. I had never had a serious boyfriend before him, and maybe like he said, it was really me who fucked it all up.
This same girlfriend comes into play, because I caught him with her. I was having issues with her, she didn’t like me anymore suddenly, I had known her for years. It caught me off guard and I was angry at her, and I told my boyfriend just because, not thinking he had anything to do with it, and he had nothing to say. He was rather angry, honestly. Told me, “I should figure it out with her and it’s not his problem.”
On Thursday, I see them walking home together. He had two of his guy friends with him, but I didn’t care. I just explained my issues with her, and he didn’t care? So I went up to the store they were at, and yelled at him myself. That is where this began.
I asked his friend if he had been weird with her, he said yes. That’s all I needed.
After I went home from the store he was at with her, he left me over text. Told me he hoped we could be friends in the future, and he wished me well. I respected what he had to say, and it quite literally only went downhill from there.
He told everybody, that I was insane. That I had followed him for no reason. That he never wanted to speak to me again. He told all my friends. He spread rumors. He called me abusive. Accused me of things that didn’t even happen. There are so many other things that have been said indirectly by him, I can’t even remember or tell you all of them. Said, that I “mind-fucked him.” And that’s not to say I didn’t do anything wrong ever, because I think we all make mistakes in our relationships, have them be platonic, familial, or romantic. But I could admit I did something wrong. He can’t.
He refused to give me my belongings back by ghosting me, and I had his mother’s number on dial and I told him if he continued to refuse to give me my things back, I’d call his mom and figure it out with her. That’s what got his attention. I mentioned in my rage that maybe he just cheated on me, and that’s where all this defensive ghosting behavior was coming from. And he told me, that he “didn’t cheat on me, I was just a shitty girlfriend.” He had told me things and the way he felt about everything for the first time.
His last few words to me were, “pimp out.” He even told me I was “lucky he wasn’t telling people the truth,” I didn’t even know what the “truth” was. This was not about me. It was about him, and how he felt, and what I did to him. My friends sided with him, some of which I really loved. It caused me trouble in my day to day life and being tortured with hearing things that come from him and the unsaid.
It was, “she followed me there.” But nobody ever thought to ask why? And that’s what got me about this whole story. He left out the vital point of the situation, told a shit ton of people, and ran with it. And never, ever apologized.
I can admit when I’m wrong. I do my best to take criticism, and I do my best to change. I combed through my self worth and doubt for months, wondering if this breakup really did broil down to my dumbass, and if it was truly my fault. Going back to each and every single fight we had, every dispute. Communicating things that could have been handled, maybe it really was something I had done?
But this is what throws me off. Is this fucking girl.
What I don’t tolerate, is bullshit. I don’t tolerate the fact he had been talking to this girl full time behind my back for months. This girl that was supposed to be my friend, I think? She cut me off weeks before we broke up anyway. But what I don’t tolerate is that it had been in front of my face, through vital points in my life, and I was clueless. What was going on was quite literally right in front of me but if I had just looked harder maybe I would have seen the signs, I could have stopped it.
The cherry on top?
He is now dating her.
Heart fucking destroyed.
And I don’t think that’s convenient at all. I think everything I suspected was true. I think they had this planned out. I think he knew, as much as she knew her self. I believe high school girls are catty… And I think many people would agree with me, when I say that some girls, will do anything to get a boy. Forget the relationship you and her had prior, because he is now all that matters. As quiet, and calm, and as anxiety ridden, she is… I’m not surprised at the end of the day how shit panned out.
It’s now summer time, this happened last fall. And unfortunately, I am still destroyed. I still think of him, I still think of what we had, and I still think of the virgin, innocent, love that me and this boy experienced. It’s hard, because at some points I question was it even real at all? What could I have done better to provide more longevity for this relationship? What could I have changed? What did I do wrong? Why do I still love him?
I never had a discussion with him. He just left in cold blood, and he has not spoken to me since. He has not looked at me. He has not spoken to me. He has not displayed a singular ounce of regret. He only displays malice. He is not the same boy that I met.
This situation leaves so many questions. It has left me with so many questions. It has left me to wonder why they are so silent towards me. Does their silence have a greater meaning?
Are they not speaking because they are angry? Or is it really because they’re embarrassed of what they did, and they’re aware?
I’m bitter and salty. Who wouldn’t be? I cliché, got my boyfriend stolen, obviously. What we had was so real. We had a connection. It felt like my soul was healed with him. We met so innocently. Everything we experienced was authentic. We cried, ate, laughed together. And for him to just discard me like the trash? Sick.
My heart still wants him, daily. Parts of me, still want him. I still want him to reach out and apologize, and I don’t want him to move on. I want to be stuck in his head forever. I want him to never forget what happened. I want him to realize what he did to me.
But I think I’ve learned now, this wasn’t an overnight thing. This was cooking for months. Yet again, there were signs. My head knows what is right.
But I still think that maybe if I had just stayed home, instead of catching them, it’d be different.
My advice is worthless, but take it from me.
Set your boundaries, and learn clean and clear communication. Do not be blinded by what is in front of you, because the mirror is deceiving. Sort out your issues with your person, because letting them sit does not fix a singular thing. Know it’s okay to mess up, too. But not everything is your fault.
Just thought you were better than that, J.
Thanks so much for listening.