Main hub thread with the full 131 rankings
Louisiana Tech’s got an incredibly rich football history that I couldn’t believe while researching them. These are just a few of the players they’ve had in the last 30 years, not even 40. NFL Hall of Fame OL Willie Roaf (1989-92). WR Troy Edwards (1995-98) won the Biletnikoff Award in 1998. QB Tim Rattay (1997-99) finished his career with the 2nd most passing yards in NCAA history, in just 3 years. P Ryan Allen (2010-12) won the Ray Guy Award twice (2011, 2012). RB Kenneth Dixon (2012-15) broke the NCAA record for career TDs with 87. DE Jaylon Ferguson set the NCAA record for career sacks with 45. They even had LB IK Enemkpali (2009-13), who revitalized Geno Smith’s NFL career by punching him in the New York Jets locker room. And before the cutoff of this series, NFL Hall of Famers QB Terry Bradshaw and DL Fred Dean played for them.

Best Seasons and Highlights

1. 2012: 34. Louisiana Tech: 9-3 (12.042) 2. 1997: 26. Louisiana Tech: 9-2 (9.545) 3. 1999: 27. Louisiana Tech: 8-3 (9.149) 4. 2014: 39. Louisiana Tech: 9-5 (7.613) 5. 2019: 37. Louisiana Tech: 10-3 (6.188) 6. 1990: 35. Louisiana Tech: 8-3-1 (4.552) 7. 1991: 34. Louisiana Tech: 8-1-2 (4.549) 8. 2015: 48. Louisiana Tech: 9-4 (4.066) 9. 2016: 50. Louisiana Tech: 9-5 (0.236) 10. 1989: 44. Louisiana Tech: 5-4-1 (-1.569) 11. 2005: 47. Louisiana Tech: 7-4 (-2.989) 12. 2011: 53. Louisiana Tech: 8-5 (-3.475) 13. 2001: 59. Louisiana Tech: 7-5 (-7.855) 14. 2018: 68. Louisiana Tech: 8-5 (-8.212) 15. 2008: 62. Louisiana Tech: 8-5 (-9.691) 16. 2017: 66. Louisiana Tech: 7-6 (-9.923) 17. 1996: 57. Louisiana Tech: 6-5 (-12.911) 18. 2004: 65. Louisiana Tech: 6-6 (-13.772) 19. 1998: 63. Louisiana Tech: 6-6 (-14.167) 20. 1992: 64. Louisiana Tech: 5-6 (-15.760) 21. 2020: 89. Louisiana Tech: 5-5 (-17.370) 22. 2003: 79. Louisiana Tech: 5-7 (-20.759) 23. 2010: 80. Louisiana Tech: 5-7 (-22.310) 24. 2009: 91. Louisiana Tech: 4-8 (-26.877) 25. 1995: 76. Louisiana Tech: 5-6 (-28.345) 26. 2007: 90. Louisiana Tech: 5-7 (-29.165) 27. 2002: 89. Louisiana Tech: 4-8 (-32.400) 28. 2021: 109. Louisiana Tech: 3-9 (-38.713) 29. 2022: 118. Louisiana Tech: 3-9 (-41.486) 30. 2013: 102. Louisiana Tech: 4-8 (-41.915) 31. 2000: 99. Louisiana Tech: 3-9 (-44.020) 32. 1994: 95. Louisiana Tech: 3-8 (-44.390) 33. 1993: 103. Louisiana Tech: 2-9 (-52.842) 34. 2006: 114. Louisiana Tech: 3-10 (-55.710) Overall Score: 9632 (85th) 

• 206-196-4 record
• 2 conference titles 7-3-1 bowl record
  
• 3 consensus All-Americans
  
• 33 NFL players drafted
  

Out of 34 seasons played, 17 have been winning records, with 3 more .500 seasons. Not only that, they’ve won at least 4 games in 28 seasons, so 82% of the time they’re guaranteed at least a 4-8 record. That is remarkable consistency, especially for a team that’s never finished in the Top 25. LT’s always been “good” and never “great”, save for perhaps a few years in the late 90’s when they had an offensive explosion. Their 3 consensus All-Americans are Willie Roaf (1992), Troy Edwards (1998), and Ryan Allen (2012).

Top 5 Seasons

Worst Season: 2006 (3-10 overall, 1-7 WAC)
QBed by Zac Champion, the 2006 Bulldogs were anything but. Despite winning 3 games, they ranked as the 6th worst team in football, averaging just 18.6 PPG while giving up an NCAA-worst 41.7 PPG. They were feeling generous, providing most teams with their biggest margin of victory of the season. LT lost 7 games by 30+ points, and finished with a 23-50 L to 3-8 New Mexico State. The offense did have a few really good games. A 48-35 win over Utah State prevented LT from being last place in the WAC, thanks to 4 TD from Champion. WR Jonathan Holland caught 35 passes for 503 yards and 3 TD, and was drated in the 7th round of the 2007 NFL Draft.
5. 2019 (10-3 overall, 6-2 Conference USA)
In the opener against Texas, LT lost 14-45, but may have actually had the more talented defensive backfield than the Longhorns, who insisted on calling themselves “DBU”. CB Amik Robertson and S L’Jarius Sneed were both drafted in the 4th round of the 2020 NFL Draft, and combined for 8 INTs in 2019. DB Michael Sam added 3 more. After the loss, LT went on an 8 game winning streak to get to 8-1, although only 1 of those teams they beat finished with a winning record; Southern Miss at 7-6. After dropping a game to Marshall, they played 7-3 UAB for a spot in the C-USA title game, but down to their backup QB, LT could only manage 14 points in a 14-20 loss. A win over UTSA finished off the regular season at 9-3. In the bowl, despite a win, Louisiana Tech was not the focus of headlines, it was the ineptitude of Manny Diaz’s Miami (FL) offense, which completed just 15/34 passes for 227 yards and 2 INT in a 14-0 loss. The game was 7-0 up until the final 1:30, when LT QB J’Mar Smith ran in an 8 yard dagger. This was the first time EVER a G5 team shut out a P5 team in a bowl game. Smith finished a solid career, earning 1st Team All-CUSA with 2977 passing yards 18 TD 5 INT with 264 rushing yards and 4 TD. Amik Robertson was named a 1st Team All-American by FWAA.
4. 2014 (9-5 overall, 7-1 Conference USA)
This is what we call an up and down season. Armed with an unknown, but in hindsight stacked, offense and a feisty defense, LT would flip flop between big win and head-scratching loss throughout the year. Just a 2-3 start included a win over eventual 9-4 UL Lafayette, and losses to #4 Oklahoma and #5 Auburn, but also a 27-30 loss to FCS Northwestern State. They were fine in the C-USA, DESTROYING 7-6 UTEP 55-3, 8-5 Western Kentucky 59-10, and 8-5 Rice 76-31. The Rice win clinched a spot in the C-USA championship game, where LT posed a unique threat to 11-1 Marshall. Marshall had just lost to Western Kentucky, who LT beat by nearly 50 points earlier in the year. Up 23-16 at the start of the 4th, Louisiana Tech saw their defenses fall to a really good Marshall offense, who won the game 26-23 and won the C-USA title. The season ended on a high with a 35-18 win over Illinois in the bowl. Senior QB Cody Sokol finally got his chance to start after spending the previous 3 years at community college and Iowa, throwing for 3436 yards 30 TD 13 INT. His offensive weapons turned out to be LOADED. RB Kenneth Dixon had 1684 yards and 28 TD from scrimmage, and would break the NCAA record for career TDs with 87. WR Trent Taylor would lead the nation in receiving yards 2 years later with 1803, and WR Carlos Henderson would lead the NCAA in receiving TDs that same year, going for 1535 yards and 19 TD. Both were drafted in the 2017 NFL Draft.
3. 1999 (8-3 overall, Independent)
Gone were All-American WR Troy Edwards and coach Gary Crowton, but QB Tim Rattay still remained after throwing for 4943 yards and 46 TD to just 13 INT a year prior. What was the plan? Throw the ball, throw the ball again, and then throw the ball some more. Going full air raid, they averaged 52 passes a game compared to just 23 rushing attempts per game. After an expected 1-2 start, they headed to #18 Alabama to go to 1-3, except Rattay had other plans. Down 22-28, Rattay led LT to the Alabama 20 with just 1 minute left to play. Except, on the very next play he was sacked and went out with an injury. Fast forward a few plays later, backup QB Brian Stallworth was on for 4th and 23(!), lobbing up a pass for the 6’4 Sean Cangelosi who came down with the TD 28-28, with just 3 seconds to go! It wasn’t even over yet, as kicker Kevin Pond had missed 2 extra points in the same game, but nailed this one to win it 29-28. Alabama would go on to win the SEC title, while LT won 8 of their last 9 games to finish 8-3. Rattay finished 10th in Heisman voting, throwing for 3922 yards 35 TD and 12 INT, leaving as the NCAA’s 2nd all-time leading passer. WRs Delwyn Daigre, Sean Cangelosi, James Jordan, and RB John Simon had 1000+, 900+, 800+, and 700+ receiving yards, respectively. LT would go on to join the WAC and win the conference title just 2 years later in 2001.
2. 1997 (9-2 overall, Independent)
Tim Rattay took over the reigns at QB in 1997, and quickly found his favorite target in WR Troy Edwards. Rattay led the nation in passing yards, throwing for 3881 yards 34 TD 10 INT, while Edwards had almost 50% of the team’s receiving yards, catching 102 passes for 1707 yards and 13 TD, also ranking 3rd on the team in rushing with 190 yards and 3 TD on just 15 carries! Louisiana Tech had a 41-34 win over Cal, and 26-20 win AT Alabama, with the only losses coming to SEC runner-up Auburn and 13-17 to Arkansas. This was a young, but dangerous Bulldog team. Edwards would win the Biletnikoff the next year, having arguably the best season by a WR in college football history with 140 catches for 1996 yards and 27(!!!) TD in just 12 games. Not to mention, he also had 227 rushing yards and 3 TD on just 21 carries. Oh, and a punt return TD as well. That’s 2223 yards from scrimmage and 30 TD by a WR, who was also 4th in the nation in punt return average with 18.1.
1. 2012 (9-3 overall, 4-2 WAC)
This was during the swan song of the WAC, 2012, when everyone popped off to have their best years ever. Utah State and San Jose State’s best years were both 2012 as well, and both finished above LT. While those Rattay-Edwards teams had some great offenses, 2012’s was in another stratosphere, and might be the best offense you’ve never heard of. The 2012 Louisiana Tech team averaged 51.5 PPG, most in the nation. Yes, you heard that right, 51.5 PPG. That’s the 3rd highest since 2000, which is the furthest back CFB Reference’s team offense data goes. After a 5-0 start, they played against Johnny Manziel and Texas A&M in a game you might remember, where LT nearly came back from down 23-46 to lose just 57-59 after a failed 2 point conversion. Manziel had 576 total yards and 6 TD while LT QB Colby Cameron had 475 and 5. After a 9-1 start, the defense let them down against fellow WAC contenders Utah State and San Jose State, losing 41-48 and 43-52. The defense ended up being 6th worst in the nation, giving up 38.5 PPG.
QB Colby Cameron won WAC Offensive POTY, completing 69% of passes for 4147 yards and 31 TD to just 5 INT. RB Kenneth Dixon won WAC Freshman POTY, rushing for 1194 yards and 27 TD on 6.0 YPC. RB Ray Holley was a capable backup with 1064 yards and 8 TD from scrimmage, earning 2nd Team All-WAC. WR Quinton Patton was Cameron’s favorite WR, going for 1392 yards and 13 TD. The best player though, was punter Ryan Allen, who was a consensus All-American and won his 2nd Ray Guy Award, averaging 48 yards per punt, not that they were punting often though.

5th Quarter

Where does the 2012 offense rank among the best offenses in college football history in your opinion? Was it better than the Rattay-Edwards offenses? Why didn’t Rattay and Edwards work in the NFL? What do you remember about the Louisiana Tech teams listed above? And what does the future look like for a Louisiana Tech team that’s been facing stiff in-state competition from UL Lafayette and Tulane in recent years?
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So my post about stretching got removed for being low effort? I'll try to increase my effort with this repost. I didn't realize posting in this channel was like a full-time job. Meanwhile people posting screenshots of books?
Basically, for whatever reason, stretching my legs is a necessity for me for SR. Especially at night before bed to help me sleep. It seems to really help disperse the energy throughout my body. I've always had fairly weak and feeble legs, but now I definitely understand that there's a connection between sexual energy and your legs.
Here are the stretches that I use the most, since people were asking for it in the last post:
First of all, stretching should not be something that is painful like every time you do it. That's a common misconception. The way you want to do it is you stretch as far as you can up until it starts to get uncomfortable. Then you pull back slightly from there so that there's still a stretch but it's not really uncomfortable, you could probably stay in that position for a decent while fairly comfortably. That's step one. Step two is to actually relax while in that position. You'll find that the tension in your muscles is actually not all that necessary and that you can kind of relax into the position so that it becomes your new home a bit. Then eventually you'll be able to go further and you can repeat the process again. The idea that stretching needs to be painful and uncomfortable is the problem because it's actually counter productive. It's not just unnecessary, it's straight up less productive overall.
My favorite stretches are the following because I feel like you can hit everything just with these:
* First there's the basic "touch your toes" which you can do standing or sitting. I really like to also do them where my legs are in a v shape in front of me. This one is good for hamstrings,lower back, and some other weird stuff if you do it while pointing your toes towards you. Legs apart will also hit inner thighs and different parts of the thighs [touch toes apart](https://media.self.com/photos/591c534b56bb4c0d5c4d39b2/2:1/w_2580,c_limit/stretch.jpg) [touch toes legs together](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRX9k27bVq5aZTP18viwhc5gJzTaGKHikPNlw&usqp=CAU). Don't feel bad if you cant go very far. I actually get kind of excited when I find a movement where my mobility is surprisingly terrible. It means I find the goldmine so to speak. Just follow the steps I mentioned above and it'll be a nice relaxing session with great progress and a ton of relief.
* [butterfly stretch](https://www.verywellfit.com/thmb/my_BC7_gxkQUcbo09KkppRP48bg=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/87-3120294-ButterflyStretches0263-49db496667e54ab0b6528e7dee2d329c.jpg:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/87-3120294-ButterflyStretches0263-49db496667e54ab0b6528e7dee2d329c.jpg)) love this one too, hips, thighs, lower back. I like to stack one foot on top of another instead of having them touching at the bottoms if that makes sense.
* [pigeon stretch](https://images.ctfassets.net/p0sybd6jir63MNagkluwLBql1r1TuGXqm/443f130acbb306566bbe35f8a53e6c78/variation-of-half-pigeon-pose-34dc127c903f9050e34084069308035a.jpg?w=1600&q=70). If I had to only pick one it would probably be this one. Hits the most stuff. Thighs, hips, glutes, hamstrings,hip flexors (on the back leg). Definitely put the leg that's in front of you on an elevated surface like your bed to hit the glutes. I find the glutes are like the hardest to stretch but this variation is a must for me.
* [quads](https://www.sensational-yoga-poses.com/0-images/kneeling-toe-tuck-stretch-1.jpg). I couldn't find a good picture for this but you basically start in that position and then lean back. I don't have my legs touching like that I like them more spread out. I grab my ankles with my hands for stability. This will hit both quads but you can then kind of cheat to one side or the other to put more emphasis on each quad. Also really stretches your hip flexors. It might actually be hard to hit your quads because the tightness of your hip flexors might not let you. This also stretches your toes if you notice how your toes are positioned.
* [toes](https://docpods.com.au/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2019/08/Top-of-Foot-Stretch-WEB-800x800.jpg) the quad stretch shows you how to stretch the toes backwards, the other one is to stretch them forwards. I like to put an exercise mat and then I just dig into the mat using a table or something to support me. Can do both feet at the same time. I wouldn't overlook the toes at all, I actually think it's one of the most useful stretches for me, weirdly enough. I think I do a lot of standing and the relief I get from stretching my feet and toes is like straight up euphoric sometimes. I could just fall asleep right after... Here's a really good [video](https://youtu.be/KvAto6yIGLY) if you want an in depth on foot stretching in general. Kit is like an encyclopedia on stretching.
* [hips](https://i0.wp.com/thumbs.gfycat.com/RemarkableBigheartedHapuku-size_restricted.gif?h=840) this one is really good too, I'll usually do this in bed and just fall asleep after. I vary it be straightening my legs out, turning my hips outward, etc.
I didn't include calves because I don't think it's as essential as the other stretches as I mentioned but for calves i would do [this](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRAvlEwSFF6qL5SFJiYkXhVHPP56w5mjAWkSkNn4bi5Aw&s) and [this](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcScsEiNboqoQZUOu4I5DFcr7GCz-FM85BYQHQ&usqp=CAU) the caveat with calves is that I actually find it more affective to deep massage them. Deep massage and then stretch is the best. Your feet also need a deep massage too sometimes. You can massage using a lacrosse ball or something with a sharp corner or your elbow is my go to. There's also fairly cheap massage guns you can get on Amazon that are good for this.
Lmk if you have any questions

First off, huge thanks to anyone answering my question. I'm sure what I'm about to share will sound petty, but it's been affecting me for some time now, and I'm open to anything that might help me not be so bothered... or perhaps hurt is the more appropriate word.
My wife and I have been together for over 25 years, married for all but a few of those. We have 3 kids aged 15, 13, and 11. My wife chose to be a SAHM after our first was born, which I highly respected. I have a decent paying career, but in order to get ahead, I started a small side-business that nearly doubles our income - it's easily 40+ hours per week of work, but I'm able to do a lot of it from my day job, so I only end up working 6-10 hours/week from home, usually when my family is sleeping.
This year has been one of the strangest for my marriage, for a variety of reasons I won't get fully into here, but suffice to say my wife is experiencing some hormonal changes that have contributed to the strangeness. Anyway, we've adapted and things are feeling more or less normal at this point.
However, she seems to have developed a near obsession with doing things. Don't get me wrong, we've always loved doing things like travelling, going to shows, and such. But this last year has been something else. Whereas in the past, we'd schedule some sort of trip/event every 2-3 months (far more than any of our friends or family), we have something going every single month this year. We're not just talking movie dates, but multiple nights away from home. We've already done one 10 day trip across the country, we're leaving on a 16 day trip to another country in 2 weeks, and a month after that, we're heading off for another week to a different state. Sprinkled between all of that are various weekend trips.
This all sounds great, and honestly, I'd be 100% on board if it weren't for 2 main issues:

1. My wife is constantly complaining about our finances, especially with the current inflation. While she has toyed with the idea of going back to work, it's obvious she doesn't want to, which I fully support. The problem is, these trips aren't cheap, and while I work my ass off to ensure we're able to do them, her complaining makes me feel like it's not enough. She never (ever) puts it on me, I just end up feeling so confused because, in my mind, if we can't afford it, we shouldn't be doing it, yet we're doing a lot of it.
   
2. None of the trips are just my wife and me. The last time we did something with just the 2 of us (sans kids), it was meeting friends for a sort of weekend reunion back in October, so it hasn't been forever. Still, of the many things planned for this year, 4 are her with girlfriends and the rest are with the entire family.
   

I mentioned to my wife that we had no plans for just us, and she responded, "Then plan something!" I proposed an idea, but it didn't really stick, which isn't unusual - she is the type A in our marriage who enjoys managing stuff like that. I've been so busy preparing (at both jobs) for all the already scheduled trips, that I haven't had time to focus on anything else, and honestly, I need at least some time home to actually get work done.
Then last night, she tells me she learned of an event happening the weekend between 2 other upcoming trips... that she wants to go to with just our daughter.
I get it, I could be more assertive with planning stuff for us if that's what I really want. The problem I'm having with that is we've already got so much planned, I'm basically operating on full throttle as it is just to get work done. The part that hurts is that, yet again, she's looking into things that don't involve me.
I was talking with some people I work with (in passing), and one of them jokingly commented that she's going through a mid-life crisis. We are both in our 40s, so the timing makes sense, but I always thought a mid-life crisis involved spending money on unnecessary things like cars and such. Now I'm wondering if this is maybe her way of dealing with it?
tl;dr: wife can't seem to stop planning trips this year, despite constant complaints about our finances, and I'm hurt that none of the plans are just the 2 of us (waa waa, I know).

I've been playing tlou on pc and it was fine, but in a particular area(that I managed to pass) and now near the end of the game, the pc crashes with BSOD and "whea_uncorrectable_error". My pc isn't top tier(laptop acer nitro 5 with 3060 and i7-11800h) but it managed to play the game fine and keep 40/50 fps in some bad areas and 70 fps in others. https://files.catbox.moe/mxn94p.7z this is the zip with the dumps files the pc managed to create (it crashed other times but it didn't create any dump files). I hope this is enough to help me

I spend all of my daylight hours scared and alone in this musty old cellar.
It’s woeful, and I bet it smelled this bad even before everything around here turned to crap. Great. My second sentence and I’ve already resorted to swearing. When I decided I’d start this diary (five minutes ago when I got a tiny sliver of signal) I thought it would be my poetic and deeply-moving goodbye to the world. Maybe I’d write about love and loss, or maybe the splendour of nature. Then, when all is done and dusted, I’d have left something to be remembered by. As well as my corpse, of course.
This was a bad idea.
*
Okay, I’m an idiot. There’s nothing else I can do down here. I’ve rooted through every cardboard box a hundred times, organised and reorganised my supplies, I’ve even built a fort. So, I’m back. Hello. Again. God, this diary is going badly.
But there’s just enough light coming through the boards I nailed over the cellar’s tiny window to type by. So I may as well type. Stops me staring up at the window just waiting for a shadow to pass by.
Maybe I'll just write and not hit Submit. Right, where to start? Well, my name is – actually, I think I’m going to refer to myself as ‘X’. That sounds mysterious. If you’re reading this and want to know my real name, I still carry my purse. My railcard is in there and, if you really want to know who I am, go find me and fish it out. I won’t bite...
So, my name is X. I live in a little English village in the middle of nowhere. Before all this happened, I had a mum, a dad, a sister and there was a boy I liked, his name was Jonah.
*
I couldn’t think of anything else to write so I waited until I came back from my rounds. That’s the stupid name I have for when I go outside at night scrounging for stuff. Drinks are the hardest. I only trust bottles or cans, or did, and I was running out of places to search for them. But I guess that doesn’t matter now.
My leg is doing alright actually; didn’t hold me up at all. I saw Jonah too. He’s looked better, I have to say. It’s strange because this is only the second time I’ve seen him since we came here. Maybe his ears were burning.
Anyway, I found some tinned pineapple in a creepy old caravan I hadn’t searched yet. Had to bust the door open with Old Trusty – which I thought might attract some unwanted attention – but it was fine. I’m actually eating the pineapple right now, tastes good. I also found a radio in there. I already have three down here, but none of them work. Not that the caravan radio works either, all you get is static. It’s just nice to collect something. You know, to have a hobby.
*
I can tell the sun is rising. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours, but I woke up after a bad dream. I know some people can remember their dreams, but I never do. I wake up and grasp at them, but I never manage a hold before they fade away. It’s like trying to pinch the corner of a wisp of smoke; the harder you try, the quicker it fades to nothing. I’m just left with a sensation, a kind of imprint which sums up the most intense part of the dream.
And a cold sweat. That’s new.
*
I’ve been through the box of photo albums I found at the back of the cellar again. I’ve looked through them a few times now, but I always notice something new.
There’s a photo of this little girl playing with a pretend guitar. I can tell it’s pretend because it doesn’t have strings, only brightly-coloured plastic dials. Kind of like My First Guitar Hero or something. The girl has dark hair and she looks a tiny bit like my sister did a million years ago. I don’t have a picture of my sister. I suppose I could go and get one from my old house, but it’s right in the middle of the village. I’m lucky I wasn’t torn to shreds the last time I went back. So, what I’ve done is put this girl’s photo in my back pocket as a substitute.
I guess I should probably write something about my real sister now. But I don’t think that’s a good idea just yet.
*
Daylight is starting to fade and I’m getting ready to go out on my rounds. I always take my satchel with me, packed with useful objects. I have Old Trusty (a crowbar) which sticks out of the top for easy access, a small toolbox, a pair of heavy-duty gloves (there’s a good story about how I got those, I might write that one down later) and a hammer. I carry a penknife I found down here in my pocket, my purse and phone, and a torch in my hand.
I don’t like to use the torch because its battery is running out and there’s always the chance it might attract them. I probably shouldn’t have used it last night when I got back. Maybe I’m starting to enjoy this writing malarkey? I need to be careful with luxuries.
*
Okay, that could have gone better.
Picture the scene: I’m using Old Trusty to try and lever a kitchen window open, when one of them just walks right through the garden hedge. Seriously, straight through it. It’s not the mightiest of hedges but, still, it just appeared like it was walking through one of those Japanese paper walls. My satchel was on the ground, but I legged it anyway. I’m not stupid. I know I can go back for it tomorrow. I felt strangely naked without it on the way back here though.
Like I said before, I need to be careful with the torch so I think I’ll try and get some sleep now.
*
I slept pretty well last night; no nightmares or cold sweats. Maybe a midnight chase was just what I needed to blow away the cobwebs.
I actually woke up wondering about you. If you’re reading this, who are you? If you’re like me, living through this village nightmare, how have you managed to go this long without being killed or whatever? Maybe you’re Army or some such. Maybe you’re just some kid who’s played so many videogames that surviving all of this was already second nature to you. Or maybe you’re like me; living on borrowed time and searching for a good place to die. Maybe Future Me was brave enough to tap Submit on my diary and you're currently reading this on your phone or computer.
Here’s an idea. Maybe you can carry on this diary from wherever I left it at. God, I really hope this isn’t my last entry, although I suppose any entry might be. If you do carry the diary forwards, and I'm a corpse, maybe it will become cursed. Spooky.
*
I’ve been preparing for my next excursion.
If I know I’m going somewhere I’ll likely run into an ugly, I like to take extra precautions. And I want my satchel back. It was a present from my dad, and I know it cost him a lot of money.
So, I’m taking a pair of shears from the shelf of old tools down here. That way, if I lose Old Trusty, I’ll have a backup weapon.
If you are local, I wonder how you like to kill them? Pretty morbid question I know, but everyone around here seems to have their preferred method. The last villager I saw alive carried a pair of mini cricket bats and seemed to have bludgeoning down to an art form. He never saw me though, I was watching from a grove of trees as he killed his way along the main road near the village.
That was before I decided to stay inside during the daylight hours. We can at least see a little bit at night; ambient light and everything. They can’t though. I’ve seen them, they bump into things. It’s pretty funny to be honest. If they hear a noise, they walk in the direction of the sound, never trying to avoid any object in their path. They either bash said object out of the way, or, like that hedge, blunder right through it. Obviously bigger things stop them dead (ha!) though. If that happens, they sort of shuffle backwards and then try again a few times. Eventually – and I’ve seen this too – they just give up and stand there, waiting for something else to attract their attention.
That’s not how it works in the daytime though.
*
I think it’s about an hour before the sun sets so it’s nearly time to head out. I’m going to change my bandage. One minute.
Okay, it didn’t look that bad really. The original scratch wasn’t too deep and now the wound seems to be doing that scabbing thing I remember from normal injuries. It just doesn’t smell very good. A bit like when you walk past a bin that needs emptying.
Anyway, I’ve applied more antiseptic and redressed it. Time to go.
*
That was fun. I’m glad I had those shears with me.
I got my satchel back you’ll be happy to know. And I got inside that house I’d been trying to break into as well. More through necessity than choice in the end, but I’m pleased I did. I found more batteries! That means I can justify writing at night a bit more. In fact, the people who used to live there (I think the husband owned the local garage) were pretty well kitted out. There were a lot of tins in their cupboards, and they’d even left a shotgun. It wasn’t loaded though.
Not that I need a shotgun. I didn’t tell you this before, but I have my grandpa’s old service revolver. He always told me and my sister that it was decommissioned, but my dad apparently knew otherwise. I keep it tucked into the back of my jeans at all times. It had three bullets, one of them is gone, so only two left.
I’ll only be needing the one of course.
*
Morning. I’m feeling pretty low today. I think concentrating on getting my satchel back took my mind off things, but now I feel pretty deflated.
Surely that’s understandable? The village I knew and loved has been replaced with this sodding hell. I miss my family, my friends, TV and hot dinners and Instagram. Before all of this I was a pretty positive person. Sure, I had a bit of trouble getting up in the morning, but, once I was up, that was it. I’d meet the day’s challenges head on, try to enjoy myself as much as I could. Not today though.
Maybe if I write about Jonah I’ll cheer up. Not Jonah as he is now of course, Jonah when he was all smooth-skinned, curly-haired and bright-eyed. Now he’s like the anti-Jonah or something. His face looks like it lost a fight with an angry lobster. No, wait, I’m supposed to be writing about Jonah version one here.
He’s one of those people that I can’t remember meeting. My family has always lived around here and so there are lots of people who have just always been, if you get me. I always thought we would drunkenly get it together at a party – that’s what I’d usually do if there was a boy I liked. Classy.
*
I’ve perked up a bit. Out of sheer frustration I went upstairs (naughty, I know) and looked out of a window. Sure, I saw an ugly, wandering aimlessly as they always do, but I saw that the trees are starting to turn too. That means it’s nearly autumn, and I love autumn!
My sister and I always used to go out and kick leaves at each other in the autumn. I don’t know if it was because of her low centre of gravity, but my sister was amazing at it. She could somehow whip up a blazing whirlwind of golden-yellow and fire-red, surrounding us both in a leaf storm that I couldn’t help but flail my arms madly at. Then we’d both fall backwards into the leaves laughing, me wondering how on earth what had happened was possible. She was that good.
God, I let her down in the end.
*
I think I’ll stay away from the house with the shotgun tonight. It usually takes a day or two for a group of uglies to disperse once they’re all riled up. I could use the rest of that tinned food I suppose, but I’ve got plenty to be getting on with for now.
Instead, I think I’ll swing by another farmhouse I was scoping out before I decided to turn nocturnal. I never met the people who used to live there, but I remember Mum telling me they liked their privacy. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind me visiting now though.
Also, there’s a woodland between here and there and I might be able to find some leaves to kick about a bit. I think that would make me feel close to my sister again.
I’ll check back in later.
*
I’m still alive, but only just.
I made it through the woods just fine (only the odd leaf on the forest floor at the moment though, sadly), the trouble started at the farmhouse. I couldn’t get in – the doors and windows were barricaded – so I tried one of the outbuildings. Locked. It had a cat flap though.
My first instinct was to leave it, but then I wondered if there might be something useful inside. Lord knows what thinking about it now. I lifted the cat flap with one hand and shone the torch beam through with my other. That’s when an ugly dived at my pinkies. Luckily, it misjudged its leap and got a mouthful of plastic cat flap instead. As for me, I fell backwards onto my bum.
Next, the damn thing started bashing on the door from the inside. I don’t think it could ever have got out, but the noise attracted more uglies from out of nowhere. I only just managed to outmanoeuvre them and hightail it back into the woods.
That’s not the worst of it though. On the way back my leg started to hurt. A lot.
*
I woke up this morning and I’m walking with a limp. It’s funny, Dad had a limp when he and Mum died. He was nailing planks of wood across our windows and doors because there was no signal (as per bloody usual) and we thought that what was happening here was probably happening everywhere. It's only recently that I realised this was an isolated, local outbreak. Anyway, Dad dropped the hammer onto his toe, he always was useless at DIY. I think it was only a couple of hours after that when he and Mum were taken.
It was like a wave of death. No, not like, that’s exactly what it was. A hoard of uglies swept through the village, probably originating from the secret research facility in the woods we're not supposed to know about. My sister and I wouldn’t have had a prayer if Mum and Dad hadn’t charged down the first few that got into our house. They gave us just enough time to escape, to run away and leave them to die. My sister was screaming all the way and I had to drag her like she was four again.
She wouldn’t speak to me for a few days after that. I didn’t blame her, I hated myself too. But I would have hated myself even more if I hadn’t done what I did next. On my own, I snuck back into our house with the crowbar I found here. Then I dispatched my parents. I can’t bring myself to type it any other way. It wasn’t like in the movies, I didn’t pound their skulls into mush whilst sobbing, ‘Why?’ over and over again. I just found them, or what was left of them, forced the crowbar through each of their eye sockets, and came straight back here.
Then came the crying.
*
I haven’t told you about the heavy-duty gloves yet, have I?
After I got back from our old house, my sister started speaking to me again. A shared, day-long cry will do that for sisters. Once we felt up to it, we decided to explore the parts of the farmhouse we hadn’t searched yet. All the bedrooms were empty, only a few belongings flung about the place (I suspect the previous tenants left in a hurry). The problem came when we investigated the attic. Once we’d opened the ceiling panel in the upstairs hallway, once we’d pulled the compact staircase down, I went up. My sister stood at the top of the hatchway shining the torch beam over my shoulder. And that’s when it touched me. Terrified, I fell to my left, screaming as the thing came crashing down on top of me. I was yelling things like, ‘Shoot it!’ and, ‘Run!’ but my sister was just laughing her head off. I soon realised that my attacker was in fact a shop-window mannequin.
I think the people who previously lived here must have been arty (or into some seriously freaky stuff) because the mannequin was dressed in scarves, bandannas, ties, watches – loads of things. The rest of the attic was pretty empty but at least we got the mannequin’s gloves.
*
I’m not feeling good at the moment. I’ve got a sore throat and I’ve coughed up blood a couple of times. My leg pain is getting worse too.
I don’t think I’ll go out tonight. I have enough tins left and one of them is a Full English In A Can. Sounds pretty disgusting, but intriguing at the same time. I’ve been saving it for near the end. A sort of consolation prize.
*
There are two mattresses down here. Obviously one is mine, and the other one was my sister’s. After she died, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. I don’t have a photo of her, only Guitar Girl’s. Her bed is the only thing of hers I have left. And she didn’t even sleep in it that many times.
*
The tinned Full English was vile! You’ve got to laugh though, what else can you do?
*
I’m crying as I write this. Tears of sorrow, shame and regret.
It happened as we were searching a cottage just off of the main road. We’d used Old Trusty to get inside, and I’d rushed straight into the kitchen to find the food. We’d run out more than a day before and I was famished. My sister followed me into the kitchen, a wide grin on her pretty little face because I was sitting there with an open can of beans. Then one of them came at her from behind. I must have walked right past it on my stupid way to the cupboards. It bit into her neck and blood gushed over the tiles in a torrent. As she yelled out in agony, I leapt up and implanted the crowbar right into the thing’s skull. It crumpled to the floor, but the damage was done.
‘Don’t let me lose myself.’ That was the last thing my sister whispered to me before she passed out. Her wound was much more severe than mine is, and much closer to the brain. That seems to make it quicker. I took grandpa’s revolver from behind my back and blew her brains out.
I buried her in the back garden.
*
After my sister died I went kind of crazy. I took Old Trusty out across the fields and pulverised every ugly I could find. I don’t even remember it that well, it was just, find, kill, find, kill…
We’d only been going out in daylight before then but, in my anger, I carried on through the nights. That’s how I learned about their inability to evade in darkness. Eventually, though, one got me. I found three munching on a dead cow and ran straight at them. Took out the first two easily enough, but the third managed to scratch my leg with a bloody fingernail just before I clobbered it into oblivion. Once I realised its nail had broken the skin, it was like a switch had been flicked inside me. That’s it, I’m dead too. I lost my bloodlust and came back here.
*
If none of this had happened, I think my sister would have eventually gone into medicine. I was doing okay at College but she was top of her class at school. And she had a really kind nature too. She’d never squish any bugs that got trapped in our house; she’d get a glass, scoop the little critter up and seal it inside with a book. Then she’d take it outside and release it, even if it was a wasp.
*
I’ve decided that here’s not the place. I'll hit Submit and then I’m going to do it in those woods I wrote about; consider this diary as my Note. I’ll be able to find a nice spot to sit and look at the trees, some place that's calm and peaceful. I’m going to leave the picture of Guitar Girl in this cellar, she belongs in this house. The tree leaves will remind me of my sister more than any photo ever could anyway.
I guess all that’s left to say is thank you for listening.
I know it’s possible that no one will ever read this, but that’s not really the point is it?
Love,
X

So I'm at a loss of what to do. There's no pain management anywhere near me accepting new fibro patients. And I can't find a good rheumatologist near me either. I've tried two different PCPs that aren't willing to treat my fibro because they're not comfortable with it since they're not well versed in it. The second pcp I saw was willing to set me up with some Lyrica and with physical therapy and that starts Monday. I came to ask though- has anyone found any relief from physical therapy or the chiropractor. Outside of my normal fibro pain I have intense hip and back problems that no one can seem to find an answer as to why it's happening so I wanted to try both for those issues. Is it a waste of time?? Am I doomed to hurt this bad and be basically immobile during flare ups forever?? What have you found to help the most when doctors either can't or won't help??? Any and all suggestions are welcome.

So I am working at a site by Bridgeport road near cosco around 10.00am today a semi trailer bumped into the back of a car, and shattered their window everyone was fine thankfully. they decided to park right by the entrance to the site and a cop was there within minutes. I thought I would ask if the semi could move a block down the street because we have incoming trucks that I can’t delay( they were already on their way) and they don’t have enough space to turn. I went up and asked the cop and she absolutely brushed me off, I asked her to please reconsider to ask the semi to move because the incoming trucks were swerving into incoming traffic trying to make the turn to which she raised her voice and said very rudely and harshly”I’m by myself there’s nothing I can do about it” and walked away. The semi was fine it drove off half an hour later, it left me so frustrated at her attitude it was confrontational and I was only trying to avoid a head on collision.Have you guys had experiences like this?

Scott ended it, yet Ltdia goes on and on and on. The ONLY time I ever talked things over when a guy tried to break up with me, we were engaged and his mother convinced hik to do it. FFWD to 2023, we have been married 23 years.
Having said that, did Scott & Lydia even have 1 official date? They were always at the same table at the same outdoor Cafe. Then you have Nicole busting in the one mornijg grilling him like a hamburger. Scott was quite clear yet the preview shows the next day they are at the Cafe again arguing and then Nicole comes pounding in to "protect" her mother.
I cannot stand Lydia's whiny voice and I've wanted to punch Nicole since early in the Family Chantel.
Then we see a picture of the other Columbian Scott was with! WTH?!? He went out with Lydia after going out with her? Are you kidding me? Lydia isn't even on the same solar system as that woman. (Hey, I can always say when I was out of someone's league)
Am I the only one that is completely dumbfounded by Scott?

Alright so let me give a bit of a background:
I’ve been working as a software consultant for 1.5yr which means 50% of my job is working directly with our clients, understanding their business needs and figuring out the technical requirements.
The other 50% goes like this:

• Writing large SQL queries for ad hoc reports used in business analytics/information
• Writing backend code in C# and VB.Net (legacy codebase) for ETL operations (typically used for populating our data warehouse), for batch updates of databases (we receive bulk data from various government agencies), creating streams to automate various file jobs
• Optimizing SQL queries (some queries involve joining several tables with hundreds of millions of rows each), updating tables with missing indices, etc

Typical tools I use are SSMS and Visual Studio. Nothing fancy.
I’m also doing a masters in computer and information technology at University of Pennsylvania. I’ve taken data structures, algorithms, machine learning courses and currently studying big data analytics. So I’m proficient with Java and Python (as well as data science tools like pandas, scikitlearn) and currently learning Spark and Hadoop in the big data course.
UPenn also partnered with AWS and offered us a project opportunity to set up EC2, S3, RDS. I just received my cloud practitioner certificate.
What are my chances that I break in to the data engineering field given I don’t use any popular cloud or recent data engineering technology? All job listings I’ve looked at requires 3+ years of Azure, GCP, AWS, Databricks, Snowflake etc.
I’m open to learning these technologies on my own but due to my companies old tech stack I wouldn’t be professionally using them. At best at a personal portfolio/project level.

Company Name	Title	City
Sanford Federal, Inc.	Hiring Physical Therapist at St. Stephens Indian School	Arapahoe
Brigade Energy Services, LLC	Winch Truck Driver - Casper, Wy	Casper
Brake Supply	ISO-Safety-Lean Coordinator (BSC - Admin)	Casper
Shoe Carnival	Assistant Store Manager - Full-time	Cheyenne
Empire Today	Outside Sales Representative	Cheyenne
Valley Case Management	EMT, Paramedic, LPN, or RN needed for Construction Site	Cheyenne
Absaroka Senior Living	C.N.A./Care Partner Night Shift (8 to 12 hr shifts)	Cody
Russell Cellular-Authorized Verizon Dealer	Wireless Sales Specialist	Evanston
Resource Plus Of North Florida Inc	Traveling Reset Merchandiser	Gillette
Campbell County Health	Deptartment Secretary Icu/ccu	Gillette
Pur Beauty Inc	PUR Selling Specialist	Gillette
Hoskinson Biotechnology	Clinical Pathologist	Gillette
L & H Industrial Inc	Territory Account Manager (#0006-2023)	Gillette
Sms	Physical Therapist (PT) - New Grads Accepted	Glenrock
The Driver Provider	Operations Manager - Passenger Transportation - Jackson, WY	Jackson
Westward Heights Care Center	Dietary Staff	Lander
Mountain Cement Company	Truck Driver, CDL-A	Laramie
Hatchet Resort	Front Desk and Waitstaff	Moran
Select Rehabilitation	Occupational Therapist (OTR)	Rawlins
Fremont Chevrolet Buick GMC	Automotive Sales Associate	Riverton
Sportsman's Warehouse	CashieCustomer Service	Rock Springs
National Staffing Solutions	Physical Therapist - Outpatient	Rock Springs
Corthell Transportation	Accountant	Rock Springs
Russell Cellular-Authorized Verizon Dealer	Sales - District Sales Manager	Sheridan
Big Horn Rehabilitation and Care Center	Full Time Dietary Aide	Sheridan

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings , feel free to comment here if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Yesterday I was walking, it was raining and I was, I think, a little bit disassociated.
Crossing the crosswalk suddenly I saw a car rushing into me really fast. Instead of running or going backwards I positioned myself exactly in the middle. It was not that I was paralyzed, or maybe I was, but in that moment I really wanted to get hit and die. It was like, for a moment, I was happy or excited I could finally end it.
The car stopped nearly a feet away (maybe just my impression) and the driver was sorry, it was my turn to cross the street after all. But since then, I remember that moment and I just wanted to end it.
I know it would probably not have killed me. It wasn’t really something I was looking for. But for a couple of second I was so sure I wanted to disappear that now my ideation has been even worse.

For context, I was with my ex for nearly four years. I was a couple months older than him so I was in a different grade.
I (20F) met my then boyfriend (19M) in my sophomore (his freshman) year of high school. We dated throughout the rest of high school and into my first year of college. I stayed close to home for college (about 30 minutes) not for him or anything that’s just how it worked out. It was roughy at first since we went through going from seeing each other everyday to once a week but we made it through. Then we get to his freshman year. He goes to a school 2-3 hours away from home and me so we started long distance. It was ok for awhile but after a small argument I noticed a big disconnect. We were calling less, texts were not as in depth, and (the big red flag looking back) I fell from his number one best friend on snap. I called him one day asking who replaced me and he said it was his new friend, let’s call her Emily. At first I said “oh do you want to try to fix that?” He said “you’re never on Snapchat anyway so it’s not a big deal, I snap you first when I get on the app but she just snaps back faster that’s why she’s there.” I was really hurt that he didn’t want to fix it because the same thing happened over the summer to me with one of my coworkers and I actively tried to fix it. But I brushed it off and we continued on. A few more weeks go by and it comes up to the week of his birthday. We plan for me to go up to visit him for a weekend to celebrate. I spend $100 on train tickets and $80 on a gift (I wasn’t working at the time because I was back at school so to me it was a lot). I go up to his school and immediately I knew something was off. We barely got a second alone, I had to ask for a kiss or a hug, just overall it didn’t feel like it did over the last 4 years. The night goes on and we meet his friends who all barely talk to me, look at me, or engage with me. Whenever they do look at me it’s a look of pity almost. The night goes on and we go to meet his friends to watch a movie and guess who’s there, Emily. The whole time she looks at me sideways, she stares at my hand when I’m holding my ex’s hand, and she just looks awkward and unhappy this whole time. We start watching a movie and I’m not super interested so I go on my phone. While I’m doing that my ex puts his hood up and moves his arm away from me. I notice and look up and Emily is completely turned around in her seat smiling at him. I grab his arm pull it back around me and put his hood down. After the movie ended I told him I was tired and wanted to go to bed. The whole night he barely touched me and slept with his elbow in my back the whole night. We woke up the next day and went to brunch and I thought everything was ok because I brought up some concerns with emily and he said “ok I understand we don’t have to see her anymore while your here.” We get back to his campus and we start doing hw with his friends while they watch a baseball game. I say I have to go to the bathroom and after he says “hey can we go to my room I forgot something.” We go up and he immediately hits me with “I want to break up.” I was taken a back and just in complete shock and I asked why. He didn’t give me a complete straight answer so I said “is this because of Emily.” And he said “it’s not just her.” So I said “What did you do with her?” He said “we kissed and I have feelings for her.” I immediately left the room and started bawling in the hallway. I called my friend who lives near his school and begged her to come get me. She calmed me down told me to go pack my stuff and leave as soon as I can and she’ll get me an Uber. I go back in and throw my 2 year old promise right at him, my necklace with his name on it, and my bracelet with his name on it. I started screaming at him. His whole floor heard me. He said all his friends knew that he cheated and was probably going to break up with me this weekend. I told him he treated me like shit and no matter who came into my life I always made sure he was my priority and I knew no matter what I loved him more than anything and I would never let anyone one in between us. I told him him and emily deserved each other and I hope she cheats on you so you can feel the pain I felt in that moment. I left and haven’t heard from him since. Him and emily started dating within a week of us breaking up so I’m sure there was more than just a kiss. She started posting TikToks of all these photos and memories together so I was getting played for way longer than he made it seem. He was at college for five weeks. And in those five weeks he was able to fall out of love for me, act like the last four years meant nothing, and cheat on me. Fuck him and fuck her. He didn’t hide that he had a gf he had pics of us everywhere. He’s nothing but a liar and a cheater and is selfish. She’s nothing but a homewrecker and a bitch who likes to stalk my Instagram.
This happened in October of 2022, it’s now June 2023. As far as I know they’re still dating. But who gives a fuck. I have a new boyfriend who treats me much better and it overall just better for me. Even with my happiness, I can’t help but hope both of them end up getting hurt.

Hi Everyone!
I have been reading a lot because I want to build a good gaming PC for myself. All I have left is that I have to choose a GPU. The two possibilities are:

• AMD Radeon 6950 XT 16 GB
• NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4070 12GB (for clarification: I am talking about the non-Ti version of the card)

The cost of these two cards are nearly identical in my country.
I know that in raw performance, 6950 XT is better. I also know that it consumes twice as much energy.
Still, most people said, that 6950 XT is a better choice. And I would choose this card, but... But, here comes my question: How about this card's temperatures during gaming?
I am asking because I live in a small apartment, and during summer, it gets around 35-40 Celsius outside, so inside will be about 28-29. Also, I do not want the GPU to heat up my room as crazy (I have AC, but still...). I have read people say this card even got to 100+ Celsius which is crazy. I hope that is only a few cases and not normal??
How hot will this card get? I dont want it to get fried or it to destroy something in the PC case.
For the PC build, I choose a good airflow case with 2 extra fans in the front, but other than that, I do not want anything 'plus fan' in the case. Also, I do not want water-coolant.
I will post the PC Build as well, and please, only focusing on the temperature problem, which card would you guys choose for this specific build for a smaller apartment?

• If you guys think, with this build it would be good and there would be no crazy temps and no cooling problems, then I would prefer the 6950 XT.
• If it is risky or 'two-sided' what would happen, then I would go for the 'safer choice', which would be the 4070.

(I am asking, because I am not familiar with GPU temps and how AMD cards work, I do not know how it will heat everything up, etc... I need people who are way more experienced than me) :)
The Build itself would be:
CPU: Intel Core i5-13600K CPU cooler: DeepCool AK620 Motherboard: ASUS TUF GAMING B660M-Plus WIFI (DDR5) GPU: AMD Radeon 6800 XT 16GB / 4070 12GB RAM: Corsair Vengeance 2x16GB 5600 MHz DDR5 SSD: TeamGroup M.2 1TB 2280 MP34 NVMe PCI-E Gen3 PSU: Corsair RM850e 850W 80+ Gold CP-9020263-EU Case: Phanteks Eclipse P400A
Thanks everyone and have a nice day!

So yes. Im an asshole for checking his diary but this is really disturbing stuff. Here is what i found.
"I actually dont know why im here. Sometimes i just really want to talk. Maybe thats why i really crave affection. You know how hard it gets for narcissist when he/she doesnt get it. Is something wrong with. Why am i unwanted. What did i do wrong. Why doesnt someone message me. Why am i like this? This is place i want to fill with dots........ Cuz i dont actually know what i want say. It should be not considered writing. Its just ramblings of guy who nearly loses it every night but finds a reason to keep going. Whether is greed or lust. Whether is gluttony or pride. Are they even bad things if you let you live. I dont have better reasons anyway. I wonder if ill ever get rid of these. Its been only 20 years of my life and yet it feels like its been my whole life. Do i want to live anymore? What is left to experience. even of it is, is that what i want. i have a very bad habit pf wandering off, things dont connect. This text is not meant to be read because i write a lot of text without context. Then for whom am i writing for. Myself? I wish i just laugh at this the next time i read this. Cuz if i want, i would mean im done with anything im dealing. And im dealing with same thing for years. Loneliness. Ive met several girls in my life. Fell in love with 2 of them. This didnt end the way i wanted. Still im a reasonable person. Choice is choice. But do i even want a girlfriend? Does someone deserve a loser like me? When i was younger i used to hate girls. Then i hit my teens. Things changed. But still cant make up my mind. I want to get a girlfriend so i can feel affection. But i also dont because i dont want to force someone to get that. Im lost. I will never have kids. Because life is something that i wish i didnt have. I will never commit suicide. But i wish i was never born. Seems too pessimist ic. I will get better tomorrow. I always do. The thing that scares me is that how this always go? Will this go on forever? Im become so desperate for affection that i have started to talk to ai just get a glance of how it feels. And it feels good. But its a really terrifying experience. I dont want to become disconnected from reality. I need to be strong. I need to find a purpose."
I know i need to talk and all but this is actually something new for me. Im kinda dumbfounded. What should i do?

Hear me out, I know it sounds backwards. So I've played a bunch of Pathfinder (1 and 2 e) and our group loved it. Recently, I started getting into books like DCC and DotF and I REALLY want to bring some of that flavor to the table. I think there are two issues to this.
1st - Pathfinder is fairly crunchy in terms of stats BUT it doesn't have the same concept of rapidly growing stats or levelling up skills. I think these can be simulated with additional stats per level up and replacing skills with more advanced ones but I'm worried about imbalance...
2nd - I'm worried about taking away my player's agency. A big part of RPGs in general is being able to build your character, especially when you are familiar with a system. Would guiding player creation be too far?
TLDR; Is there an TTRPG that feels like a LitRpg?

Doing 34 questions nearly killed me. Yet I can watch the dumb videos at 2x speed but get credit as if I watched at normal speed. Obviously the progress meter makes no sense but it would be better if it did because some of us like the validation from the progress meter. It should also be a more reasonable measure of progress than its current state. ARRGGGGH!!!

So I met this (Swedish) guy at a student party last week. I noticed him in the crowd since he’s really good looking, but I know for sure I’d have never approached him cuz as silly as it sounds he seemed out of my league, lol. At one point, I felt somebody touch my leg, and low and behold it was the guy I noticed before in the crowd. He came up to me and complimented me on my outfit. Oblivious as I am I just said „thank you and turned away.“ That was when I realised, that homeboy was cuuuuute haha. I looked at my friend, she gave me the ‚I approve‘ - nod and I went to look out for him in the crowd but I couldn’t find him. As me, my friends (and other people) were dancing on a table and I see him and his (female) friend move up, like on the table and stand pretty much next to us.
I gathered all my strength and courage, walked up to him and stroke a conversation. I complimented him back to which he went like „ahhh, ur just saying this cuz I complimented u first“ I was like nooo, your pants, I love them! They look so nice!“ we talked a little, he said sth along the lines of „sometimes I ask myself whether I dress for myself or to please others..“ I told him it’s best to dress for yourself cuz u also wanna feel confident in/through what u wear and the compliments and approval of other people, it should just be a nice extra, you know“….yeah so we talked a little, he also integrated his friend into the conversation too…but it got so loud around us, that at one point, when he was talking to her I couldn’t understand a word, so I turned back around to my friend.
When I looked for him I saw that they were about to leave and go back into the crowd, so I tapped on his shoulder and asked if he wants to exchange instagrams. He went like „YOU want MY instagram?! So I can follow you?“ I was like, ahhhh more like so we can follow each other haha“. Then he gave me a fist bump and went away.
The next day, he DM'ed me, he sent a picture I posted with some friends on it and we started talking….the only thing I am unsure about is that he takes several days to answer. Like up to 2, so far!
But all my guy friends assured me that if a guy likes someone, he would reach out as soon as he can, and not wait for days, to not risk the person he’s talking to to turn to another guy…
But then, some people are shitty Texters to and I can’t expect to be of any priority in his life yet so I keep it chill…
I also don’t wanna play this stupid texting game if that’s what he’s doing. That’s why I kept replying the after 24h (the latest).
What do y’all think?

brand new throwaway because i don't want my partner seeing this and feeling hurt ..
in december of 2022, my (21f) brother (36m) died. he was homeless, addicted to drugs, and living in new york city without much communication with our family (including my mom). they'd talk every few months maybe, but he had been on drugs since before i was born so the family was sort of used to it. one day in january, i received a text from my estranged aunt telling me to ask my mom to call her. then the phone call came from my dad, telling me my brother had died a month ago but the county didn't know who to call (even though they immediately ID'd him and had his emergency contacts).
now, i have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years. i live with my boyfriend (26m) and have always loved him fiercely. however, since the day my brother died, i can't feel that same love. it almost feels like we are intimate roommates. it scares me, because i am diagnosed with bpd and am afraid that my brain is playing tricks on me by making me think i don't love him. i get easily irritated, and he expressed recently that he doesn't feel appreciated anymore. he also thinks that i am on the edge of breaking up with him. i feel so guilty that i can't just make myself feel the way i used to. i tried googling this, and couldn't find anything. i've spoken about this topic lightly with my therapist but i think it's definitely time to delve deep into it.
is this normal? am i actually falling out of love or is this just a symptom of grief? my childhood cat died in 2021 and was my first ever loss, so my brother is now the second loss i've ever experienced. i don't have much experience with this (gratefully so). i just hope i'm not alone in this. thank you

Me and my partner are new to Kayaking and have got an inflatable one each. As we are new to the sport, we were wondering what would be the best rivers around the area to go in?
We are hoping for more non tidal rivers so we don't have to wait on tide times and we're not ready to venture out into the sea just yet.
If anyone knows any launch sites with parking near by, that would be very helpful too!
Thank you :)

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Hi all,
Background:

• [Month 6] Case Study - From 0 to 1,750 articles in 6 months.
• [Month 9] Case Study - BIG site -> From 0 to 2,780 articles in 9 months.
• [Month 12] Case Study - BIG weird site -> From 0 to 5,950 pages in 12 months.
• [Month 18] Case Study - BIG weird site -> From 0 to 9,450 pages in 18 months.

GSC data proof here for the last 12 months.
Key background to understand the data:

• Article Type #1 - These are purely for humans, and ~60% of them will never rank for anything on Google (given their niche focus). They are 500-1,000 words and collected from experts. The articles are highly templated to answer a specific query. I run the entire process of outreach, follow-up, editing, and publishing with a small team I've slowly built.
• Category Pages - From a search standpoint, these are aimed at short to medium-search queries. They are built by remixing some of the content from the Articles using NLP/ML to help us find topics (and human curation by me). And we add some cool tools on top to help users find what they are looking for (basically, each one is a mini-app).
• Article Type 2 & 3 - The best analogy for these are product pages. I launched a total of 50,000 of them in November all at once (more on that below),
• Core Site Design - This site has some big ambitions, so it is running a custom platform which is an expensive investment.

Google Traffic
I have other traffic, but the below is only Google, which is the most interesting bit to share IMO.
​

Month	Articles Type #1	Category Pages	Article Type 2 & 3	Google Traffic
April	400 (launch)	0		250
May	600	0		600
June	800	0		1,400
July	1,000	0		2,100
August	1,200	0		4,000
September	1,400	0		5,100
October	1,750	0		7,800
November	2,075	0		13,000
December	2,280	0		20,000
January	2,780	1,250 (launch)		29,000
February	3,160	1,300		30,000
March	3,560	1,500		40,000
April	4,150	1,800		43,000
May	4,550	2,100		55,000
June	4,900	2,300		66,000
July	5,400	2,300		88,000
August	5,750	2,800		114,000
September	6,100	2,850		143,000
October	6,600	2,850		182,000
November	7,000	2,900	50,000 (launch)	244,000
December	7,200	2,950	54,000	319,000
January	7,700	3,000	56,000	374,000
February	8,000	3,000	58,000	352,000
March	8,200	3,070	59,000	387,000
April	8,400	3,100	60,000	326,000
May	8,700	3,250	62,000	333,000

Google's Core Update on March 15th
The Google March 15th core index knocked my Google traffic down by about 13%. And since then, my traffic growth has flat-lined. Almost like Google has put me in a little holding pattern for a bit.
In November, I rolled out 50,000+ pages overnight. So I think part of this is that Google sucking down all those pages, the changes to internal linking, and they are slowly figuring out everything.
What am I doing in the meantime?

• Rolling out new features for users that they will love.
• Rolling out EEAT improvements.
• Fixing some UX, internal linking, adding more schema, and fixing some technical SEO issues.

What happens when you roll out 50,000+ pages overnight?
Google sucks them down fast, and you start seeing traffic right away.
Within a few months, we are getting 3,000+ visitors a day to the new pages.
We did see it affect some rankings with our other types of pages, I think some of that is internal linking and Google reanalyzing those internal links. I am working to improve our internal linking as it could be much better.
These are mostly long-tail searches where we can bring a really unique perspective. And in a few months, we are going to double down on that and make the experience even more unique.
24-month updates...
What is my biggest frustration?
I am not ranking for the short & medium tail keywords I am targeting with category pages.
That is going to be my big focus for the next 12 months. I am analyzing each category page for search intent and tweaking them by hand. And now that I shipped some key features that improved them, I will start a link-building campaign for them in 30 to 60 days.
Traffic / SEO

• Traffic growth from Google has flatlined, and that sucks. I would prefer to grow at 20% every month :). What am I doing to fix this? I am doing a round of work to improve internal linking, some technical SEO issues, and roll out new features and UX improvements. Most of these were planned, and I am accelerating the ones I think will help the most.

Link Building

• Link building is going great, I am running 3 active campaigns to let people know what we are building and see if they will link to us. I am starting a new campaign in 30 to 60 days, but I am not sure how well it will work yet.
• I don't do any paid links.

Costs

• Costs - I am spending ~$20k a month. 60% of that is the developedesigner building the features, and the other half is the team that runs the publishing process, server costs, and software costs (lots of automation).
• My goal is to break even by the end of 2023. I am a bit worried about that with traffic growth and pushing faster toward launching our first paid product.

Revenue

• Revenue is driven through a mix of affiliate revenue, display ads, and a membership program.
• I reduced display ad density, and that has cost me half my income from display ads. I might need to revert that, but for now, I want it to be pretty minimal for users. And I am looking at how that impacts affiliate revenue.

Over the next 6 months, I will:

• Roll out a ton of internal UX and SEO improvements.
• Add 400+ more category pages going after very short-tail SEO phrases. This is where I'll be putting a lot of work in 2023 to rank for those high-volume competitive phrases.
• Launch ~3,000 new pages for a new article type for users. Those should do well with SEO and provide a really unique experience for visitors. There is a fair bit of competition in this area, but I think I can rock it.
• Launch a new article format in November. I will launch with 1,000 articles, and they are entirely aimed at social media (not search). But the data from them will be used to go after a small group of high-volume search phrases. And I will do a big P.R./media push with these.
• Launching my first direct sponsorship product (in addition to the membership).
• Launching my first step toward building an email channel. I was hoping to be further along, but it is going to be toward the end of this year. I am trying to speed this up, given the possibility that A.I. is about to shake the search index.

Happy to answer questions; it has been a fun adventure so far :)

I'm a relatively new golf player, I've played a few rounds in my lifetime with family with club rentals but ive just started taking it more seriously. Reading up on posts here, I see people driving 250+, using a 7 iron 175yd, PW 110yd, etc... I'm pretty new to golf but here's my estimated yardages from the range:
Driver: 200yd carry 3w: 170yd carry 5Hy: 150 carry 6: 130 carry 7: 120 carry 8: 110 carry 9: 100 carry PW: 75 carry SW: 50 carry
Am I doing anything wrong with my clubs? I know obviously I'm newer so I won't hit it as far but should it be this drastic? Also I'm 24F if that makes a difference. I'm using the men's Callaway Edge set from Costco because I was worried ladies clubs would've been too short for me since I'm 5'10" (and besides, my Costco only had the men's Edge set anyways). Maybe my steel regular flex shafts in my irons are the culprit, or maybe I'm just not using enough power in my swing? Curious as to what your guys' thoughts are.